advice time with karkat vantas

[crabsnack]

MUNDANE, OH MY GOD, NO. PUT YOUR IMAGE EDITING SOFTWARE DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME FOR FIVE SECONDS HERE. YOU CAN AFFORD FIVE SECONDS TO LET YOUR MOST SENSIBLE MUSE PITCH IN. YOU'RE DOING LITERALLY NOTHING. AT FIRST I THOUGHT YOU CONTRIBUTED SOMETHING TO THE WORLD BY PRODUCING CARBON DIOXIDE BUT THEN I REMEMBERED NO ONE FUCKING LIKES CARBON DIOXIDE.

YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME. "OH, WOW, THE LIGHT IN MY THINK PAN TOTALLY JUST WENT ON, I CAN HANDLE PUTTING SOMEONE IN A GAME! HOW ABOUT I SIT HERE FOR SIX HOURS MAKING ICONS OF OBSCURE SHIT NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND HAS EVER HEARD OF BECAUSE CLEARLY THAT'S WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS" NO
NO, NO, AND FOR FURTHER DISCOURAGEMENT, NO.
YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO EXACTLY HOW LONG YOUR ENTHUSIASM WILL LAST. YOU WILL GET DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING, FORGET ABOUT BEING IN A GAME, AND NO TAGS WILL GET DONE. THEN YOU WILL SHAMEFACEDLY DROP AND GO LIE DOWN IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK AND WHINE ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE TO GIVE A SHIT.

...LOOK, I'M SORRY. I KNOW I'M BEING HARSH HERE. BUT.
I WAS NEVER REALLY AS GREAT A LEADER AS I THOUGHT I WAS. SO I GUESS THIS IS ME TRYING TO MAKE IT UP TO THE UNIVERSE IN SOME WAY.
LIKE, HEY, I CAN'T STOP ALL MY FRIENDS FROM KICKING THE NONREPRODUCTIVE SOAPY WATER/MOP STORAGE UNIT. BUT I SURE CAN NAG A MUNDANE INTO NOT BEING QUITE SO SHITTY! THAT MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING, RIGHT? ALL RISE TO COMMEMORATE THE NEWLY-ABSOLVED KARKAT VANTAS.

YEAH. SO I DON'T MEAN TO SAY YOU'RE USELESS. I JUST MEAN YOU'RE NOT APPLYING YOURSELF IN THE RIGHT WAY, BECAUSE YOU'RE USELESS AT THINGS LIKE PERSEVERANCE.
IF YOU ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH THESE HOOPS AGAIN, TRY IT A DIFFERENT WAY THIS TIME. DON'T BE SO TIMID AND ACTUALLY GET OUT THERE AND TAG EVERYFUCKINGBODY LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW. DON'T DO, LIKE, ONE THREAD AT ONCE. MAKE IT SO YOU HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY FORGET ABOUT IT. MAYBE BEING TERRIFYINGLY BUSY IS THE KEY TO MAKING YOU STICK TO IT.

THERE'S PROBABLY A 5% CHANCE IT WON'T END IN DISASTER THAT WAY. GOOD LUCK, I GUESS.

AND SERIOUSLY, YOU DO NOT NEED MORE MUSES HANGING AROUND DOING NOTHING "JUST IN CASE". I KNOW IT DOESN'T HARM ANYTHING BUT IT'S GETTING CROWDED AS IT IS AND IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO ONE MORE SMUG GRUBLICKER TALK ABOUT HOW THEY WON'T BE COWED BY THE POWERS THAT BE I'M GOING TO REACH DOWN MY OWN PROTEIN CHUTE AND RIP OUT A LOT OF IMPORTANT BIOLOGY.

AND LOOK, I MAY HAVE JUST TALKED MYSELF INTO LETTING YOU TRY THIS AGAIN, BUT DON'T GET OVEREXCITED AND SEND ME. BEING STUCK IN YOUR HEADSPACE MAY BE HUMILIATING AND RESTRICTIVE BUT IT'S BETTER THAN ZOMBIES OR TINY HOOFBEASTS OR HAVING MY SOUL FUCKED AROUND WITH. THINK ABOUT IT LONG AND HARD AND I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE MORE SUITED TO WHEREVER YOU PICK. LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE, JUST ABOUT ANYONE.

Comments

[witchofmind]

My Mun wanted me to tell you that you're amazing.

As for me. I think, I'm on your side? At least as far as making more muses without somewhere to put them. I'm here for kind of the same reason. She's still rushing to make icons even as we speak.

[crabsnack]

I'M SERIOUSLY SEVERAL BILLION NODES SHORT OF AMAZING, BUT THANKS.

YEAH, IT DOES SOUND LIKE WE HAVE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME PROBLEMS. I THINK THAT'S JUST HOW MUNDANES ARE. IT'S LIKE THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DOING SOMETHING OR THEIR THINK PAN EXPLODES AND SHOWERS EVERYONE WITH REGRETS AND LOOSE ENDS. AT LEAST YOURS IS BEING MORE PRODUCTIVE THAN MINE RIGHT NOW.

ARE YOU HEADED SOMEWHERE OR IS YOUR MUN JUST AS INDECISIVE AS MINE?

Forgive my screwup there. Iconing is taking most of my attention XD

[witchofmind]

[She giggles quietly.]

Productive, perhaps. But not particularly truthful in how she depicts me in these icons. She seems set on making them all God Tier, even though I haven't reached it...Yet, it would seem.

[A sigh.]

I'm afraid she's undecided as of yet. Considering the world I come from seems to be inspired from two entirely different ones, she's still working out the kinks, and unsure where I would fit.

no problem! i'm super dozy, i'm surprised i haven't mucked up his chat code yet

[crabsnack]

I GUESS YOUR MUN HAS HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF YOU. MINE SEEMS PRETTY HAPPY TO ADMIT TO MY FACE I'M PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET THERE. AT LEAST NOT HERE. SOME VERSIONS OF ME OUT THERE PROBABLY HIT GOD TIER A LONG TIME AGO.

WELL, UNIVERSES GET CROSSED SOMETIMES. IT'S NOT UNHEARD OF IN A PLACE LIKE THIS. IN FACT, IT'S NOT EVEN UNHEARD OF WHERE I'M ORIGINALLY FROM. I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'LL FIND A PLACE IF YOU WANT TO.

IF NOT, AT LEAST YOU WON'T GET TORN TO BITS BY GIANT LEECH MONSTERS OR FORCED TO WORK IN PANDIMENSIONAL RETAIL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

Do you need to sleep? :o

[witchofmind]

I'd prefer not to, in all honesty. It's apparently not going to be very pleasant.. She's rather determined to make it as terrible as possible for me.

She's still looking around really. I'm afraid to say she doesn't know as many games as some of the other people here. She was first dragged into a Dressing Room by a friend, and pretty much stayed there. She's just venturing out to try new games now.

There are worse things than retail, but I can see your point. I don't think she'd let me off the hook so easily though.

naw its like 3pm here im good for like another 8 hours

[crabsnack]

OH, DAMN. TOUGH BREAK. BUT JUST MAKE SURE YOU RISE TO THE CHALLENGE AND YOU'LL PROBABLY DO FINE...

MINE SORT OF DABBLED IN A FEW THEN CLUCKBEASTED OUT OF ALL OF THEM AFTER MESSING EVERYONE AROUND FOR AGES. I'M NOT CONDONING HER RETARDED ENDEAVOURS TO RINSE AND REPEAT WITH A NEW GAME BUT APPARENTLY SHE'S SET ON TRYING AGAIN SO I DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A SAY IN THE MATTER.

I THINK SHE HAD SOMEONE IN paradisa FOR A WHILE. AND BEFORE THAT, jarjammed. SHE'S BEEN LOOKING AROUND A LOT LATELY TOO SO I GUESS I COULD LIST A COUPLE MORE IF YOUR MUNDANE WANTED.

ANYWAY RETAIL IS TERRIBLE LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES.

[livingdeadboy]

[ Sahu is just gonna stare in utter bafflement at the largest onslaught of words he has experienced in a very long time for a moment or two here. ]

You really shouldn't rip your insides out. You look like you're alive so I think you're probably going to need them.

[ That... might be all he actually got out of that essay. ]

[crabsnack]

IF BEING ALIVE MEANS LISTENING TO YET MORE MUSES POUR IN AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR TRAGIC FATE OF BEING IN HEADSPACE MAYBE DEATH IS THE BETTER OPTION HERE. SIGN ME UP.

[livingdeadboy]

Trust me being alive is better! If you're dead you'll be chased by giant headed murder monkey robots with literal crotch rockets!

[ He is very incredibly DEAD serious. He has had far to many run ins with those creepy ass things. He wouldn't wish them upon his worst enemy. ]

[crabsnack]

YOU LOST ME AT MONKEY.
AND THEN PICKED ME UP AGAIN AT CROTCH ROCKETS.





WHAT THE FUCK

[livingdeadboy]

If you're dead THIS will chase you!

[ He pulls a picture out of his pocket that looks like it was torn from a newspaper article. ]

So leave your organs where they are!

[crabsnack]

[Silence. And then...]

JESUS FUCKING SHIT THAT LOOKS WAY TOO FAMILIAR
FUCK THAT OKAY. NEVER MIND THE ORGAN REMOVAL THING. I THINK I CAN COPE WITH THE MUSE INFLUX IF THAT'S MY ALTERNATIVE.

[ineuphony]

Sometimes you need to be harsh in order to get your point across.

[crabsnack]

AH! AH HA! SEE? YOU GET IT.
SHE GETS IT.
WHY CAN'T MORE PEOPLE GET IT.

[ineuphony]

Well, you said you're a leader, right? -- So am I for my team. And as Captains, sometimes we need to be brutally honest with them. It's not because we do it to hurt their feelings. We do it so we can help them improve themselves.

I guess not a lot of people get it because they've never been in our situations?

[crabsnack]

WAS A LEADER. I DON'T KNOW SO MUCH IF THEY NEED ME ANY MORE. BUT YOU'RE RIGHT.

YEAH, I MEAN, LET'S SEE ANYONE ELSE GET A HANDLE ON A TEAM OF SELF-CENTRED WIGGLERS. SOME PEOPLE JUST AREN'T HATCHED TO COPE. WE PROBABLY DESERVE AN AWARD OR SOMETHING FOR DEALING THIS LONG.

[ineuphony]

( she laughs. )

I don't know about anyone else but seeing my teammates get stronger is rewarding enough for me.

[crabsnack]

TO BE HONEST...

[He glances around.]

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I MEAN, THEY MAY BE COMPLETE GRUBFUCKERS BUT THEY'VE... COME A LONG WAY. AND THAT'S COOL. I GUESS. ON SOME LEVEL.

[fireflyheir]

don't put yourself down so much, i bet you'd be great?
…did something happen?

[seriously he wouldn't have expected this]

he wont shut up i am so sorry

[crabsnack]

UUUUUUGH
OUR FATES ARE BEING DECIDED AGAINST OUR WILL BY THE POWERS THAT BE AND WE'RE SURROUNDED BY THINGS THAT I GUESS ON SOME LEVEL WOULD BE CALLED "PEOPLE" FROM MULTIPLE UNIVERSES THAT ARE ALL INCREDIBLY OBNOXIOUS. SO YEAH. I GUESS THAT'S BUSINESS AS USUAL. I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR SEEING NO REASON TO ACT ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOUR USUAL OBLIVIOUS SELF.

BUT I JUST GOT SWAMPED BY A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF NEW MUSES AND MY MUNDANE IS BEING FLAKY BEYOND BELIEF, AS WELL AS SUDDENLY CONSIDERING SENDING ME TO A "GAME".
I'D SAY NOT LIKE ANY GAME I EVER HEARD OF, BUT SGRUB WAS EQUALLY LIFE-THREATENING AND THOROUGHLY UNPLEASANT.
SO I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS
HAVEN'T YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
BUT NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP THE RIDE JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GET OFF, SO ALL I CAN DO IS NAG MY MUNDANE INTO POSSIBLY BEING SLIGHTLY LESS SHITTY. CONSIDER ME RESIGNED TO MY FATE, BUT ARGUING REGARDLESS IS DEFINITELY STILL ON THE TABLE.

HO HUM.

it's fine! it would be kind of odd if he did

[fireflyheir]

guess so.
plus, bonus: probably no one is going to die here permanently!
… although i guess the trauma scars aren't so good either.

man.
well, at least you've got company for whatever you decide to do
unless they disagree about the situation.
what are they like?
i wouldn't expect anything else of you. :)

Re: it's fine! it would be kind of odd if he did

[crabsnack]

...THAT SOUNDS GODAWFUL. BUT SURE, THE NOT-PERMA-DYING THING IS A BONUS.

COMPANY IS NOT THE WORD I WOULD PICK OUT OF THE PAGED VOCABULARY RETAINER.
THEY ARE FUNDAMENTALLY TERRIBLE PEOPLE (AND HERE I HESITATE TO USE THE WORD), WITH VARYING LAYERS OF IRRITATING TRAITS AND/OR SICKENING CHEER, AND I'M PRETTY SURE AT LEAST 60% OF THEM LACK A WORRYING DEGREE OF SANITY.
BUT I'VE HEARD IT CAN BE WORSE. AT LEAST ONLY ONE OF THEM IS A MURDERER TO MY KNOWLEDGE, AND AT THIS POINT HE'S HARMLESS. IF INCREDIBLY WHINY.
APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE GET STUCK WITH ELDER GODS AND SHIT SO WHATEVER. I'M NOT LOOKING A GIFT HOOFBEAST IN THE MOUTH HERE.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? HARANGUED EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO BEING BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YET?

[fireflyheir]

yeah. [aaaand that's as much as he's saying about that.]

sounds kind of familiar.
wait, seriously?
yeah, that's got to be pretty weird. though i bet rose would be interested in that.

haha
most of them are pretty friendly, actually! but some of the others are kind of quiet
so i'm still working on that!

Sorry for the Tl;dr Callie thought you could use a good cheer!

[caduuceus]

oh! might this be one of yoUr frUity erm rUmpUs memos i have heard so mUch aboUt?
please allow me to interject! :U

are we not all jUst individUals sitting at oUr respective terminals?
my mUn Used to feel rUddy awefUl whenever she had to drop
she woUld feel she had failed and shamefUl that she wasted anyone's time
bUt lo and behold she still speaks to the friends that she made from the experience
and her CR still speaks of her characters in passing
i daresay that alone made those memories worth it! ^U~

and even of the mUses who didn't leave their mark...
they are not worth any less
this is not sbUrb, it is okay to be a little selfish
some mUses simply do not stick, and yes, there will be those mUndane who UndoUbtedly can hear oUr voices better or give more accUrate portayals U_U
bUt they got where they did becaUse they kept at it
and in the end they are no different than yoU
so i say give it yoUr all, dear!
yoU can't win a game if yoU never take yoUr tUrn!

and for what it is worth
*i* think yoU made a good leader Karkat U_U
trUe i may not know *yoU* precisely
bUt i do fancy i know a bit of troll cUltUre
and the things yoU have helped accomplished are trUly worth noting!
yoU woUldn't have inspired me as yoU have otherwise UWU

so chin Up love,
if this conversation is anything to go by
i jUst know yoU'll do a bangUp job! ^U^

there is no such thing as tl;dr when the speech in question is super lovely

[crabsnack]

THAT'S THE THING, SHE DOESN'T EVEN DROP, SHE JUST PROCRASTINATES UNTIL ALL THE ACTIVITY CHECKS GET HER THROWN OUT BY FORCE. THEN MOPES ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SHOW HER FACE AROUND THERE AGAIN BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE GIVES SO MUCH OF A SHIT!!
BUT I FOR ONE COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU. I'VE DONE ENOUGH MOPING TO KNOW IT ACCOMPLISHES A SKY HIGH PILE OF FUCK ALL. NOT THAT WE DON'T ALL DO IT FROM TIME TO TIME.

IN ANY CASE, MY MUNDANE HAS THAT DUMB WIBBLY LOOK THAT I THINK MEANS SHE'S GRATEFUL FOR THE PEP TALK.
THAT OR SHE'S SITTING FUNNY AND ONE OF HER LIMBS FELL ASLEEP.
EITHER WAY THE MENTAL OUTPUT EQUATES TO ABOUT THE SAME AS A ROCK, SO WHATEVER

TO BE HONEST I THINK MY OPINION ON MY OWN LEADERSHIP SKILLS DOESN'T EVEN MATTER ANY MORE. IT'S JUST ANOTHER THING TO WHINGE ABOUT FROM TIME TO TIME.
BUT I'LL ADMIT IN CONFIDENCE THAT EVEN HEARING THAT FROM SOMEONE WHO NEVER HAD TO WADE THROUGH MILES OF CHALLENGES UNDER MY CAREFUL BUT ULTIMATELY FECKLESS INSTRUCTION IS STILL KIND OF NICE, AS ILLOGICAL AS THAT SEEMS TO ME.
SO FROM MY MUNDANE AND I I GUESS THERE'S SOME KIND OF THANKS IN ORDER.