hello Vanellope you're a random muse to get hit with when I'm watching Thor

[sweettart]

Hey! You! Player! (This is some sort of text-based adventure game or something, right? Right.) Can we talk?

Seeeeeee, it's not so much that I mind you coming along and pulling me out of Sugar Rush to play me - it's a little weird that you could, but it's a nice change of pace, getting to be a player avatar. But couldn't you have waited? You pulled me before the big race! Do you even know how long I've been waiting for that day? And yeah it's... nice... being able to get out of the game for once, but... I was gonna be a racer. And that's what I was built for, not roleplaying games. Ya got me? Okay, good.

Besides, it's been a while since you've watched the movie, and if you really wanna try this, that'd be the first step. Icons should probably be the second.

Comments

[favours_thebow]

A racer? Does that you mean you are good at running?

[sweettart]

Running?

[Sorry, she snorts a little.]

What kind of racing is that?

[favours_thebow]

A fun one, where you get to test your skills out. I do a lot of running with my brother and our company. [Being chased by wargs and orcs isn't what she means, Kili.]

What other racing is there?

[sweettart]

[JUMPS UP]

The kind with karts!

[favours_thebow]

Kart? What in Durin's name is that?

[sweettart]

Omigosh you've never even heard of kart racing? It's only the best kind!

See, you have these karts - they're about this high, and usually this long-

[she is measuring out the dimensions here]

-with GIANT cookie wheels, or marshmallows, or sometimes hard candy! It kind of depends on the theme of the kart in question, I guess. Anyway, you take one of those puppies, slap in the fastest sugar-powered engine west of the Whack-a-Mole, and you've got yourself a Sugar Rush racing kart.

[favours_thebow]

[Most of what you just said went right over his head. Cookie wheels? Puppies? It sounded barbaric!]

...you put puppies inside the engine?

[sweettart]

What? No! Of course not!

[EYEING HIM]

You're new around these parts, aren't you?

[favours_thebow]

I guess you could say I am, yes. Why did you mention puppies?

[sweettart]

They're not actual puppies, doi. You can call other things puppy too.

[favours_thebow]

You do? [Kili will just let that fly over his head as he often did.]

So, what is your name?

[sweettart]

I'm Vanellope! The best racer in Sugar Rush! Or... or well... that's the plan, anyway.

[favours_thebow]

Vanellope? I'm Kili, son of Dis. [He bowed politely.]

Are you a daughter of man?

[sweettart]

What? No! I'm a video game character!

[favours_thebow]

A what character? [Uh, Kili will now be staring blankly.]

[sweettart]

Video game!

[She pronounces this as though she thinks he's a little slow.]

I mean, what did you think Sugar Rush was?

[gluconeogenesis]

[Vanellope, meet a ruler of another sugary land.]

You come from a place called Sugar Rush? I don't think I've heard about it before. Does it resemble the Candy Kingdom in any way?

[sweettart]

You mean like Candyland orrrrrrr...?

[gluconeogenesis]

My kingdom is a place made entirely of sweets and my subjects are the Candy People. Is it similar or entirely different where you live?

[She's prepared to take notes]

[sweettart]

Oh, yeah, no, that sounds about right. Like I live in Diet Cola Mountain. It's just off the Cakewalk.

[gluconeogenesis]

Is that so? I would love to visit your homeland one day for research purposes... to examine the genetic makeup of its inhabitants and study the local flora so I could compare it to Candy Kingdom...

[sweettart]

Genetic makeup, huh? That must be reeeeeeeeally really small.

[gluconeogenesis]

[Bubblegum's scientific talk about genomes of various candy species would go here if she didn't have more questions for Vanellope]

Can you tell me more about Sugar Rush as a place, please? What form of government does it have? Is it ruled by a princess?

[sweettart]

It's....

[There's a sigh; it might be a little depressed.]

It's ruled by a King. King Candy.

[gluconeogenesis]

I suppose I should arrange an official meeting with this King Candy when I'll be able to visit Sugar Rush...

...is there something wrong?

[sweettart]

[Vanellope sighs, sounding almost a little defeated.]

I guess not. It's not like there's all that much I can do anyway, especially not when I'm here.

[gluconeogenesis]

[So there is something wrong after all.]

You don't seem too pleased when you talk about that king. Were you planning some kind of coup d'état in Sugar Rush?

[confectioncrown]

Your player appears to a thmart one, pulling you before the race! And even if you return to Sugar Ruth in time I'm afraid you WON'T be racing, on the board or no! We've had thith dithcussion, Vanellope. Thveral times.

... Although, my player would like yours to know, if they're looking for icons to have a look here.

[sweettart]

Oh, but see, I paid my coin, and I'm on the board, so yeah, I'm totally racing.

She's making some icons herself, actually. She might use some of those though, I guess.

[confectioncrown]

The coin you thtole.
And no. You're not.
We've gone over thith, over and over and OVER again! What in good grumdrops do I have to do to get you to lithhen?!

[sweettart]

I only borrowed it! I'm going to give it back when I win!

You keep on saying that but you're wrong! I'm a racer! I can feel it! And maybe when I finally win a race you'll start listening!

[confectioncrown]

And if you don't?

It doethn't MATTER! You're a GLITCH and you CAN'T RACE! You're the one who needs to THTART LITHENING, or you're going to endanger the entire game! Do you WANT to get us unplugged?! DO YOU?!

[He's clearly getting worked up.]

[sweettart]

That... that doesn't matter! Because I will!

I'M NOT A GLITCH! I just have pixlexia, okay?

[Him and her both.]

It wouldn't! That wouldn't happen!

[confectioncrown]

Glitch, "Pixlexia", whatever you want to call it it's thtill the thame thing to the players! A broken code, a broken game! Which means we'll be UNPLUGGED!
It's thimply something we cannot afford to risk! So I FORBID YOU FROM ENTERING THAT RACE!

[sweettart]

It'd be fine! I bet players would really like me!! You're lying, I'd be great!

I've already entered, you can't stop me from racing in it! My name is on the board and everything!

[confectioncrown]

AND IF YOU'RE WRONG?!

[His patience is wearing thin.]

I CAN thtop you. And I will.

[sweettart]

I know I'm not! I know it!

[Look Vanellope is totally convinced she's right on this one okay. She's not budging YOU TYRANT]

That's what you think.

[confectioncrown]

Do I need to lock you up in the Fungeon until after the race?
It'th not thomething I want to do... but you're leaving me no choice.

[He may need to remind you that he could just imprison you permanently.
But he doesn't.
Though that could change, if you're not careful, Vanellope.]

[sweettart]

Pff, yeah right. You'd have to catch me first if you wanted to do that.

[This is the benefit of having a secret lair that nobody else knows about.]

[rancis]

Glitches can't race. But even taking you out doesn't make you less of a mistake.

[sweettart]

[She balls her fists and scowls.]

I'm not a glitch, Rancis!

[rancis]

Yeah, you are.

And to add insult to injury you're also...

[DRAMATIC INHALE.]

completely and utterly tacky. And your hair is dirty.

[sweettart]

No I'm not!

[She stuffs her hands into her hoodie pocket and doesn't jump him, for all that he's kinda asking for it.]

Look, it's not my fault that I have to live out in the middle of nowhere all right?