someone learned the wrong lesson from the hickman run

[smarterthandad]

Hey. Lady whose existence has metaphysical implications I'm intentionally not thinking about: If I wanted to go off to outer space or another dimension or whatever, I could just...borrow something from Dad's lab, which you'll notice I'm not doing. I'm not getting in trouble again for something that's not even my fault, so go bug someone else. I'm on my best behavior until Franklin or Uncle Johnny does something to make everyone forget they're keeping an eye on me.

It'll only be a couple months, max. I ran the numbers.

Comments

Here's an alternate universe cousin

[cosmic_storm]

The numbers, huh? Don't those always get bogulated when it comes down to needing them?

Wait...Uncle Johnny and Franklin?

no weirder than anything else in her life

[smarterthandad]

Not when I do them.

[Most three year olds aren't that confident about their math skills. She rolls her eyes.]

The Human Torch and my dumb brother Franklin Richards. Is this some alternate timeline stuff? Are you like if Mom were a guy? The Invisible Man?

[She's just spitballing.]

[cosmic_storm]

Huh. So you got some kind of super math powers?

[He just ends up laughing.]

Naw, Human Torch is my dad and Franklin's my cousin. I guess that means you are too.

[smarterthandad]

I got Dad's brains. So yeah, super math powers, I guess.

[Among other things.

...Yep, he's totally Johnny's kid. She squints at him.]

That explains the family resemblance. Who's your mother?

[cosmic_storm]

Huh. If you say so.

[And he flashes a grin.]

Mom's Crystal.

[time_dancer]

Did you account for variables? There are always variables.

[smarterthandad]

Oh. [Weird.] She married Quicksilver in my timeline, but they got divorced.

[She sounds about as interested in the ins-and-outs of romance as you'd expect from a toddler.]

[smarterthandad]

[Hello, confusing version of herself who might or might not simultaneously be her past and future selves let's never speak of this again.]

Yes.

[SHE'S GOT THIS, GOSH.]

[time_dancer]

[Hello weird pseudo doppelganger self.]

Hey, no offense meant. I just know there's a lot in the multiverse to think about if you're heading out there.

[smarterthandad]

I know that. This isn't my first time at the reality rodeo.

[She sulks up at Other Val.]

So how are we related? You look like Mom.

[cosmic_storm]

Quicksilver? That speedy mutant jerk? Weird!

[He shrugs it off though.]

Name's Ray Storm, by the way. But all the cool people call me Cosmic Ray!

[smarterthandad]

You are so Uncle Johnny's kid.

["Cosmic Ray" get out of here that is terrible. Did you take lessons from Franklin?]

I'm Valeria.

[She offers him a tiny hand to shake.]

[time_dancer]

[Val snorts at the "reality rodeo"]

Sorry. 'Reality rodeo', I like that. Alternate timelines. I'm the daughter of Susan Storm-Richards and...well I always thought Victor von Doom was my dad, but when I went back in time, things happened that might suggest Dr. Richards was my dad though Doom raised me.

[cosmic_storm]

I hear that a lot. It's good to know awesome runs in the family.

[He probably did get lessons from Franklin "Zero Man" Richards.]

Nice meetin' ya, little cousin.

[He shakes the offered hand.]

[smarterthandad]

[Congratulations, that renders Li'l Val briefly speechless.]

...Is your name Valeria?

[smarterthandad]

[Ray has earned her tentative approval, and she grins up at him.]

You owe me three years of birthday presents, big cousin.

[Priorities.]

[cosmic_storm]

[And he laughs again.]

You sound just like my little sister. I'll get ya some presents then.

[time_dancer]

[She didn't mean to, really.]

Yeah, Valeria von Doom. [Worried tone of voice.] Are you Valeria too?

[smarterthandad]

[That was easy. Excellent.]

You have a sister, too?

[HOW MUCH AU FAMILY DOES SHE HAVE?]

[cosmic_storm]

[Ray's easygoing like that.]

Yeah. Luna's my little sister. She wants us to call her Spike though.

[Not too much more. At least he hasn't told her about Franklin's wife and new baby yet.]

[smarterthandad]

Valeria Richards. Uncle Doom named me.

[This is confusing and weird even by Fantastic Four standards.]

[smarterthandad]

Luna lives in Attilan with the Inhumans in my universe. She's not that much older than I am.

[Timelines. What are you gonna do?]

[cosmic_storm]

That's kinda weird. She's only a little younger than I am where I come from. Says she hates Attilan too. It's not the raddest place in the universe but she really can't stand it.

[It's best to just get used to them.]

[smarterthandad]

I liked it okay when Mom and Dad used to stick us there whenever they needed to go off and fight. The Inhumans have been all weird and portentous since they got back from Hala, though.

[She shrugs.]

Sounds like our timelines are pretty divergent.

[time_dancer]

I'm sorry, this must be awkward. Unless you've been to other realities like me.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Valeria...or do you prefer Val?