On looking at exitvoid...

[batterthanyou]

So...let me get this straight. You finally decided to stop being such a chickenshit and actually consider a horror game? Really?

Well fuckin' A, you bet your ass I'm interested! Honestly, it's about fucking time you grew a pair. This place sounds right up my alley. I mean, killing things is my job after all. ...though I'm not looking forward to the massive chance that I will get my shit fucked up, but it's whatever. Shit happens. Better than sitting around here bored with my thumb up my ass.

Any~way, chop chop, dickweed. Start working on that application before my bat starts working on your skull. I'm not about to let you puss out on me this time. And no, I don't give a shit if you're just "considering" this place or not.

I'm bored; fix it.

Comments

[rippedoff]

Let me make it clear right now: I don't want to know anything about your sex life. But even so? I'm pretty sure it would be batshit insane for anyone to sleep with those things -- even you.

I mean it's stupid. If I got my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid, he'd have another thing coming.

[Just don't ask how the hell she knows this much about a song that she thinks is stupid.]

[batterthanyou]

Oh my god, are you fucking serious? I could dismember a man and then rip out his intestines and you wouldn't bat an eye, but the second I mention sex you're all like "ewww gross". What are you, a mentally-scarred twelve year old?

And no, it's fucking awesome. I mean, Lady Gaga isn't as good as Ke$ha or Britney, but she's pretty high up there.

[rippedoff]

In case you forgot? I'm an assassin; I see that kind of thing just about every day. But as far as that other stuff goes? That's private crap and I don't really don't give a shit about knowing about it.

[Such a judging look from this one.] Okay, maybe I could see Britney if you're one for nostalgia, but Ke$ha, really? She's pretty much what I'd imagine would be the result if a train wreck could have offspring.

1/2

[batterthanyou]

There's a difference between not giving a shit and not wanting to know i-

[It takes a few seconds, but slowly Bad Girl's drunken mind starts to process an idea...]

I'M SO SORRY

[batterthanyou]

[And once she does, the rage she was about to express at having her favorite singer mocked completely goes away. Instead, she grins from ear to ear.]

Oh my god, you're a virgin, aren't you?

IT'S OKAY, this conversation was bound to come up anyway

[rippedoff]

That's none of your business! And even if it was? I'm twenty-one and I was curious at some point in my life. [Granted, it was probably just some shallow affair in her high school days, back when she was still trying to pretend to be normal.]

True enough, give Bad Girl and inch and she'll take a mile

[batterthanyou]

[Totally ignoring all that "bullshit" so she can continue giggling like a 12 year old. And once she finishes....]

You do realize that's basically the equivalent of saying "yes Bad Girl I'm totally still a virgin".

Which is even more fucking hysterical when you realize who you had a crush on. Hoping to score a Touchdown?

[rippedoff]

Think what you want; I don't really give a shit either way.

And I'm telling you, I'm over that loser. The only touchdowns he's gonna score is with that ranking agent. Well, at least until she gets tired of him.

[He had his chance and like hell Shinobu was going to give him another, even if she still held a certain admiration for him.]

[batterthanyou]

Oh don't worry; I will.

And yeah, that's true. I dunno what the dick they see in each other, but I guess love really is blind.

And drunk. And fucking retarded. Or maybe it's just got a weird sense of humor. Hell if I know, though.

[rippedoff]

Yeah, hell if I know either. I lost track of what was important, for a while, and there's no way I'm letting any of that stupid crap get in my way again.

[batterthanyou]

Just don't get a fucking stick up your ass, alright? I hear those are a bitch to pull out and I don't want to have to deal with you at this new place if you're going to be little miss fun-killer.

[rippedoff]

Gimme a break, I have my own fun too, but that doesn't mean that I need to know everyone's TMI life stories.

[batterthanyou]

You have fun, huh? And just what exactly do you do for fun?

[rippedoff]

Come on, you're an assassin too; do you really need to ask?

[batterthanyou]

Besides fighting and killing, dipshit.

[rippedoff]

Uuuusually I'm training to do even better at fighting and killing, along with the occasional downtime.

[She is dead set on surpassing Travis' level, okay.]

[batterthanyou]

Sooooo basically what you're saying is you don't have fun. At all.

Or you don't know what fun is.

[rippedoff]

I do, but I don't make it a priority.

Not to mention? There's not a whole hell of a lot else to do on a boat.

[batterthanyou]

Okay. See, when I show up to this game? I'm pulling that stick out of your ass. You and I are going to have fun if it kills...well, not us, but probably someone else.

[rippedoff]

If it does kill someone, it better have been worth the effort. [Because killing gimps just wasn't her style, sorry to say.] But fine, if nothing else, there's going to be some sort of city soon; wouldn't hurt to see what's out there.

[batterthanyou]

Heheh, we'll have ourselves a little girl's night out. Sounds like a plan to me.

[Not a single doubt it will end horribly.]

Hoping it doesn't disappoint, though. Would be pretty fucking pissed if all this excitement wasn't worth the hype.

[rippedoff]

Guess it'd be rude of me to deny you at least that much.

[And probably result in a lot of facepalms from Shinobu, unless a lot of alcohol was involved.]

Hard to say what it's gonna be like now, but if there's going to presumably be huge monsters to take on somewhere? At least that'll keep us entertained.

[batterthanyou]

Uh, schyeah. It'd be rude as all hell. Might have to bash your pretty little face in just get over it.

[It's...kinda hard to tell if she's joking or if she's completely serious.]

You gotta point there. Think it'll be scary?

To us, I mean.

[rippedoff]

If you try to do anything to my face, you've got another one coming; it's hard work looking this good while kicking ass, you know.

[Serious or not, Shinobu keeps it light enough to not be a serious threat.]

What? Is the Bad Girl afraid of a couple of monsters? That's cute, but someone else is gonna tuck you in at night.

Maybe Henry will do it.

[batterthanyou]

Ooo, I'm so scared! Totally shaking in my five-inch heels.

[Except not. She's too lazy to even make a mock gesture of fear.]

And I'm just fucking asking. God forbid I want to be fucking scared in a horror game. Everything that tries to kill you eventually gets boring when you know you can just kill it, so something that could make me legitimately terrified would be welcomed with opened arms.