Just Great

[panicandfreeze]

So, not that I'm not thrilled to be just pulled out of my life once again to go save someone or something or whatever I'm doing in this game you stuck me in. But really, why can't people just ask for help anymore? And did I have to be kidnapped naked? Sure, you gave me one pair of clothes. One. What happens if demon blood gets on them? You know how hard that stuff is to get out sometimes.

And you couldn't have taken me from a time when my powers were under control? I'm liable to blow something up just as easily as freeze them. What if a squirrel startles me and I blow it up! Squirrel guts. Just like that. And before you get any ideas about dinosaurs, just don't. Don't.

One last thing. If I could stop screaming for Leo every ten seconds that be fabulous too.

--Piper 

Comments

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

I'll be sure and not startle you then, Sugar Plum. Not that I'm used to the place yet either.

[panicandfreeze]

Hardy har har. Very fun. Hilarious.

And yes. Make some sound when you come say hello. Unless you want to end up in a thousand pieces.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

You set that one up. Don't blame me, Peaches.

[panicandfreeze]

Yeah. I blame my mun. Actually I blame her on a lot of things. And it's Piper. Not Peaches, Sugar Plum or any other kind of fruit you can think up. I'm not a vegetable either.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

My mun informs me that 1940's radio banter is not a useful way to communicate, but I really can't do anything about it. It's nothin' personal. I call everyone whatever pops into my head that's funny, if it makes you feel better.

[panicandfreeze]

Try Piper. You can it with me, Piiipppeeerrrr.


See, this is bound to be a problem. Right about now is when one of my sisters would come and intervene or do something. But since they're not here, I'm just going to keep talking.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Can't give you any pointers there. Only child.

[panicandfreeze]

Huh. Must have been nice not having anyone steal your earrings.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

I don't think I ever owned any of those before I got married.

[panicandfreeze]

Ahah! Yeah you really are an only child aren't you.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

I don't know what they'd of done with another of me. Besides, you can't wear earrings at the boxing gym. They get caught on stuff.

[panicandfreeze]

Yeah well, I've been told you cant fight demons in high heels but anything's possible.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Well, I sure as heck wouldn't. The last one I kicked bruised my foot, and that was in my static shoes.

[panicandfreeze]

Kicked? You kicked a demon?

Well that was pretty stupid.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Got him back through the portal he crawled out of, didn't it? Mind yah, that was just the first time we tangled with The Destroyer. Most other times we got a little magical help.

[panicandfreeze]

Good plan. It could have ripped your leg off.

[girlinasquirrelsuit]

Probably. He's had it in for me since. Course, I also defeated his Draxites three or four times, my husband banished him after the Nazis decided having a pet demon would be fun, and I definitely broke into his castle one time. Pretty sure it was mostly that whole bein' drop-kicked across dimensions thing, though.

[panicandfreeze]

Nazis? Uh huh.

[demontobeloved]

There's a simple solution to the demon blood thing. Stop blowing us up.

1/2

[panicandfreeze]

1/2

2/2

[panicandfreeze]

Stop trying to kill me and my family and maybe I'll think about it.

[demontobeloved]

Surprised to see me?

[Oh, Piper.]

And I stopped trying to kill you ages ago.

[panicandfreeze]

Surprised. Yes that's a good word! I liked it better when you were dead.

A demon can't change it's stripes, Cole. You can play human, you can pretend. You might even believe it. But you're still a demon. And you're still an evil son of a bitch.

And a lawyer.

[demontobeloved]

Now that's insulting.

I'm not a lawyer anymore.

[panicandfreeze]

Riiiight. But you just play one on tv, right?

[demontobeloved]

Well, if you put it that way, you technically play a witch on TV.

But who's counting realities?

[This snark is to just distract from the point that, yes, while he really doesn't want to be, and it took getting banished to the void between worlds to change him, he's still a bit of a asshat.]

[panicandfreeze]

Yeaaah, screw you too. Only not literally. Cause that would be gross.

[lol Piper is just as much of an asshat sometimes!]

So where are you stuck at? I bet you don't have hungry dinosaurs coming after you.

[demontobeloved]

At the moment? My mun's mind.

He's trying to get me back into paradisa, but I think I'm proving a bit too difficult to get back into the swing of things.

Plus, Phoebe's there. It'll just make things... awkward.

[panicandfreeze]

Ahh, lucky you. Well, I hope you stay in your mun's mind, far, far far away from Phoebe. That awkward silence between the two of you will be the least of your problems.

My mun has me over at outer_divide

[demontobeloved]

In case you forgot, Piper, I saved your life once. [More than once.] Besides, I'd never hurt Phoebe. You know that.

[panicandfreeze]

Yeah, what do you want, thanks? Listen Cole, it's not that I don't believe that you genuinely want to be good. It's that I know better. And hurting Phoebe is in the eye of the beholder.