canon is jesus christ superstar.

[ligyrophobia]

Moments after my betrayal, and you pull me forwards. What could you possibly want from me? My mind is anywhere else but here.

And what more could you expect?

I found him and I marked him; I felt his tears against my cheek, I let them push me aside and I watched as they spun him around and handcuffed him. I had made up my mind, though his expression forced me to doubt my certainty.

_{[ but - he was trying to help! and oh so vehement in his response to the question he'd refused to ask. ]}

I did my best, I offered him a chance - so many chances! He refused to listen! What was I to do?! They saw him as their ticket into heaven, as a God to preach to and pray to, not as a man and a man was all he was!

_{[ quietly: ]}

They used him, but I can't help but wonder whether I too have been used.