PSL: for fun and...no profit.

[tobewild]

You've got a Thing for trauma, haven't you? Yeah, I've been talking to some people about this, including my other selves, which would be weirder if I didn't know they were in your head and not mine, you know. I mean, I'd think you got off on it or something but you don't get off on anything so-- See, I know better! I learn.

Speaking of learning, with how many musical instruments am I vaguely competent exactly? Just out of curiosity. I'm legitimately interested in knowing these kinds of things. About myself. Also about other people but knowing thing about other people isn't as helpful right now.

Also, that was funny, the idea way back about getting me picked up by the police so a grumpy old man has to watch all my cats for the night, except for the part where I'm not a real person in the legal system so let's not do that. Ever. Preferably. I like this not having a shadow thing. Like I'm Peter fucking Pan. You stop growing up when you're legally dead, you know? My shadow can float off and have it's own life for all I fucking care. We'll get together for drinks every so often and I can catch up on where I'd be and what kind of shit I'd be dealing with if I hadn't made the best decision of my fucking life and I can pat the shadow man on the shoulder an--

Yeah, it should be pretty good the first time somebody figures out that I should probably be on some sort of medication cocktail instead of an alcoholic one. Woo. Good luck the first time I go into a fit of the crazies, guys! I'm not usually that far gone, I swear.

Ta!
- R.

P.S. New idea for a game! How many of my new friends can I convince and/or sucker to adopt a cat?

Comments

[protestation]

You should stop adopting them if you have to make a game out of rehoming them.

[ Ignoring the grumpy and old comment, R. ] Peter Pan was a story for children, you are no longer a child.

[tobewild]

I don't have to make a game out of finding new homes. I could keep them all. Or I could start planting them in people's filing cabinets. Or I could stop taking care of cats and use the money for more booze.

[ Look. He struck out the old part. ...because only the grumpy part is true. ] Thanks for the advice, Captain Hook.

[protestation]

The menagerie is at least preferable to your apartment becoming a drunk tank. And I'm not Hook. [ Second leader of the Lost Boys, surely? ]

They'll tire of this idea soon, they always do.

[tobewild]

John Darling? You can take over whenever I'm not around and I figure you'd prefer to be John over Wendy. You know his middle name's Napoleon? [ Everyone surprised that R would know too much about Peter Pan, raise your hand. ]

You say this like you've got experience.

[protestation]

I don't believe in fairytales.

[ He never has, too serious a child and too serious an adult. ] Aren't you too old to believe in them too?

Mundanes are the same as every oppressor.

[tobewild]

Peter Pan isn't a fairytale except by the technicality of containing a fairy.

[ R never believed in fairytales for reasons having nothing to do with seriousness. ] Truth of it is, the Grimms offer far too much more morality than the real world for their stories to be anything but a fun read.

Are you going to start marching against them if they don't stop? Should I start painting you picket signs in my spare time?

[protestation]

You think a moral story is fun? [ A v of a frown working its way over his features. ] It should be enlightening, educating.

Can you march against God?

[tobewild]

I used to read them when I was a kid and think it would be great if the world worked that way. If all the bad people got what was coming to them and the good ones were rewarded just for being good. Except people aren't ultimately good or bad, are they? They're all grey areas and products of the products of the products of something from which they've actually disconnected themselves entirely. People are amorphous blobs of "morals" that are relative to themselves or their upbringing or their religion or whatever else they use to shape themselves into something they like or, better yet, the rest of the world likes.

[ Thre's a cleared throat, a pleasantly unreadable smile, and a simple shrug. ] That is what I got from them, in regards to enlightenment and education.

If anyone could march against God, I'd expect it to be you.

[protestation]

You have to believe in something for a fairytale to exist, you have to set aside what you know and hope. Neither of us are the hoping kind, certainly not someone as cynical as you. The world is a realism, you have to do to achieve.

[ As for the second bit, he doesn't acknowledge it. ]

[tobewild]

And I really do quite a lot to achieve my next hangover. [ As we are speaking of cynicism... ]

[protestation]

The bottle will not bring you peace in the end.

[tobewild]

That I strive toward an end, let alone one of peace, is but your own assumption, sir.

[protestation]

Stalling forever would be a terrible waste.

[tobewild]

Waste requires inherent value.

[protestation]

Every human has a value, you just need to utilize it.

[tobewild]

Keep saying that and maybe one of these days I'll believe you.

[protestation]

Your faith in me could easily be expanded to just faith in general.

[tobewild]

Faith in general is exponentially more likely to end in disappointment.

[protestation]

[ The fact that R never thinks he could be a disappointment never computes because he never thinks of it in that way. ]

So you'd live a life without hope?

[tobewild]

Well, to be frank, it's never done me much good personally but it sells well enough in paintings.

[protestation]

Perhaps you have never allowed it.

[tobewild]

We'll see.

[protestation]

It is likely they will get bored before we might find out.

[tobewild]

Well, we'll just have to see about that, too, won't we?

[protestation]

No cynical disbelief? You believe they might follow through?

[tobewild]

Whatever they do or don't it's a fifty-fifty situation, equal chance of positive or negative results. Leaving the option open that they might actually act as readily as they talk is as much pessimism as optimism, when you really think about it.

[protestation]

That they can undermine our free will so troubles me. There must be a way to fortify us both against their tendency towards drama.

[tobewild]

You do realize who we are, right? Fortification against drama is something like building a barricade made out of pillows.

[protestation]

[ Bitchface. ]

I don't intend to get entwined with any kind of drama.

[tobewild]

[ Trollface. ]

I'd wager most people don't intend for a great many things that happen in their lives.

[protestation]

Because they do not take care to avoid it.

[tobewild]

Consider the amount of energy you would have to expend on avoiding all drama. Now pause for effect and consider the many other ways you could be using that energy.

[protestation]

If I use my energy for a cause that means something then I am naturally avoiding anything else they might cook up.

[ Like, y'know, matters of the heart of which he doesn't have one. ]

[tobewild]

[ Blank stare. ]

Having full control over your environment and thereby your life generally involves being a dead. That or being a hermit and hermits don't have causes. Unless you count being left alone.

[protestation]

[ He's King of Left Alone and also has a dozen causes. You're talking to the wrong person. ]

I can choose which environments to find myself in.

[tobewild]

Enjolras. [ He's calling you by name? He must be serious. ] The existence of other people affects your environment in ways you can neither predict nor fully control. So long as you keep the company of the living, your control is always at least 50% imagined.

[protestation]

All this arguing because I simply will not let myself be weakened and put upon by these mundanes? Surely some other need might grab your attention.

[tobewild]

Is that need expected to grab my attention away from my realism regarding these powers that be or from the habit of inciting the idealist to argument?

[protestation]

[ Holding his gaze for a moment. ]

No power has complete control. What would be the point of living if you could not fight it?

[tobewild]

[ A sigh. Then he drags a hand over his face with a laugh. ]

You may be asking the wrong person that question.

[protestation]

They continue to throw us together and yet we don't see eye to eye. Why is that?

[tobewild]

Someone has to be your devil's advocate. [ And someone almost failed to bite that off before adding something ridiculous like "sweetheart" to the end of it. ]

[protestation]

Am I the devil then?