On the new Gaming Heads statue

[bring_the_beatdown]

Lady, I cannot believe you paid that friggen much for some lame statue of Sniper. Sniper! I mean, come on, who wants that piss-soaked lame-o on their shelves anyway.

So here's the new plan. You cancel this order, and save your money for when they make a statue of yours truly. I'm sure they're just saving the best for last, gotta get my handsome good looks perfect. Or maybe all the ladies painting them got so enamored they took alla the little me's home.

And then I can sit on your desk next to that wannabe Batman and the creepy Nazi zombie guy. Except I'll be a million times cooler, and awesomer and way more sexy.

This is the best plan. Didja write it down so you don't forget? Because I can say it again if you missed anything.

Comments

[notintehkitchen]

You? Sexy?

[And in comparison to Mr. Hawk? Ohoho, watch her laugh but attempt to cover it politely with her hand.]

[bring_the_beatdown]

Yea!

[He puffs out his chest, all macho.]

Who wouldn't want a statue of me?

[notintehkitchen]

[Damn.]

...My mun wants a statue of you but if she gets one of you before she does of me, I will be angry.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Ah, no sweat, I bet I come out last anyway. Gotta hold the good stuff till the end you know.

[notintehkitchen]

You are really full of yourself.

...

Not that me telling you that is going to make you realize it.

[bring_the_beatdown]

I have every reason ta be, sweetcheeks.

'Sides, you say it like it's a bad thing.

[notintehkitchen]

It is a bad thing--and don't call me sweetcheeks.

With that attitude of yours girls will only disappear.

[bring_the_beatdown]

No they won't! I got girls crawlin' all over ..

Why would they disappear?

[notintehkitchen]

You're still just a boy. Maybe when you get some rugged good--pfft. Nevermind. I don't see that happening.

[You can never be Engie to Pyro.]

[bring_the_beatdown]

I'm nineteen!

Maybe when I get some what?

[notintehkitchen]

Can a boy like you even grow facial hair?

[bring_the_beatdown]

YEAH.

[Ha, ha. Nope.]

Hey, you were all up on me in that Paradise place. So I'm doing something right.

[notintehkitchen]

[THOUGHT SO.]

I adopted you and took you home. That's different.

[bring_the_beatdown]

And then you took your clothes off.

So like, you do that with everyone or just special people like me?

[notintehkitchen]

I took my suit off. Not everything.

It's not like that.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Yeah yeah, you and Sniper. I know.

[Just crush his dreams and all.]

So how come not everyone adopts me and takes me home?

[notintehkitchen]

... know what?

Because you've got a big mouth.

[bring_the_beatdown]

'Bout you two.

[Which is the only reason he's not attempting to flirt/grope/or otherwise harass her.]

So? Mebbe I just got lots to say.

[notintehkitchen]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Right.]

Most of the time, it isn't worth hearing.

[bring_the_beatdown]

What? Everything about me is worth hearing.

What do you talk about to people?

[notintehkitchen]

Maybe your cries when you're lit on fire are worth hearing. Those are pleasant to me.

[Not creepy at all.]

I prefer to talk to Jell-O.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Dude.

Dude.

Not cool.

[quickly]

Whatever, lamewad --

If anyone's gonna actually think yer handsome, they've gotta be blind.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Psh. Like they'd even look twice at your slow-ass.

[quickly]

Slow?

Heh. I think yer the one that needs t're-evaluate the word 'slow' 'n it's meanin'.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Psh. Guess your brains are 'bout as stupid as your face.

[quickly]

Least my face is good lookin', unlike yours!

You look like a pile'a crap dragged in by a mangy dog, dude.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Uh-huh, sure pally. You're jus' jealous that the ladies love this and then take one look at you and scream and run away.

Those statues are the shiz-nit.

[defendnhills]

[Eyes you from under his helmet.]

What she NEEDS is the most handsome of the who collection.

ME.

Arn't they just? *sparkly eyes of love*

[bring_the_beatdown]

Yeah well, she didn't buy you neither. Just stupid friggin Snipes.

Heh, I'm surprised yer statue don't give lectures. Like you push the button in back and it starts talking about Shit-zu or something.

I <3 my Solly statue, it sits in a place of great honor. Totally worth it.

[defendnhills]

[FROWN.] Sun Tzu.

Scout. Mark this day on the CALENDAR because that is the BEST idea you have ever come up with and I highly doubt we shall see another like it in YEARS.

... Medic's statue GLOWED for Christsake. MINE SHOULD GIVE SPEECHES.

I wish I could afford them all. Alas.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Yeah?

I mean, Yeah! That's right. I'm a friggin genius. So you know, you should write down all my words of wisdom. Keep it close for inspiration.

Heavy's should have come with a fridge.

Our house is forced to choose their favorites. :/

[defendnhills]

Eh. An extra HEAD isn't that bad of an option. HEADS ARE GOOD COLLECTIBLES.

Someday. SOMEDAY THEY WILL ALL BE MINE.

[bring_the_beatdown]

They're .. no they're not! They're all gross and smelly. And that's his head. That's just nasty.

Like I don't want an extra head of mine laying around. That shit is creepy.