someone learned the wrong lesson from the hickman run

[smarterthandad]

Hey. Lady whose existence has metaphysical implications I'm intentionally not thinking about: If I wanted to go off to outer space or another dimension or whatever, I could just...borrow something from Dad's lab, which you'll notice I'm not doing. I'm not getting in trouble again for something that's not even my fault, so go bug someone else. I'm on my best behavior until Franklin or Uncle Johnny does something to make everyone forget they're keeping an eye on me.

It'll only be a couple months, max. I ran the numbers.

Comments

Here's an alternate universe cousin

[cosmic_storm]

The numbers, huh? Don't those always get bogulated when it comes down to needing them?

Wait...Uncle Johnny and Franklin?

no weirder than anything else in her life

[smarterthandad]

Not when I do them.

[Most three year olds aren't that confident about their math skills. She rolls her eyes.]

The Human Torch and my dumb brother Franklin Richards. Is this some alternate timeline stuff? Are you like if Mom were a guy? The Invisible Man?

[She's just spitballing.]

[cosmic_storm]

Huh. So you got some kind of super math powers?

[He just ends up laughing.]

Naw, Human Torch is my dad and Franklin's my cousin. I guess that means you are too.

[smarterthandad]

I got Dad's brains. So yeah, super math powers, I guess.

[Among other things.

...Yep, he's totally Johnny's kid. She squints at him.]

That explains the family resemblance. Who's your mother?

[cosmic_storm]

Huh. If you say so.

[And he flashes a grin.]

Mom's Crystal.

[time_dancer]

Did you account for variables? There are always variables.

[smarterthandad]

[Hello, confusing version of herself who might or might not simultaneously be her past and future selves let's never speak of this again.]

Yes.

[SHE'S GOT THIS, GOSH.]

[time_dancer]

[Hello weird pseudo doppelganger self.]

Hey, no offense meant. I just know there's a lot in the multiverse to think about if you're heading out there.

[smarterthandad]

I know that. This isn't my first time at the reality rodeo.

[She sulks up at Other Val.]

So how are we related? You look like Mom.

[invisibly]

It sounds to me like you've got this all figured out.

[smarterthandad]

[...]

Who are you?

[invisibly]

My name is Sue. What's yours?

[smarterthandad]

[Nope.

Nope nope nope. Val's just not going there.]

Valeria. Everybody calls me Val.

[medusalith]

[ Medusa is reasonably sure that a child shouldn't be reminding her of Maximus this much, though she's going to assume that Valeria is far more stable than her brother-in-law ever was. ]

I doubt they will forget for very long if you insist upon causing trouble the moment their attention is elsewhere.

[smarterthandad]

[Pfft, Val's way smarter than Maximus.]

They get mad at me for helping.

[She's also three and still grappling with the unfairness of the universe.]

[medusalith]

[ Not reassuring in the slightest. ]

Considering that the chances are you did so against their wishes, I cannot blame them.

[ Ah, children. If there's one thing that having her son taken away from her until he's five or so teaches Medusa, it's that she really doesn't know how to deal with them. ]

[smarterthandad]

[Val is mixture of toddler, Reed Richards, and Victor von Doom. What could possibly go wrong.]

I had to go behind their backs! Grandfather and I even went behind my back!

[Time travel, man.]

[stormy_skrull]

[Hello there Val! Have a teenage Skrull!]

Oh. My. Gods! Somebody made Val all bitty!

[smarterthandad]

[Ohhhhhhh-kay. A Skrull. That is definitely not a thing that should be happening since the invasion got cleaned out, and no Skrull should be on a first name basis with her.]

Oh, super. What universe are you from?

[stormy_skrull]

The one where Val is my cousin? Name's Mary. Mary Storm.

[smarterthandad]

[Thinkiiiiing...]

Lyja's your mother?

[Way before her time, but she is the smartest person on the planet.]

[tattling]

WHAT DID YOU DO

[smarterthandad]

You were there!

Unless you're time traveling, in which case I'm not telling you because you'll go back and mess things up.

[tattling]

I'll mess things up? I'm the one who has to fix everything!

[smarterthandad]

In the future. You and I in the present just get manipulated by our future selves like crazy.

[Yeah, she still mad.]