On recent developments in Fate/Apocrypha

[penisenvy]

Fuck this update.

Fuck this user name.

Above all, mun...

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know why I keep myself well-covered at all times? It's to hide my fucking failure of a body! It's to hide the fact that I CAN'T BE LIKE FATHER! Apparently it's too much work for you or this Nasu asshole to have some respect for my fucking privacy!

Dear fucking Christian God and pagan Celtic deities alike! Does my life suck that much? Is the bar for human decency and respect set lower for me than for everyone else? My heart and body can be ripped to shreds and no one would care!

...You're laughing, aren't you? Stop trying to hide it. You're laughing. Everyone is laughing. That's right, laugh at this failure of a clone who can't grow the right body parts! You think I didn't try you stupid bitch?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

The only thing that keeps me from slaying you where you stand is chivalry. I hope you know that.

Comments

[goldentheater]

[sigh]

If you are not a woman, you have even less reason to allow yourself to be yoked. Letting people control and deride you due to your so-called "inadequacy" will only lead you to a life of misery.

[penisenvy]

[Here's a secret: only those who know of her inadequacy deride her for it. And because of her heavy armor, only she knows of her own sex.]

I have no desire to be a woman, nor any desire to be addressed as such. But due to the weakness of my spirit and my ill fortune, my body has taken a woman's form. It is no insult, but merely a stated fact.

[goldentheater]

If you do not desire it, why do you allow yourself to be ruled by it?

[She legit does not get it.]

[penisenvy]

Would you not focus on removing something that impedes your progress?

[goldentheater]

Of course. Have I not been asking the same of you this whole time?

[penisenvy]

I thought not acknowledging your faults was what slowed one down. I have identified my faults. All that remains is finding a way to remove them without ruining this body Father gave me.

[goldentheater]

Hm... I suppose it depends on what one defines as a fault. [Because she's Nero.] In any case, your words seem contradictory, do they not? Either alteration to your body is ruining it or it is not. If you truly don't want to see your body tarnished, simply refuse to allow other people to misclassify you as something you are not.

[penisenvy]

[She doesn't like to be told that she has contradictions in her philosophy, but this woman does seem to make some sort of sense. Slowly, she raises a hand and touches it to her chest.]

But then...how would a woman be the perfect clone of a man?

[goldentheater]

Is it truly necessary for you to be a "perfect clone"? As I said before, you should take pride in your individuality. In any case, even if you are a woman in body, your soul and your spirit are another matter entirely. It's no problem of yours if other people mistakenly believe that all three must be in harmony.

[penisenvy]

Yes, because the people of Britian will not accept anything less. Because the sword that chooses kings will never choose anything less.

How would you call soul and spirit different things?

[goldentheater]

I believe there's a modern expression that goes something like, "What they don't know won't hurt them."

Hm... I believe the simplest way to explain the difference would be that your spirit is your heart, whereas your soul is where your heart resides. [She nods to herself, evidently satisfied with this explanation.]

[penisenvy]

Then I wish to have the spirit of a man, so my body will follow it.

[Sadly, she has to admit there are some parts of her spirit that she would call feminine.]

[goldentheater]

Hm... I doubt it's so simple.

[penisenvy]

I have heard from my mun that with manly spirit, this...gar, as you might call it, you can bend anything to your will. If that is the case, then I wish to develop gar so I might make my body into that of a man.

[goldentheater]

...

I'm unsure if I should tell you that I believe your mun may have been exaggerating or ask to hear more.

[penisenvy]

Even if she was, gar is also supposed to be used to describe Heroic Spirits. At times their abilities go beyond the simple constraint of their noble phantasms to achieve gar. The smaller likelyhood of success, the more likely they will succeed, especially if they scream loudly as they do it.

[Whether she honestly believes this or if she just repeats it to herself because doing otherwise would mean to give up all hope of changing her body is up for debate.]