at capeandcowl, canon is The Guild

[egohalfempty]

Let me get this straight.

Your plans for me are... one, I get trapped in some weirdo labyrinth that looks like the Guild Hall. Two, while I'm there, the evil version of avatar spills all of my secrets and threatens to kill me. Then, finally, number three...

I start crushing on a serial killer?

Are you SERIOUS?! I didn't think I could possibly hate you any more, but-- but-- you are just the world's biggest jerk!

Comments

[jailbrake]

Wow.

[egohalfempty]

That's close to what I said.

In between all the tears.

You want to know the worst part? She thinks it's funny! How is any of this funny?!

[jailbrake]

Hell if I know, but you ain't gonna get anything done by bitching and moaning about it.

[michiko is
literally the least qualified person to give advice on anything but]

I got a better idea.

[egohalfempty]

[ so is cyd
but that
has never stopped her. girl totally could've been an amateur advice columnist okay ]

Hit me. I mean, it's gotta be better than anything I can come up with.

[jailbrake]

Okay. So the first thing you do, you get an ice cream truck.

[egohalfempty]

What... ?

I can't steal stuff! Okay, there was that one time with the traffic cone, but I was just an accessory! At best.

[jailbrake]

Well, what the hell else are you supposed to run the bastard over with?

[egohalfempty]

What?!

He's an awful guy even if he seems nice right now but I can't just run him over!

[jailbrake]

Look, girly, who's the one with the privilege [privileged...] information here? I'm tellin' you, it'll work for sure.

[egohalfempty]

I'm not sure that's the word you're... never mind.

[ lip. quivering. ] C- can't I just get him thrown in jail? I don't think I have the stomach for vehicular manslaughter. I mean, I once threw up on a guy just because he was wearing fake eyeball makeup. Fake! The thought of really hurting someone makes me want to anxiety vomit.

[jailbrake]

Police there just don't give much of a shit.

[egohalfempty]

Ugggh, I don't want to do this.

I mean, I don't want to get murdered either... or let other people get murdered because I didn't do anything to help, but...

Ooh, Codex.

[notthetechguy]

Your mun is doing that?! What is wrong with some of these muns?

thank you!

[egohalfempty]

I wish I knew! To be fair, my taste in guys can be pretty questionable, but... still!

I have got to rewatch the Guild again...

[notthetechguy]

I think the serial killer thing is still pretty messed up.

I definitely encourage it. The last few seasons have been pretty great.

[egohalfempty]

In my defense, I don't know he's a serial killer. Well, here I know that, but there I...

Wow, this is confusing.

But that's a step in the direction! Sort of. Sure, he's actually a way bigger jerk than anyone I've ever dated, but... he seems nice!

[glowsferatu]

Well, I mean, just because someone has killed one or two people doesn't mean they should be entirely disqualified from romantic consideration. ...Right?

[egohalfempty]

Are you serious?!

Please tell me you're not serious. I mean, okay, I realize that I have absolutely no room to judge anyone else for their romantic choices... you kind of forfeit that right when your list of crushes includes a dude who used to stalk you, but still–

Unless it was for the better good and there was really no alternative, I'm pretty sure that should be a big no!

[glowsferatu]

What if it was done out of absolute necessity?

[ she started this because she was afraid it would mean no one would ever bother loving her, but now that she thinks about it, vriska is not as easy to justify........ ]

[egohalfempty]

Then, I guess... if it's absolutely necessarily, like someone who's about to kill you or a bunch of other people and won't listen to reason and...

[ Oh dear. She's basically describing Brian, isn't she? Rather than focus on that, though, she's going to question the other woman. ] Wait a minute. Why are you asking?

[glowsferatu]

And if they already had killed you and others, while being very likely to cause the deaths of everyone else?

It's hypothetical!

[egohalfempty]

Hypothetically? [ Said like she's starting to get the feeling this isn't so hypothetical. ] T- that'd be okay, I think. It's a really different situation from just killing people because you can or it's fun or whatever.

G- granted, all my experience with murder comes from steamy fantasy fiction. So.

[glowsferatu]

Really? Murder doesn't exactly feature prominently among my steamier fantasies. I deal with enough of that already.

I mean, uh, hypothetically.

[sword_obsession]

You know if that's all you have to be worried about I think you should count yourself lucky.

[egohalfempty]

Uh-huh, lucky. That is exactly the word I would use to describe myself.