Reserved at vatheon

[embellisher]

Of all the places you could have chosen, it's one that's under the ocean.

A city under the ocean.

Under the ocean.

Let me repeat that one more time just in case you missed it: under the ocean.

Do you know what the ocean is? Here, let me describe it in two words: Liquid. Suffering. You don't put dwarves in oceans. They don't do very well down there. Me included.

You, messieur mun, are a sadistic, evil woman.

On the plus side, the Dwarven Merchant Guild isn't there. I'll give you that. It's a very big plus indeed.

...actually it might not be so bad down there after all. Sign me up.

Comments

[embellisher]

[Oh Hawke, he'd knew you'd understand! You always understand him. That's why his best stories are always about you.]

No tail here.

[He even turns around as proof.]

No drowning either. I'm too charming to die. It's supposed to be some kind of city protected by some kind of magic sea thing to keep the water out.

[wittydiplomacy]

Sounds... wonderful and do keep trying to be charming, I wouldn't like it if you died without me. [Wherever will the rest of the world hear about her stories of heroism?

Not that she ever cared for it but, it is what Varric does best.]

And yes, magic. I should hope it's the kind of that actually lasts. [Though it should since Hawke isn't there and--] ...This city, it's not a prison for some devastatingly ugly and creepy Darkspawn, yes?

[embellisher]

No darkspawn, though I hear there's some interesting people there. [Who should provide plenty of inspiration.] And uh, about the magic thing...apparently right now there's a thing going on where the barrier is weakening and the citizens there are trying to fix it.

It fills me with nothing but confidence, let me tell you.

[wittydiplomacy]

Of course, it does.

[A beat.]

You do remember how to hold your breath, Varric? And swim? Bianca would be heartbroken if you don't.

[embellisher]

You wound me, Hawke. Of course I remember.

[Whether he'll still remember when he's terrified and trapped Maker-knows-how-many feet under the sea is another matter entirely.]

I'll even punch a fish or two on my way back up to the surface

[wittydiplomacy]

Please do. I hear if you punch sharks on the eyes, they flee.

[Not that she's tried herself but, any advice is better than none.]

[embellisher]

I'll keep that in mind. Don't wait up for me, I'll be back in Kirkwall in time for evening drinks.

[wittydiplomacy]

Don't worry about that, you know we could never start without you. Who else would exaggerate the things we did earlier for entertainment?

Anders? Fenris? Maybe Isabella and Merrill's more likely to get herself lost within moments of starting.

And don't get me started on what Sebastian might do. [Probably spin some tale about Andraste and how they should attend the Chant more often. Or something.]

[embellisher]

And someone has to keep an eye on all of you.

[Seriously, he could just look away for one second and they would be attacked by street thugs.]

What would you do without me?

[wittydiplomacy]

Run around blind with arrows and spells being thrown about at our heads? [A quick flashing grin.]

Watch Isabella attempt to drink everyone under the table long enough to sing bawdy pirate songs, dance jigs and take off their smalls for inspection?

[Not sure that it happened but, it does sound like something that might occur without her, Aveline or Varric there--or just without her and Aveline. It's hard being the (somewhat) straitlaced person of the group.]

Must I go on?