PSL: for fun and...no profit.

[tobewild]

You've got a Thing for trauma, haven't you? Yeah, I've been talking to some people about this, including my other selves, which would be weirder if I didn't know they were in your head and not mine, you know. I mean, I'd think you got off on it or something but you don't get off on anything so-- See, I know better! I learn.

Speaking of learning, with how many musical instruments am I vaguely competent exactly? Just out of curiosity. I'm legitimately interested in knowing these kinds of things. About myself. Also about other people but knowing thing about other people isn't as helpful right now.

Also, that was funny, the idea way back about getting me picked up by the police so a grumpy old man has to watch all my cats for the night, except for the part where I'm not a real person in the legal system so let's not do that. Ever. Preferably. I like this not having a shadow thing. Like I'm Peter fucking Pan. You stop growing up when you're legally dead, you know? My shadow can float off and have it's own life for all I fucking care. We'll get together for drinks every so often and I can catch up on where I'd be and what kind of shit I'd be dealing with if I hadn't made the best decision of my fucking life and I can pat the shadow man on the shoulder an--

Yeah, it should be pretty good the first time somebody figures out that I should probably be on some sort of medication cocktail instead of an alcoholic one. Woo. Good luck the first time I go into a fit of the crazies, guys! I'm not usually that far gone, I swear.

Ta!
- R.

P.S. New idea for a game! How many of my new friends can I convince and/or sucker to adopt a cat?

Comments

[tobewild]

And I really do quite a lot to achieve my next hangover. [ As we are speaking of cynicism... ]

[protestation]

The bottle will not bring you peace in the end.

[tobewild]

That I strive toward an end, let alone one of peace, is but your own assumption, sir.

[protestation]

Stalling forever would be a terrible waste.

[tobewild]

Waste requires inherent value.

[protestation]

Every human has a value, you just need to utilize it.

[tobewild]

Keep saying that and maybe one of these days I'll believe you.

[protestation]

Your faith in me could easily be expanded to just faith in general.

[tobewild]

Faith in general is exponentially more likely to end in disappointment.

[protestation]

[ The fact that R never thinks he could be a disappointment never computes because he never thinks of it in that way. ]

So you'd live a life without hope?

[tobewild]

Well, to be frank, it's never done me much good personally but it sells well enough in paintings.

[protestation]

Perhaps you have never allowed it.

[tobewild]

We'll see.

[protestation]

It is likely they will get bored before we might find out.

[tobewild]

Well, we'll just have to see about that, too, won't we?

[protestation]

No cynical disbelief? You believe they might follow through?

[tobewild]

Whatever they do or don't it's a fifty-fifty situation, equal chance of positive or negative results. Leaving the option open that they might actually act as readily as they talk is as much pessimism as optimism, when you really think about it.

[protestation]

That they can undermine our free will so troubles me. There must be a way to fortify us both against their tendency towards drama.

[tobewild]

You do realize who we are, right? Fortification against drama is something like building a barricade made out of pillows.

[protestation]

[ Bitchface. ]

I don't intend to get entwined with any kind of drama.

[tobewild]

[ Trollface. ]

I'd wager most people don't intend for a great many things that happen in their lives.

[protestation]

Because they do not take care to avoid it.

[tobewild]

Consider the amount of energy you would have to expend on avoiding all drama. Now pause for effect and consider the many other ways you could be using that energy.

[protestation]

If I use my energy for a cause that means something then I am naturally avoiding anything else they might cook up.

[ Like, y'know, matters of the heart of which he doesn't have one. ]

[tobewild]

[ Blank stare. ]

Having full control over your environment and thereby your life generally involves being a dead. That or being a hermit and hermits don't have causes. Unless you count being left alone.

[protestation]

[ He's King of Left Alone and also has a dozen causes. You're talking to the wrong person. ]

I can choose which environments to find myself in.

[tobewild]

Enjolras. [ He's calling you by name? He must be serious. ] The existence of other people affects your environment in ways you can neither predict nor fully control. So long as you keep the company of the living, your control is always at least 50% imagined.

[protestation]

All this arguing because I simply will not let myself be weakened and put upon by these mundanes? Surely some other need might grab your attention.

[tobewild]

Is that need expected to grab my attention away from my realism regarding these powers that be or from the habit of inciting the idealist to argument?

[protestation]

[ Holding his gaze for a moment. ]

No power has complete control. What would be the point of living if you could not fight it?

[tobewild]

[ A sigh. Then he drags a hand over his face with a laugh. ]

You may be asking the wrong person that question.

[protestation]

They continue to throw us together and yet we don't see eye to eye. Why is that?

[tobewild]

Someone has to be your devil's advocate. [ And someone almost failed to bite that off before adding something ridiculous like "sweetheart" to the end of it. ]

[protestation]

Am I the devil then?