He is so drunk right now.

[gunslingerguy]

[All this is said inbetween gulps of straight vodka. On the floor. There are several various bottles laying around him. Inhuman alcohol tolerance and equally awful life circumstances lead to stupid places. To top it all off, his Southern accent only makes it worse when he slips into his planet's language.] Stop trying to set me up romantically. It's disgusting. Not just because I'm married, but because I'd have to leave whoever I got involved with anyway. I would just set them up to shoot them down. That is - that is not okay. Maybe I got a little out of touch with morality, but there isn't enough liquor in Minnesota for this to be a good idea.

And I don't want to go to a game where I lose my gun. I won't do it. Everything is already broken enough. [He takes a long, burning drink and ends up choking for air afterwards. Earth alcohol sucks.] Also, jergatis jaldia illat? Jainkoas lagundu nigoit. Gorroto dut. Gorroto Harvey. Harvey rizon ederrat sa. And the cybermats! Shut up about the cybermats! Itsusiak diras! And creepy too! I... where did all my vodka go?

[I think you've had enough, Jaeris.]

I'll tell when I've *hic* sahikoa isan nuen! Somebody get me more... whatever I just had. But stronger. And Netflix. Netflix bizi sehar justu.

...nireis emazteara galdusi.
 

Comments

[punsofiron]

[Bordering between amused and...what the hell even.]

Are...you okay?

[gunslingerguy]

Yeah! It turns out my fake ID for this planet worked! [He holds up a bottle of something, triumphantly.] Liz, es jondu nahi dut. [...whatever he just said, it's said with great affection.] We should drink together and watch... something. Mun! Netflix!

[punsofiron]

Oooohhhhhkay I think you've had your fill.

[Does she even WANT to know what he said?]

[gunslingerguy]

[He said your hair is pretty. Just be glad he doesn't want to-] I wanna braid your hair and watch Grave Of The Fireflies. There's plenty o' booze to go around. We'll get Harvey and make a night of it.

oh God that movie is so crushingly depressing D8

[punsofiron]

...Grave of the Fireflies? Are you nuts?

My dad loves watching it at Christmas.

[gunslingerguy]

Or 500 Days of Summer. We could watch that! [He tries to stand, fumbling and falling onto her almost as soon as he's on his feet.] ...I meant to do that! Ja usaina duzu.

[milliondollarpipes]

[One brief hushed argument later (in which it was discovered that Harvey does not really even know what Netflix is), the mun finally succeeds in driving Harvey into action.]

Ooookay, I think you've had enough for the night. Do I even wanna know what you were sayin' about me?

[gunslingerguy]

You have a nice hat! I wanna try it! [Jaeris pauses, then adds,] and we can share the vodka! Lagunak egin nara sa~.

[milliondollarpipes]

...yeah, no. I think someone here oughta keep sober. Capiche?

But you can try the hat.

[gunslingerguy]

Do men not drink together here? This planet sucks. There's no chickcharnies and everyone's sober. How do you live like - wait, I can try the hat? [Jaeris scrambles to his feet and manages to keep upright despite some swaying, and gleefully grabs Harvey's hat, holding out his own.] We can swap for a bit. Everybody needs a hat.

[milliondollarpipes]

[Harvey rolls his eyes and takes the hat, looking at it for a second before putting it on.]

I ain't gonna get drunk with ya, but I'll sit and watch a movie. What're ya thinkin'?

[gunslingerguy]

I dunno. I wanna watch something happy. When I get depressed and drunk it doesn't end well. [He looks thoughtful.] It's your planet. You'd know the movies... pick somethin'.

[milliondollarpipes]

Alright, let's see what we got...

[Most of the movies lying around belong to Linkara; Harvey doesn't exactly own many DVDs. Some Star Trek movie...no. The Great Dicta - no. Horror movies at all are probably a bad idea...]

Here we go, The Princess Bride! That ain't depressin'.

[gunslingerguy]

What's it about? [Jaeris thankfully settles on the couch, looking interested.] Does it have a happy ending?

[milliondollarpipes]

A princess bride.

[Harvey smirks, putting the movie on and sitting down, pushing a few vodka bottles out of the way with his foot. That guy's lucky he doesn't have alcohol poisoning right about now.]

It ends fine. You'll like it.

[gunslingerguy]

Mm'kay. Too bad we don't have some popcorn. [He leans back against the couch, focusing on the screen.] Thanks for hanging out with me. It's been a while since I could just have a movie night with people.

[milliondollarpipes]

Don't mention it.

[He leans back against the couch, contemplating the general absurdity of his life.]

Bet we could get the pony to bring us a bowl.

[sailorlaughter]

[And then Pinkie Pie burst from the couch cushions next to him, bowl in hooves.]

YOU CAN BET YOUR BEST PARTY HAT I WILL!!!

[gunslingerguy]

Pinkie! Our savior. [Jaeris smiles warmly at her.] Popcorn is one food all our worlds have.

[milliondollarpipes]

[Harvey, not being drunk, is a little more jumpy. Please excuse him while he reholsters his pistol and tries to pretend he didn't just leap halfway across the couch.]

Yeah. Great. Who'da thunk it. [He takes a handful and pops it in his mouth - you'd think he'd be used to the pony by now.]

[sailorlaughter]

Really? Wow! Do you guys have caramel corn, too? That's my favorite!

[Pinkie, as usual, is oblivious to any alarm she may have caused.]

[gunslingerguy]

Yeah! I love that stuff. [Nom nom. Tonight is awesome.] And kettle corn. That's good too.

[sailorlaughter]

That's great too! We'll have to bring some next time...ooooh, the movie's starting!

[Pinkie tilts her head at the screen.] It's kinda weird how you humans ride horses around. Aren't you guys heavy?

[sailorlaughter]

[Pinkie leans down to sniff a bottle and winces.]

Stronger than that? Pfft, you're crazy!

[gunslingerguy]

It makes the sad feelings go away.

[sailorlaughter]

I dunno! Mr. and Mrs. Cake said I'm not allowed to do anything with alcohol anymore except baking. Not since The Incident!

[gunslingerguy]

Oh, Pinkie. If you want me to buy you a drink I will. You gave me cupcakes.

[sailorlaughter]

...Iiiiii dunno. My friends all say the same thing...and so does Cranky Doodle. And Donut Joe. And Princess Luna.

[gunslingerguy]

Oh. Okay, then. I'm just saying if you want one I'd help. Because you're the nicest person I've met here.

Can we hug?

[sailorlaughter]

Okay!

[PONY GLOMP IS GO]

[gunslingerguy]

[Yay! Friendship is the one kind of magc he's running low on.] Harvey and I are watching a movie upthread. Get some popcorn and join us!