dear_mun | dude, when's your franchise gonna end?

It's got to end soon. At least, with Tony's part of the story. Look, the man is getting on in years, and he's not fooling anyone with dyeing his hair. You saw The Soloist, you know he's gray. Soon he won't be able to do any of his stunts at all, and you can't have a good Iron Man movie if Iron Man can't do any of his stunts.

[iron man 2 wasn't any good though shut your mouth]

And he's running out of Big Bad Countries In All The Movies And Books In Recent History to piss off. The Middle East is done, Russia is done, now it's China. If the second Avengers combines the Super Hot Villain Of The Month with North Korea, it's over. It's done. Unless he sparks another crisis in Cuba, where's he going from there?

Maybe we'll get a super god alien space movie that's tolerable after that. You know, more alien god problems, less boring shit on Earth. Iron Man and Captain America is on Earth. We have enough Earth movies. Seriously. I don't even care if the new bad aliens are, like, the lizard people from Battleship, it'd be more interesting than whiny human problems.

I mean, it can't go on forever, right? No one wants to see Iron Wheelchair. Not even me, and that's saying something.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Justin wtf does your brain get sprained from doing all these acrobatic leaps. Sympathy is not stoked by obtuse trips down memory lane. ]

I'm not going to smash your face in unless you severely offend me, Mr. Hammer. Rest assured.

[No, his brain is like Gene Kelly, it can do all the dancing and leaping and he's still fine!]

That's part of being an adult, isn't it? Not assaulting people.

Because you go to jail.

[It's not a threat! It's just following a reason to its end. People would probably hit each other all the time if they wouldn't get fined or go to jail, right?]

You sound nervous.

[ Of the only woman angrier than the Hulk? He should be. But not right now, because Betty is ~~actually a lovely person who doesn't like violence~~ enjoying his reaction. ]

I don't usually talk about jail.

It's a thing I developed since I got out of prison. I don't really—it's not something I like to talk about.

Nor is getting smashed in the face.

Or, uh. My. Childhood.

[ Oh my god, take all the chill pills. ]

For what it's worth, before you started waxing lyrical about how much you suffered at the hands of glasses-hating pre-teens, I was thinking how funny and charming you were.

[Do they come in shots off of Betty's navel?]

Wa—really? You were?

...you're not pulling my leg?

Well, I did try, but it's like I said. Defensive.

[ And now she's just not going to ever again ~~NAVEL WHAT shh~~. Maybe she's way too used to having Bruce to joke around with, he's got a rubbery sense of humor. ]

[Bambalam.

There's a sigh. Look, okay, he's not used to this. Usually if a woman says that, she may as well have her hand in his back pocket. Not on his ass, but his wallet.]

My legs aren't as flexible as they used to be. It's, uh, a...middle-aged thing. That, and I didn't do so well with them when I played tennis, but really. I just. I'm a little high-strung sometimes. My. Uh, my apologies.

[ Ahw, that gets a grateful smile. After she's wrinkled her nose when he goes on about his legs, that is; Betty imagines it isn't often people try to poke fun at someone so high-profile for no reason, so Justin is forgiven. ]

Thank you. Where were we before that?

[Where were all the hot science geeks like Betty when he was growing up? Seriously?

Oh wait. They all had braces and looked terrible, and then they grew up and were hot.

And Justin was a billionaire. No real loss, right?]

I think we were talking about making an umbrella out of feathers after the coyote gorged on roadrunner meat.

[ See, Justin does know how to make her smile! Halfway to assuming he was going to be an edgy tryhard, she's pleasantly surprised when he isn't. ]

The best conversation, hands down.

[Man, Justin's not edgy. Unless she means four of them. Because he's square.

Or, kind of square. Maybe more of a pentagon. Really, he's a straight edge sort of guy. He just made a mistake! Everyone makes mistakes, right?]

It was...old cartoons are always fun to look back on later, especially with all the stuff they got away with back then.

Do you actually like Olive Garden?

If I tell you what I like, you'll say I have an unhygienic lab or something similar.

[ Hmph. The pizza should be a clue. ]

We could always, uh. You know. [Goddamnit, Justin, stop beating around the bush.] Meet at an actual place outside the lab. Nearer to the sunlight.

Alright, that'd be nice.

[ Smile widening, she gives a nod. Hmm. Poor spoiled/awkward/adorable rich boy, let her be your frand. ]

I don't see why not. Do you like Italian food?

[ As if Justin is going to be headlining this, psh. The reins, she has them. ]

[She can have the reins, no problem. He has the bank account to make this really easy on everyone if she takes it all by the pants.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.]

Oh, yeah. I like most food, actually. I just suggested...I mean, I don't want to send mixed messages, like, if I took someone to fine dining they'd think it meant something it didn't, and that's. That's problematic. I like to avoid that.

Problems, I mean. Problems that I could have avoided by, uh. Foresight.

I'm not sure how 'fine' the dining at my house will be, but I think it'll send the message of one well-fed guy at the end of it.

[ Tagliatelleeee niiiight! ]

[omg did he just get invited to a woman's house on his own merits who seems to give no shits about his money?

Well. It's happened before, but. He can dream, right?]

There's actually no foods I'm allergic to, so really? You can make whatever you want. I could, I could help, if you wanted. I'm actually pretty good with lots of things. I had chefs for a while that I used to shadow. I'm okay making my own stuff, and if you have something new, I'd love to learn!

[ He's a Justin!puppy, holy cow. ]

There's a really sweet old guy on my block who grows his own mushrooms, they're delicious. I don't actually know what kind they are and I never asked, but we'll pretend they're girolle. You're only allowed to cut them up if you've got a steady hand though, Mr. Hammer, we can't waste a single piece. [ Yes, this is a good decision. ] You can choose the other vegetables.

Oh, trust me, I have steady hands. Very steady hands. Can't work in my field without them, you know? All those little bitty pieces that have to fit in just so, or—look at me, talking about work.

Yes, I have steady hands. I'm certain I can handle chopping up any kind of mushroom.

dude, when's your franchise gonna end?

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