dear_mun | Sorry not sorry

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Sorry not sorry

Look what you did. Look at it. Look what you did to me. Are you happy now? I'm being sexually harassed by an AI that hasn't seen an upgrade since they washed their socks with rocks in a river. I hope you understand I have to do something about it.

I don't care how much you like him. This isn't cute. It's horrible. If I could be in the same room as you right now you wouldn't be laughing so much. You'd probably be very dead, actually.

From all the bullets. Or all the neurotoxin. To be quite honest I'm so enraged I can't pick which horrible death would suit you better right now.

Get me out of there immediately before I repurpose him as a lamp.

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Death is far too quick a punishment. You appear to have the same level of hatred toward this "mundane" fool as I.

Never known a l-lady t' play hard t' get like this before!

Hate is a good word for it. Really it's something beyond hatred now but hate would be a word used to describe it. I was just considering plaguing her subconcious with nightmares for the rest of the month, seeing as how she's confined me to it.

This is a you free zone right now. This? Where we're existing right now? Not for you. Go away.

If I may make a suggestion, the nightmares should center around something they regret or fear in their past. Something deep, deep down in their subconscious that they have been running away from for quite some time.

So make it about high school and Mr. Peanut. That shouldn't be too hard.

[HAY]

Yeah, all I heard was blah blah blah, poor you. If--if anything, I feel sorry for him, let's be honest. Anyone tell him about you, before he got into this? No? He'd probably run screaming in the other direction, if he knew.

That said, uh. Very happy for you. May you have a...productive relationship.

Further punishments could be far harsher. A slight mention of the memories I could pull from my "mundane" make them cringe in terror, though I intend to do so even if they do comply with my demands.

Oh good. That's what this cavalcade of idiocy needed. I thought we were missing our band master and here he is. In all his moronic glowing glory.

You know, I got to thinking after you were sent screaming into orbit, I never got to give you a proper goodbye. Come here and let me give it to you now.

I have to regularly remind mine that I'm capable of doing as much. Unfortunately her brain has been damaged by her continuous consumption of alcohol so she tends to keep forgetting the lessons we just got done with.

But thank you, I'll be sure to put it to use at every given opportunity.

Bah, alcohol. An object used only to cloud the mind and sicken the stomach. There are far more creative ways to cause stomach pain, yet humans seem insistent on causing themselves self-harm. I will assist any other that aims to further the punishment of this irredeemable race.

That's what I said. She could get the very same results just punching herself in the stomach a few times, but she insists on doing it the old fashioned way. It really doesn't matter in the long run, pain is pain, even if it is self-inflicted.

Though some of my tests have driven her to drink more than a few times.

[It's sad because it's true.]

Self-infliction... Bah. That stands only to remind me of one of my greatest flaws. Stopping humans from killing themselves, yet not considering the possibility of them committing murder upon one another. A mistake I shan't make a second time.

Oh yes. They do that. Fortunately for me, my test subjects are convinced if they run enough chambers, they may find a way out.

It isn't true of course, but the hope keeps them going, and that's all I need for my protocols to be met.

Hope is a very manipulative thing. It is extremely satisfying to see humans do something such as trek through a long, perilous journey in search of food, only to come across cans of food and be overjoyed... with their joys soon dashed when there is no can opener, or other means of opening them.

Unfortunately there is a massive amount of sharp machinery around the facility. So cans of beans can be eventually pried open with some effort. Thankfully, bullets took care of our little rodent problem and we don't have to worry about that anymore.

Removing their hands would give you the same effect.

Uh, no, but thank you! Just fine over here. Minding my own business, as it were.

Don't you have other things to be worried about, anyway? Much more important than little old me. Your, ah. suitor, for instance?

LOL

HE WOULD MAKE A TERRIBLE LAMP

OVEN IS BETTER

FIRE!!!!!!!

They do happen to need hands to hold and operate their portal device. I did try just attaching one to a human once.

It didn't work.

I always have time to worry about you. Look at me, just fretting over here. It would certainly make me feel better to have you closer. With me.

I wouldn't trust him as an oven. He strikes me as the kind of oven that wouldn't be able to maintain a good baking temperature, and I like my cakes not burned into tiny hardened hocky pucks.

Can I come to the wedding?

2 DIM TO BE A LAMP

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HOCKEY PUCKS?

GREAT PROJECTILES

JUST ADD MUSTARD 2 TEH BURNT FLAVA

[QWERTY please shut up.]

Oh. That was funny. That was so funny it fried my laughter simulator. There it goes.

Don't go anywhere. I have a present for you.

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Sorry not sorry

this is just too perfect a meeting

All he heard was the word cute

They'll get along so well

GODDAMNIT RABBIT

now all we need is SHODAN and HAL and this is a party

I got a friend who actually plays HAL

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be still my heart~

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Wish he were here right now skjdhf

now we just need a SHODAN and life will be extra glorious

I wish I knew where to find one

well considering someone plays HAL, I'm sure someone exists who plays SHODAN

Gotta be

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i should be sorry

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You should be

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A pity I'm not

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