J.A.R.V.I.S - MCU/AU? - Homeless

[actualintelligence]

If you could indulge me with telling me exactly what was going through your head when you thought it a good idea to; not only take me on as a "muse", but to then to put me to next to no use?

While I am well aware of how amusing you think it would be for me to spend time 'sassing' Mr. Stark in all his numerous incarnations. Surely you should have known that without putting me out there nothing happens.

Perhaps if you enquired around to see if there was a game that employed Chobits mechanics. Then at least you have something to work with at least. Or just a world with interact computers, maybe?

Just because Mr. Stark has the will to ignore me, I can tell with this post that you cannot. So please stop it.

Comments

[playingoursong]

Anything's gotta be better than living in a wall, right?

[actualintelligence]

With all due respect, Sergeant Barnes.

Normally my 'wall' consisted of a Malibu mansion and a Manhattan High rise, it's quite understandable that I'm somewhat dissatisfied about not being used within even 10% of my capabilities.

[playingoursong]

Yeah, it was a fancy wall. Protest all you like, but we're the chess pieces, not the hands.

[actualintelligence]

I'm afraid that's over estimating my current position on my Mun's shelf. Simply because chess pieces get moved and have a board. I am sadly lacking in either.

[playingoursong]

Eager to get out there, huh?

[actualintelligence]

Simply eager to be of use, Sergeant.

[playingoursong]

I guess that does fit, you being a machine and all.

[actualintelligence]

A quaint, if not out-dated assessment. However no less correct to the situation.

Are you able to supply me with any data that could be of any use to me?

[playingoursong]

You'll have to forgive me, Jarvis, things were a little different in the Forties.

[He considers.]

Look cute, don't stop pestering your mundane, and continue to be helpful in figuring out where to go.

[actualintelligence]

If you notice, Sergeant, I was polite about it.

Yes, excellent. I shall do my up most to look into how best to make an artificial intelligence like my self appear 'cute'. Most helpful indeed.

[Don't mind him, he's used to Tony's and his Mun's sarcasm.]

[playingoursong]

[He laughs quietly. You're just bringing this on yourself now, Jarvis.]

C'mon. Can't you do any of those... what do you people call 'em... smileys? Anything?

[actualintelligence]

I'm afraid I'm a little too advanced for something so, limiting where expressions are concerned.

[In other words, he is too much of a snobby piece of software to be caught blue screening with an an emote.]

[playingoursong]

Ah, well. Advanced guy like you, I'm sure you'll think of something.

[actualintelligence]

If you insist, Sergeant.

[playingoursong]

[Well, wouldja look at that.]

That's it. Just keep grinning.

[actualintelligence]

You have a rather positive mindset, don't you Sergeant?

[playingoursong]

Only some of the time. Steve's influence, probably.

[actualintelligence]

He does seem to have that effect on most people from what I have been able to document.

[playingoursong]

Yeah. Sometimes it's pretty irritating.

[He smiles wryly.]

[actualintelligence]

He doesn't have to be positive in order to be found irritating to particular people, I'm afraid.

That being said, Mr. Stark is to be considered an outlier when it comes to Captain Rogers appeal.

[savedhisheart]

[Actually feels sorry for him.] Could be worse, you could be stuck on a flash drive somewhere.

[actualintelligence]

Only because a flash drive with the sheer capacity to even hold me has yet to even be developed.

However, Miss Potts. I do appreciate the sentiment behind your words.

[savedhisheart]

Then maybe I shouldn't complain to him about mine running out of room all the time, he might make one that could hold you. [Not that she'd ever be that mean to him.]

You're welcome J.A.R.V.I.S.

[actualintelligence]

On the contrary, Miss Potts.

I believe Mr Stark would opt to lavish you with a range of novelty ones, or even a bouquet of them if he is indeed both bored enough and feeling particularly sentimental at the time.

[savedhisheart]

[She laughs] We both know how sentimental he is. And besides, as long as Banner's around he won't be bored for a while.

[Not to mention she actually needs him to show up to some meetings now and then. Get him started on flash drives she won't see him for three days at least.]

[actualintelligence]

We do indeed. Luckily, Dr. Banner's presence has decreased Mr. Stark's likelihood of injury, so he in fact holds many extra bonuses that both of them are unaware of.

[J.A.R.V.I.S has a hard enough time reminding him about those meetings when he isn't working on something that has his full attention, so keeping him off the flash rives is a good thing.]