Canon is Iron Druid Chronicles, apping to outer_divide

[hatesthormost]

I have no idea what you think this will accomplish, or why you seem to believe it will be amusing.

Especially considering the timeframe you wish to, as they say "pull me from".

Comments

/dusts him off, props him up, let's have a go :D

[ironbounddruid]

Oh you'd be surprised what they find amusing around here.

This meeting for example. Depending on the time frame is either going to go very poorly or only slightly awkwardly.

YAY! 8D

[hatesthormost]

Thor is there, as well as a different you.

The last I recall you were naked in the snow of Asgard and I was preoccupied with a duel.

[ironbounddruid]

As well as the comic book Thor and movie version Thor and all the Thors you can shake a stick at I would imagine. Not to mention all the other pantheons and different versions of them. It's...actually not that different from home really.

[Atticus shrugs.]

Sounds about right...so awkward it is then. I think in order to avoid paradoxes I'm just going to keep it all to myself. You should feel special though, I got woken up just for you.

[hatesthormost]

Good. I can use them for practice.

[Nothing like using a Thor to practice for... Thor.]

Perhaps you should sleep slightly less often then, if you needed waking at my presence.

[loveshishammer]

I believe it is a method of tormenting us. In this case, especially tormenting me.

[Have a hangdog look from Thor, because he read that plurk conversation, yes indeed he did.]

[hatesthormost]

[He is trying very very hard not to rip your throat out Thor.]

You are lucky I do not have a weapon at the moment.

[loveshishammer]

[The godling holds up his hands peaceably, still looking put upon. As much as he'd love a fight that's an actual challenge, he is kind of attached to the whole living thing.]

You know very well that it is not I who wronged you.

[hatesthormost]

[Oh, he'd give you a challenge alright.]

That matters little. You are still Thor and fully capable of doing such again given the opportunity, removing the threat you pose would only be a service to the universe.

[loveshishammer]

I am not capable of fullscale murder of innocents!

[He pauses at that, realizes it isn't exactly true, looks guilty, and adds,]

All right, perhaps at one point I might have been. But I have learned that lesson! War is a horrible thing that should be avoided. I know that now.

[hatesthormost]

It was not war.

[Angry Vampire Viking Lawyer mode is go!]

It was nothing more than a moment's entertainment for you because you wanted to see what I would do.

[loveshishammer]

[Thor frowns in confusion.]

That does not sound like me at all. There was always a purpose, even when I sought out battle above all else. If you are not an enemy of my people nor someone who harms the innocent, I should have no quarrel with you.

[hatesthormost]

The corpses of my wife and sons say much differently than your... your words. They will not change what was done nor the thousand years I spent preparing for the day I would face you in combat for what was done.

[fotlenke]

What would cause such a handsome face to carry such a dark countenance?

[hatesthormost]

There are a number of reasons not to look on the world as a bright and safe place.

[fotlenke]

Aye, but it is not wise to think so of the world constantly.

[hatesthormost]

The paranoid are the ones who survive the longest.

[fotlenke]

Aye, but rarely, without misery and lost youth.

[hatesthormost]

Growing to adulthood does that as well, should we all remain incomplete children then?

[fotlenke]

Nej, but we should be able to look forward with joy in our hearts.

[hatesthormost]

What joy I had was taken, struck down by mine own folly.

[fotlenke]

The joy lives within your heart. But will you open your heart to let the joy free?

[hatesthormost]

My heart died long ago, and the joy within it as well. I take fondness in smaller things now.

[fotlenke]

I see a heart. Do not lie. You just have not used it as of late.

[hatesthormost]

You cannot use something that does not function.

[fotlenke]

[ She beckons to him. ] The daughter of Freya says differently. Even the hounds of Hel feel love.

[hatesthormost]

[He's totally okay with chilling with her.] Can that which has been destroyed by the son of Odin be restored?

[fotlenke]

[ She shakes her head. ] The heart is strong. It may bend. It may break. It may burn. But it shall never leave, lest you physically remove your heart all the same. [ She steps forward, chin raised, a proud advocate of love and heart. ] No god can take your heart. They may try, but they only take air.

[hatesthormost]

My heart has not beat in a thousand years, the love it held has turned to grief tempered with anger to a blade to slay the one who struck it down.

[fotlenke]

Your heart beats. [ She outstretches an arm to him, closing her eyes. ] Listen.

[hatesthormost]

[He has no idea what she's hoping to find, but if a goddess wants to touch you you let her. He's... very much so not human or alive in the traditional sense. Have fun figuring it out..]

...I was being literal.

[fotlenke]

[ Her eyes open and and she presses her fingers to his chest where his heart should lay beneath flesh. ]There is a heart. [ But no beat. But even so, Sigyn can tell that it will one day beat. She clucks her tongue, then reaches up and tweaks the man's nose. ]

You lied. You said you had no heart.

[hatesthormost]

[He will not glare at a goddess for tweaking his nose.

He will however heave a sigh. The only way his heart will likely beat again is if he becomes human once more. A tricky feat.]

I said it was ruined and did not function, it is still there. That much I do not deny.

[wisdom_of_hounds]

You've got to be kidding me.

[Druid is so not amused, Leif. Hope you're prepared to be unbound, old friend.]

If this is amusing your mun has a twisted sense of humor.

[hatesthormost]

I fail to see why I need to be joking about this.

[Give him a moment Atticus, he's got no idea.]

Yes, she does. Considering she finds the notion of flesh burrowing cardinals hysterical among other things.

[wisdom_of_hounds]

Because I really don't want to think about what this means if you're serious.

[Grumpy? Maybe a little. He kind of really wants you dead right now but he knows it won't do any good so he's restraining himself.]

Wait... cardinals? I've heard of catfish but... cardinals?

[hatesthormost]

I fail to see how my level of seriousness has an effect on the situation.

[Hey now, if anything he should be grumpy at you! You're the one that can change planes of existence here.]

Cardinals. They are birds of north america, the males of which are a distinctive bright red. They are apparently capeable of homicide.

[wisdom_of_hounds]

If you were joking I could maybe hold some hope that this isn't actually happening.

[He's not the one that almost got you killed. And after saving your sorry ass from being really dead not just undead. Fat lot of good that plane shifting thing's been doing him.]

I know what a cardinal is, thanks. It's the "flesh-burrowing" part that's throwing me. I haven't heard of anything like that from songbirds.

[hatesthormost]

I am, unfortunately, serious about this.

[But he hasn't had his head exploded yet... and is kind of getting the whole 'you're mad at him' vibe now.]

I also have not heard you to hold a grudge. How, may I ask, have I urinated in your breakfast cereal?

[wisdom_of_hounds]

Unfortunately... yeah, I'll say.

[Good, if he gets his head exploded again Atticus can make sure he does not put him back together again.]

It's "pissed in my cheerios", Leif. If you're going to do it you can't formalize it like that. [His usual amusement at your language fail is rather nonexistent at the moment, though. Still it's easier to correct you than get into the mechanics of this stupid time paradox thing.]

[hatesthormost]

I can formalize what I wish to when I wish to, they have tee shirts with suits painted on them now.

[Yep, now he's actually concerned.]

I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.

[wisdom_of_hounds]

[He's just glaring at you now, Leif. No, Shakespeare duels were fun things that he did with his friend. You ruined it. Good job.]

You should've thought about that before you tried to get us all killed for your damned political games.

[hatesthormost]

What...?

[And so he's just going to give Atticus a look like he's suddenly begun hopping about in a bright green suit and hat telling everyone that children are after his marshmallow filled death cereal.]

The last I saw you, we were in Asgard. You were naked in snow and we had pushed your shoulder back together. I was a moment away from killing Thor.

Now I'm here, and you are claiming I have tried to kill you because of a game?

Atticus, I would not act against you unless it was the delivery of my unwilling corpse to your doorstep.

I'm so sorry bb this week has been hell

[wisdom_of_hounds]

Vampire politics are all games, Leif. And what you pulled while we were in Osinalice was- [There's a fleeting moment, a shift in his expression like he wants to be able to think of a better way to phrase this but sometimes these American kids just had the best ways of putting things.] a douche move.

[He's not entirely sure how this time paradox is working but it's a little heartbreaking to see his friend again, see him as he had known him for years after the betrayal of the last weeks. His paranoia won't let him trust it at all though. Not when it had been such a near thing that Dr. Flores had been able to keep Oberon alive. Not when he'd charmed Granuaile.]