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Davesprite: Do that voice-test thing.
latin
are you shitting me right now
of all the different handles you could have come up with for me
you chose to go with fucking latin
you realize no one actually speaks this shit anymore right
go on name at least one person you know that uses it
ill even give you a moment to think about it
...
......
.........
wow youre really not disappointing in the lacking an answer department
i might have to whip out a pen and paper just so i can write this lack of an answer down
could you maybe go a little slower i want to be sure that i catch every lacking word
anyway why am i even here at all
youve already got real dave up in here so theres virtually no reason to have me around
unless this is the start to some sort of travelling freak taxidermy sideshow collection
sup step right up kiddies dont be shy
forget the bearded lady and the blind sword swallowing midget
come see the half bird half dave wonder
five cents gets you front row seats to his hilarious antics and tickets are selling fast
next thing i know were gonna be selling plush mes like theyre plush jackelopes in some pos gift shop off of route 66
all fuzzy and smelling like mothballs next to the shrunken crocodile heads
and you are not going to like the plans i have for all the things you love in the event that you turn that into a puppet joke
have some fucking decency jesus
dude dont think i dont see you practically fondling the idea of putting me somewhere
just for that ima ollie out of here before you can get any further ahead of yourself
this is embarrassing
are you shitting me right now
of all the different handles you could have come up with for me
you chose to go with fucking latin
you realize no one actually speaks this shit anymore right
go on name at least one person you know that uses it
ill even give you a moment to think about it
...
......
.........
wow youre really not disappointing in the lacking an answer department
i might have to whip out a pen and paper just so i can write this lack of an answer down
could you maybe go a little slower i want to be sure that i catch every lacking word
anyway why am i even here at all
youve already got real dave up in here so theres virtually no reason to have me around
unless this is the start to some sort of travelling freak taxidermy sideshow collection
sup step right up kiddies dont be shy
forget the bearded lady and the blind sword swallowing midget
come see the half bird half dave wonder
five cents gets you front row seats to his hilarious antics and tickets are selling fast
next thing i know were gonna be selling plush mes like theyre plush jackelopes in some pos gift shop off of route 66
all fuzzy and smelling like mothballs next to the shrunken crocodile heads
and you are not going to like the plans i have for all the things you love in the event that you turn that into a puppet joke
have some fucking decency jesus
dude dont think i dont see you practically fondling the idea of putting me somewhere
just for that ima ollie out of here before you can get any further ahead of yourself
this is embarrassing
no subject
[Well, that's certainly a sword stuck through someone's chest.]
...
That isn't damaging you? [At least it doesn't look like it is? Though that also doesn't make any sense -]
no subject
Sup.]
Nah. It's pretty much the new fashion statement where I'm from.
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Are you a chimera?
[It would explain the wings and floaty tail on someone so humanoid, too. And there might just be a built in slot for the sword, maybe.]
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[Hahaha, man.]
I guess if it's easier to think of it that way, sure. The whole game is practically knocked up with greco roman references, so why stop there?
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When did Master Porky's scientists build you? I haven't seen you around before.
...
Game?
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...
What?
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Nobody built me, dude.
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[Nevermind, then.]
...
Then how did you obtain your upgrades?
[Wings and floatiness and surviving a sword through the chest totally count as upgrades to him okay]
This is probably the best awkward conversation I've ever threaded ever.
(He sort of... leans back in the air and crosses his arms above the sword.)]
Man. [These aren't things you just ask.] All right, pull up a chair, it's storytime.
So there was this princess, right? We'll call her Jade. She had a brother named John, who was a bit of a dumbass. Anyway, they were pretty much two out of the four people necessary for winning this eternally long bullshit war that I really don't feel like explaining right now. But, like I said, John was a dumbass, and he did dumbass things, like blast off in a rocket and basically getting himself eaten. For reasons that I still don't feel like explaining, this resulted in a meteor pummeling into Jade's tower like some sort of NFL quarterback in the first inning of the super bowl, and the bullshit war became unwinnable. With me so far?
Claus is a pro at causing those, it seems. |D
I believe so.
Jade was one of your warriors?
[Meteors aren't that much of a stretch. There's PK Starstorm, for example. Though he has got absolutely no idea what NFL stands for. He'll just chalk that up to another weird expression, like Davesprite rambling about writing down a lack of words earlier.]
I applaud him for putting up with any Dave for this long. Also for this guy's shitty story...
[Mm.]
Anyway, so even though the bullshit war was unwinnable, the other two chumps decided to keep playing the game so that they could get some pretty sweet upgrades and travel back to a time before John decided to be a dumbass in order to stop it from happening. Cheating the system, it was some pretty choice shit. Anyway, long story short, time shenanigans ensued, past-Dave was spared the pain and agony of having a useless asshole puppet for a spirit guide, and the rest is history.
Dave isn't the worst person he's talked to. I'm more surprised Dave is humouring him. |D
You know how to time travel like Master Porky?
no subject
You're more than just a bird version of Dave. You're your own person. And if anyone tries to turn you into a freakshow I would do some things I can't say in ear shot of children.
Oh my god I am so sorry.
Holy shit -- [Oh god. Someone please tell him there aren't any children within earshot.] -- what the hell happened with just walking on up and shaking a dude's hand. Sup, man, nice shades, how's the weather up there? Jesus, you have no idea how close I just came to crapping myself, in spite of the puzzling question of a sprite's ability to actually crap himself.
Hey it's fine xD Her cousin is Cal so her interactions with Daves are interesting xD
Sorry I have a tendency to slap people upside the head when they say something so blatantly wrong about themselves.
Especially when they are sort of alternate-universe family.
It's probably safe to say most interactions with Daves are interesting.
[Please do not take notice that he is blatantly not addressing the first part.]
God damn it, you'd think we didn't already have enough issues, between ectobiological shenanigans, paradox clones, and alternate timelines.
Pretty much. I have a blind!Dave I haven't done much with.
Don't think the conversation about what you said is over. No faking being aloof for you.
[She shrugs.]
Hey honestly I think I'm the one in the weirder situation. Before I came here I though you and your Bro were just puppets.
... that sounds... utterly fascinating =O
Because he is so, so doing it right now.]
... what? Wait. At least tell me that you weren't picturing puppets of the plush variety.
Hey if you want to plot some time I can give you my AIM I don't know enough Homestuck rpers
Don't pretend you've got selective hearing or I'll make sure you're listening.
[She nodded.]
Yeah you two in puppet form are my cousin's favorites.
=O I know a good number of 'em!
(These are wings. Flapping. Very ungracefully. He doesn't want to talk about thissss.)]
If you think I'm perfectly functional with a goddamn sword turning me into some kind of living crow kabob, do you think getting my ear ripped off is going to stop me?! Damn it.
Well if you want my AIM for plotting purposes let me know ^^
It's getting you to pay attention, isn't it?
no subject
though it has been a while since she used it
also i would love a davesprite plushie
can u imagine how cute thatd be
cutest damn plushie ever
then i could throw a davesprite plushie at davesprite's head when hes being a dumbass
thats some irony right?
hit u upside the head with irony
only fitting
for ur dumbassery right now
no subject
or chicks if chicks are her thing
also did i miss the memo for lets beat the hell out of davesprite day or something
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u use it so u can sound all demonic so u can scare off douchebags
gotta use the right tools for the right job
n u put up the memo
going on about how ur not real dave
that is bullshit
timeline alternates not being real is utter bullshit
time isnt a copy machine
ur not some xeroxed dave
hes not all color while ur that crappy black and white with the black blobs that are supposed to be text
but u cant read because the copy machine sucks
ur the time guy u should kno time isnt a sucky copy machine
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[Seriously what is this.]
im not the time guy anymore remember
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no one said there has to be 1 time guy
pretty much proven to theres a bunch of them anyway so we can have all the time guys
maybe u dont got the powers anymore hell if i kno
but u did so u should get it
different timeline doesnt make u less real
cause lets be honest
we got a lot of timelines going on here that shouldnt be mixing but are n people are still alive
whose in a place to say whats real and what isnt if only one timeline is real
no subject
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man i was wondering when i was going to run into one of you guys
no subject
D --> It is not that hard to run into one of us
D --> Though I believe that I am the only Equius here
no subject
some words, anyway.
don't you have to be dead to be taxidermied?
[… he may be trying to be helpful. it's hard to tell.]