dude, when's your franchise gonna end?

[therealgenius]

It's got to end soon. At least, with Tony's part of the story. Look, the man is getting on in years, and he's not fooling anyone with dyeing his hair. You saw The Soloist, you know he's gray. Soon he won't be able to do any of his stunts at all, and you can't have a good Iron Man movie if Iron Man can't do any of his stunts.

[iron man 2 wasn't any good though shut your mouth]

And he's running out of Big Bad Countries In All The Movies And Books In Recent History to piss off. The Middle East is done, Russia is done, now it's China. If the second Avengers combines the Super Hot Villain Of The Month with North Korea, it's over. It's done. Unless he sparks another crisis in Cuba, where's he going from there?

Maybe we'll get a super god alien space movie that's tolerable after that. You know, more alien god problems, less boring shit on Earth. Iron Man and Captain America is on Earth. We have enough Earth movies. Seriously. I don't even care if the new bad aliens are, like, the lizard people from Battleship, it'd be more interesting than whiny human problems.

I mean, it can't go on forever, right? No one wants to see Iron Wheelchair. Not even me, and that's saying something.

Comments

[therealgenius]

Then he had a body that had developed some form of super fast healing. He's a supercoyote. People should be trying to recruit him, get him some mental help for his obsession with the roadrunner.

Or, you know, just stick the roadrunner in a room he can't escape from and they can talk about their issues.

[biologist]

I would've eaten that roadrunner.

[therealgenius]

I was trying to go for something near politically correct with that, but yeah: let him eat the roadrunner, then figure out what's in his DNA or use him as a—

[Test subject? No. Not even Justin Hammer is stupid enough to go there in front of someone with deep ties to the Hulk.]

...something or other.

[biologist]

[ Arching a brow, it lowers again once Justin plays it safe. ]

Umbrella? [ Lightly suggested! ] To keep the poor coyote out of the desert sun.

[therealgenius]

[Danger level is still high, Justin is gonna back off as quickly as he can tyvm.]

Yeah, but then you'll have to deal with PETA talking about Avian oppression or some shit and that'll...that's a PR nightmare.

[biologist]

I'll let you deal with that side of the fence, Mr. Hammer.

[therealgenius]

Do you have a functional design for an umbrella covered in feathers?

[biologist]

I'm really not that arty. I'd probably just paint the umbrella in glue and shove it in a box of feathers to see what happened.

[therealgenius]

Necessity is the mother of invention. Or is it boredom? I can't really tell the difference anymore. I'm sure he'd appreciate it, if we could get him to eat it in a way that wouldn't have the hide and feathers completely useless at the end.

[biologist]

Now you're making me really hungry.

[therealgenius]

Are you fishing for a free lunch?

[betty plz justin will buy you the biggest, finest lunch of your life]

[biologist]

[ Girl don't need no billionaire! ]

No, but I am wondering what to have when I buy my own. Fishsticks in gravy from the university cafeteria are getting a little old.

[therealgenius]

Why not go to Olive Garden? Out with the fishsticks, in with the all-you-can-eat breadsticks, profiting is had by everyone involved!

[biologist]

I was thinking more along the lines of ordering a pizza into the lab.

[therealgenius]

Yeah, but doesn't that require extra cleaning when it's time to go home to make sure there's no contagions leftover thanks to pizza?

[biologist]

You don't eat it while you're working.

[therealgenius]

What's the point of eating in if you can't eat in while you're doing what you're supposed to be doing?

[biologist]

To eat it during a scheduled lunch break. You're so spoiled.

[therealgenius]

[THAT'S NOT FAIR...!]

No, no. No no no. When I'm in my office, I have a lunch break scheduled. When I'm doing work on the range, I just don't eat. When I'm in my lab, I—

I bleach everything down if I eat. That's not spoiled!

[biologist]

[ Chuckling. ]

It isn't? Ah, okay.

[therealgenius]

[Spoiled is flying in fresh coconuts from the tropics whenever he feels like it and getting them, okay?]

No, I don't think it is. Why is that spoiled, just because of my bank account?

[biologist]

Partly, and also because you're so defensive over being teased.

[therealgenius]

[Betty please.]

I'm sorry, do you see these glasses on my face here? The ones I've had since I was very young? Do you remember glasses in the '70s and '80s? How thick and awful they were? You know what happens to science geeks the size of a pencil with those things, right?

[yes because being verbally picked on is the same as being bullied in school

really, this is logical]

[biologist]

[ Justin wtf does your brain get sprained from doing all these acrobatic leaps. Sympathy is not stoked by obtuse trips down memory lane. ]

I'm not going to smash your face in unless you severely offend me, Mr. Hammer. Rest assured.

[therealgenius]

[No, his brain is like Gene Kelly, it can do all the dancing and leaping and he's still fine!]

That's part of being an adult, isn't it? Not assaulting people.

Because you go to jail.

[It's not a threat! It's just following a reason to its end. People would probably hit each other all the time if they wouldn't get fined or go to jail, right?]