dear_mun | (no subject)

Entry tags:

canon: sherlock holmes

(no subject)

Mundane,

While it may be amusing to you that articles relating to the original ACD stories occasionally crop up over the course of your academic research, they will serve neither your portrayal of me, nor your studies. Don't you have better things to do with your time than read irrelevant articles (which are more than likely full of errors anyway)? I happen to know for a fact that you do.

Do at least try to not be an idiot.

SH

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I don't see why they can't just leave me alone to do my work.

[SULKING NOW.]

Because that's what they do. They're bloody invasive.

[Returning to his newspaper now okay okay.]

[Not you, you're allowed to bother him. You're not making weird chipmunk videos and trying to ferret out his horrible pirate childhood secrets.]

I don't even care except insofar as it makes it difficult to get my job done.

That's exactly what I mean. Just keep your head down when it comes to them, at least as much as possible.

I'm not going to turn down cases on the basis that they might draw attention, though; that's ridiculous.

No, I wouldn't expect you to.

[He waves an impatient hand. Never any real point in arguing.]

Anyway, what's, uh... What've you been up to? Aside from bickering with your Mun, I mean.

[There really isn't, John, and that's why you're a ~~good~~ tolerable flatmate.]

...You would be surprised how much time that takes up. But apart from that, "memes", mostly.

[Hey, the community is called "Baker Street". He feels somewhat at home there.]

Oh, you too, then? Yes, I've seen a bit of that place myself. She's got a flair for the dramatic, this one. You might get along.

[Siiiigh.]

It's very inconvenient, having to battle with them all the time. Takes up precious resources that I'm sure could be better used elsewhere.

We'll probably end up in some horrible and uncomfortable situation at some point in the future, then.

[Muns, why are they like this?]

I don't doubt it. I've already been thrown into loads of them. She just the other day decided that it would be "fun" to play out my death. Car crash. [He winces.]

I would say that she's touched in the head, but unfortunately, that's where I have to live now...

[There is a minute and brief scowl. Sherlock does not approve. No John deaths, please.]

I fail to see the fun in that... Although I suppose it might be useful.

They're not mutually exclusive, you know.

That's the point, there isn't any f--

[...]

Hang on. Useful? Please don't tell me you agree, that there's any point in causing us misery.

Of course there's a point; there's always a point. Whether or not they choose to get it is another matter entirely, and whether or not it is worth it is a third matter still.

There's a lot they can learn about themselves from it, if they choose, and a lot they can learn about us, if they're smart enough... And there's a lot we can learn about ourselves, if we choose, and we're smart enough-- and they let us remember it.

...The "worth" part might be rather more subjective.

[... Yeah, sloooowly moving a hand to his forehead now. When Sherlock just goes off like this about words and logic and more words... he follows along, but develops a small headache in the process.]

Alright, then. There may be a point, but I can't say I'm in support of it. I've enough mind games in my life from you, and I don't exactly need any more from those memes.

[Sherlock ought to come with a health hazard label. Warning: may induce headaches. Use prescribed dosage only. Risk of severe mental trauma if dosage is exceeded.]

For myself I think it might be interesting... But it's possible that I'm biased since I know it's highly unlikely I'll end up in those situations. My mun has rather delicate sensibilities. Hates to see anyone she likes suffer.

[If only he did. Well, Agent Donovan kind of counted, but... well.]

Delicate sensibilities. [He chuckles dryly.] Wish mine would follow suit. Guess it could be worse, though... never know what kind of spot you'll find yourself in 'round here.

[The trauma warning label is supposed to warn, not cause more trauma in itself.]

It could be much worse, but it could also be much better.

...Although really, having observed the environment for a while, that may not actually be true.

It's all rather dull, though, isn't it? She won't let me do anything in case I'll get "hurt". Apparently it's a mystery how someone hasn't canonly "choked the life out of me".

[Valid point.]

Yes, I s'pose.

[Not bored again, Sherlock? He smiles wearily.]

That's one mystery we'll never solve, I'm afraid.

[Forever bored. Few mysteries to solve inside the heads of students where they only things they've killed have been time and Terry's Chocolate Oranges.]

I should imagine it's very obvious and involves the words "protagonist", "BBC", and "enormous amounts of revenue".

Although obviously I'm sure my natural brilliance also contributes.

And perhaps you, as well.

[Oh, he sympathizes. For him, though, the problem is that reasoning with his Mun is like reasoning with a goldfish.]

That would do it. [He shakes his head.]

What, you think I'm stopping people from choking the life out of you? I've tried to do it myself, you might remember.

[The one universal truth of this strange existence seems to be that muns never listen.]

Just because a person does something doesn't mean they'll let someone else do it.

[Without a doubt.

John cracks a bit of a grin at that.]

Well, maybe you're right, and maybe you aren't.

Of course I'm right.

Well, you never know. Could be wrong. It's happened before.

...Infrequently.