help me voice testing is hard

[thatbastard]

I suppose you'd like me to thank you for such an insightful fucking username. Or for not making me share a face with bleedin' 007. It's him you wouldn't be doing a favor, there. I imagine he's got enough problems without being pegged for my numerous good deeds.

Well, piss off. I'm not mad, or grateful, or anything. Not even real, am I? You can't listen to Alan Moore. That man's a nutter.

Comments

[ahandinthedark]

[The Stranger is not particularly well-versed in the ways of affection or showing it. He is, however, especially fond of John, Boston, and Zatanna. Even though only 2/3 of them really bother to lend a hand and follow where he leads.]

That is not something I am able to divulge. I am not a friend, only a Stranger.

[thatbastard]

[ Gosh, which 2/3 could that be? ]

Yeah, yeah. Won't expect a Christmas card. I'll leave out some coal-shaped biscuits, though.

[ahandinthedark]

[Deadman, that scamp! Always off doing his own thing, harassing those Batmen and whatnot...]

I like butterscotch. [He would.]

[thatbastard]

[ Irresponsible, that's what Deadman is. No sense of obligation or duty. ]

Duly noted, granddad.

[ Seriously Phantom Stranger, would you like some Werther's Originals in a bowl while you're at it. ]

[ahandinthedark]

[Tbh it feels like this thread is apt punishment for all the times I've made the Werther's Originals joke. MIGHT AS WELL JUST BE WRITING FANFIC!!]

I am glad you have come to think of me as family, Constantine. [He's probably joking. (And he keeps them in his pockets so they are slightly warm and melt easier in his mouth.)]

[thatbastard]

[ Suffer justly, then. Especially for the pockets thing. ]

Well, god knows you've been around long enough. You could have thousands of bastard children scattered through history for all I know. Be nice to have someone to blame this all on.

[ahandinthedark]

[This is just how the Stranger enjoys his treats, alright? Let an elderly man enjoy his sweets on his own terms!]

I do not indulge in that, John Constantine.

[thatbastard]

[ John is gonna sneak a condom in there with them, will he still enjoy a butterscotch candy if it's stuck to a foil wrapper? ]

That so? You live and learn. I'll put it in me file. "Likes: butterscotch, puns, savin' it for Jesus. Dislikes: copulation, extended conversations." And you say you're not a friend.

[ahandinthedark]

[It shouldn't take long to pry it off. Just don't pay attention to him. If you don't acknowledge him and give him the negative attention he craves, he'll stop. (Eventually.)]

I did not say that I disliked copulation, John Constantine. I just do not have the ability to do so at this current stage of my life. [The pun part is true, however.]