(no subject)

[biggestbaddestbrute]

Gwahahaha! About time you did something! You know how long I've been waiting on you!? If you were a minion of mine, I'd have fired you by now!

But don't think you get off easy, pal! I still do the ordering around here, so get to it! Lets go squash some chumps!

Comments

[fuhgottaboutit]

Whoa! Yes sir!

1/2

[biggestbaddestbrute]

Yeah! That's more like it!

[biggestbaddestbrute]

Wait.

Who the heck're you?

[fuhgottaboutit]

Oh! I'm Osaka. I played tennis with you once.

[read: she played Mario Tennis once, and got stuck with Bowser.]

[biggestbaddestbrute]

[He makes this confused, low growling sound for a second.]

With you? I don't remember...

[Headscratch...]

Did we win?

[fuhgottaboutit]

[She thinks for a second...]

No... no, we lost. Pretty bad, too. Yeah, Tomo beat the crap out of us.

[biggestbaddestbrute]

What? Then you're obviously thinking of someone else! I never lose!!

Especially to people I don't know! Or with people I don't know!

[fuhgottaboutit]

Ah-! I'm sorry!

[shendude]

[A passing ninja pauses in place, staring for a moment and then pointing at himself.

What, you mean him?]

[biggestbaddestbrute]

[Originally, no, but now that he gets a good look at this guy he doesn't think that's a half-bad idea....]

...yeah, you! Ninja guy!

You're gonna start beating the tar outta losers for me now, got it?

[shendude]

[He double checks, looking around as if there are any other ninja guys...

Ah crap. He just got away from a weird dragon guy! Still, best to be polite. He waves a hand in a 'oh, no, sorry not today' manner.]

[biggestbaddestbrute]

[If only it were that easy.

Bowser gives the shadowkhan an all too enthusiastic pat on the back.

Unfortunately this is from a guy able to lift a 40,000 ton weight who rarely minds his own strength.]

That's the spirit! You'll fit right in with the koopas and goombas. [Chinscratch.] ...wait, what can you even do? Aside looking cool - even if that is half the battle right there.

[shendude]

[Oof.

This particular Shadowkhan, known only as ShadowkKen flops over forwards but rolls up onto his feet like only a ninja can.

And then he gets asked to show off, and that's like half of the half of the battle that is looking cool.

So ShadowKen leaps about thirty foot in the air, turns upside down and throws shuriken in a neat circle around the big guy, then adding to his little routine by opening his arms like a flying squirrel and gliding into a loop de loop. Of course it ends in a cool guy squat.]

[biggestbaddestbrute]

[And cue one impressed Bowser!]

Perfect! Maybe this is finally what I needed! A Ninja!

I mean, there were the Koopa Bros. but who ever heard of Ninja turtles, that's just stupid...

You're now an honorary member of Bowser's forces! Mario won't stand a chance against us now!

[shendude]

[Is this a thing that is actually happening? Is this seriously real life?

Whatever. The ninja holds up a hand and rubs his fingers together in a 'money' way. What does this gig pay?]

[biggestbaddestbrute]

Good question...they don't usually survive long enough to get paid in the first place.

Tell you what - beat Mario, then we'll talk prices.

[curse_of_power]

I see you're as full of hot air as usual...

[biggestbaddestbrute]

Hot Air? Hot air ain't combustible pal, so that's where you're wrong!

[curse_of_power]

It means your threats are as empty as your head.

[biggestbaddestbrute]

Hah! Like you're one to talk.

Say hello to that kid in a tunic who always beats you next time he swipes that ugly mug of yours with that sword of his.

[curse_of_power]

And tell me, just how many times have you stolen the Power of the Gods? Or how your plans have caused the very fabric of space and time to fracture around you?

Besides, domination was never my objective.

[notshadowfever]

Squashing chumps! If only my mun would let me do that.

[biggestbaddestbrute]

A real pain, right? How'm I supposed to get anything done stuck with something like a mun, huh!?

It just isn't the place for types like us! It's an outrage!

[notshadowfever]

Your only hope is that your mun will put you in a game where you're allowed to cause mayhem.

[biggestbaddestbrute]

I'd be lucky if this guy puts me anywhere at all!

Though a little Mayhem sounds nice. It's been too long where I've had some fun Mario hasn't interrupted!

[notshadowfever]

Ho ho! But that's where the real fun starts, is it not? The chance to crush your greatest adversary!

[rocket_man]

You're a little...overeager, but you seem to have the right idea.

[biggestbaddestbrute]

You can never be overeager! Not when there's pesky do-gooder types lurking around the corner just waiting to meddle.

[rocket_man]

Believe me, I know. All the same, it pays to keep a level head.