dear_mun | no medic, this isn't how you ask for castmates. [havenrpg]

It is so hard to believe that Hanukkah is already upon us once again, and that Smissmas will follow in a few weeks. How time flies! It feels like only yesterday that I was picking glass shards out of my neck from that ornament that awful little BLU Scout lobbed at me. I know you have your thoughts on what the newest update will bring for me, what kind of wonderful new spielsachen I will be gifted this year, but bitte, try to contain yourself. We can both agree that I have been somewhat naughty this year, so I might not receive anything at all. I know, it breaks your heart. You must prepare for the inevitable crushing disappointment regardless.

[he claps his hands together with a big smile.]

But enough of that! Let's talk about my favorite holiday instead. We have seven days left, and considering you already gave me the gift of mediocrity by forgetting that the festivities started last night, now is the perfect time to redeem yourself. Luckily for you, only seven of my teammates remain. What I am suggesting is that you -

...Well, I'm sure you can figure it out yourself. If gathering them up proves to be too difficult for you, we can always settle on...alternatives. For example, what would you do with a second kidney? Absolutely nothing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Isn't he dead? It would be hard to do much gift giving and cheer-spreading from the bottom of a shallow grave.

I'm not believing that until I see his corpse for myself.

So go do some digging in the parking lot behind that department store. I assume that is where the BLUs dumped him at.

Even if they did dump him there, you think he just stayed dead? He's been alive for over a hundred years. If time didn't kill him, I'm not convinced they could, either.

Then the task falls on our shoulders if he returns this year for revenge.

... You're suggesting we kill Old Nick.

[Marvel at his disbelief.]

Ja. And to make sure he stays dead, we burn the body and dispose of the ashes accordingly.

And that's somehow gonna stop him from comin' after us next year.

I don't hear you contributing with better ideas! Somehow I doubt he is stupid enough to discriminate between BLU and RED, so there is a good chance he will attack us directly regardless of what we've done. What will you do then?

Nothin'. I've got not reason to hide from him. I haven't been naughty.

[Who's he kidding? He's going to flee and maybe fire from his safe perch five miles thataway.]

...Sniper.

[so very disapproving.]

What? I haven't.

Let me put it this way: if you were a child, your arsch would double as a passport from all the flying you would be doing to the South Pole and back.

Oh, come on! You name one thing I've done in the past year that'd put me on his naughty list.

[uh oh.]

You left your arrowheads wedged between the couches in 2Fort where anyone could sit on them.

[He should be afraid.]

I've been wondering where those were.

That's an accident. Doesn't count.

You made some offhand comment to Scout about how Heavy's fists were actually made of ham and that was why he wore boxing gloves, which prompted him to ask Heavy if that was true.

He couldn't eat solid foods for a week after that.

Edited 2012-12-10 05:42 (UTC)

[He nearly chokes on a laugh, stifling it down with a single snort.]

It was a joke. Not my fault the kid took it seriously.

And was leaving one of your jars in the icebox just a joke as well?

[because out of all of Sniper's awful, evil deeds, that one stung the most.]

[Oh, laughing time over now.]

No. I needed it frozen.

It was August. You know how hot it gets in New Mexico at the end of summer.

Do you know what the preferred drink is when it gets that hot, Herr Mundy?

Edited 2012-12-10 06:17 (UTC)

[Uh oh.]

... Water?

[totally up in Sniper's grill smiling that creepy twitchy grin help]

Lemonade, Herr.

[close to Sniper's ear now.]

Lemonade.

[Oh god leave him alone you are seriously in his personal space and that smile is creeping him out EVERYTHING IS SCARY.]

Er, right. My mistake. Won't, um. Do it again.

[Iiiiiiinching away from Medic now.]

[and just like that, he bounces back on his heel to give Sniper some space, hands folded behind his back, a cheery smile on his face.]

Come to think of it, you would make excellent bait to lure Old Nick out. We would just have to find a way to disguise you as a child.

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