help me voice testing is hard

[thatbastard]

I suppose you'd like me to thank you for such an insightful fucking username. Or for not making me share a face with bleedin' 007. It's him you wouldn't be doing a favor, there. I imagine he's got enough problems without being pegged for my numerous good deeds.

Well, piss off. I'm not mad, or grateful, or anything. Not even real, am I? You can't listen to Alan Moore. That man's a nutter.

Comments

[hexappeal]

I liked you better when you were Sting.

[thatbastard]

Yeah, I'll bet. What's not to like?

[hexappeal]

I also just like being contrary for the sake of being contrary.

You'd have worn it, admit it.

[thatbastard]

You're a woman of many layers, it's true.

I'm afraid to ask under what circumstances you're imagining this. A desperate need to attract magpies to my cock?

[hexappeal]

I'm flattered that you think so highly of me.

Why, John! You should know better than to think that I would kink shame you.

[thegrifter]

Hey, it's better than mine. You always complain this much?

[Comics Constantine? Yes!]

[thatbastard]

Well, yours is a job title and mine's me given first name. Given to me by loads of people, I should say. We're about on level.

[thegrifter]

"Timmy fell down the well! Call That Bastard!" Guess it's got a ring to it.

[thatbastard]

I can see how you'd mistake these shampoo commercial locks for that of a collie, but I've never rescued a slow child from any water system. On the other hand, I could certainly see you serving up a good three card monte.

[thegrifter]

[A chuckle.] Me? A street hustler? Yeah, not quite.

[notthedoctor]

[There's someone he hasn't seen in roughly forever. Not on the Charon, that ship of horrors he's now on, but elsewhere. Not this Constantine either, but in the end, aren't they all one?]

It could always be worse. Not sure how, but it could be! Better to be remembered somehow than forgotten.

[thatbastard]

Forgotten might be best. But thanks for the words of wisdom. I'm heartwarmed. Or possibly that's just heartburn.

[notthedoctor]

Heartburn most likely! They have things for that now. I've heard they're very effective.

[A quick grin and eyes that have seen too much on John and then elsewhere. Even he doesn't look at the Hellblazer for too long. There are things that lie beyond the circle of even Time Lords, or half Time Lords. Too often those things like the darkness and have sharp teeth.]

I would ask how you ended up here in the mid-worlds, but I don't think I'd like the answer.

[thatbastard]

[ The inattention — deliberate, he thinks — is interesting. Combined with his manner, it has the taste of cultivated absentmindedness. ]

The world's never solid, squire. It's only an illusion, you can walk right through the holes whether you mean to or not. But I suppose you know that.

[notthedoctor]

[A scratch of the back of his head follows, the grin not wavering. It was as if they were two people meeting on High Street, not in other places.]

You might say that I know a little something about it. Would it be too forward to ask how you've been, what you've been up to?

[There's a care not to press, not to ask questions no one wanted the answers to.]

[ahandinthedark]

Good evening, John Constantine.

You are always real somewhere. One would assume that by now you would remember something like that.

[thatbastard]

Blow me, you're around. And don't get all cutesy metaphysical with me. Or do you enjoy having a hand up your arse? Don't answer that.

[ahandinthedark]

I am always around. [This is the face of an ethereal being that plays Candyland with Hal Jordan's niece.] There was somewhere I was meant to be, but it would seem that my history is more convoluted than the one behind me is willing to tackle -- at least in a short period of time.

It really is unfortunate. I do always enjoy showing up just in time for an end of the world celebration.

[thatbastard]

You've only got yourself to blame, you inscrutable bastard. [ This is Constantine's version of a slap on the back. Just roll with it. ] I thought my past was complicated, but it's not even a century long.

— Wait, end of the world? You were going to gatecrash some other world's apocalypse? Is that what you do for fun?

[ahandinthedark]

I did not know you cared, John Constantine. [He's pretty fond of John. He steps over the line more than he should for him, even if he doesn't seem to appreciate it.] My history is all history. It is ever-changing and I am a part of all universes. I must walk, still. My journey is far from its end.

[He blinks.] The Mayan Calendar. I was to lead a grand plot. And it is not entertaining in any light; it is suffering and the sound of true quiet and alone. But I must lay witness to each end.

Post necromancy!

[aceofkillers]

Yeah? Name two guys that ever suffered from listenin' to Alan Moore.

...Besides their sanity, anyways.

[thatbastard]

The way I hear it, the man can talk your ear off. Course, the sanity probably goes first, so it's not like you'd mind.

[aceofkillers]

Way I heard, it's worth the loss. Might just be 'cause my writer was always admiring/jealous as hell of the guy, but I like thinkin' the biases average out.

[thatbastard]

There are some enviable things about him. For instance, his private pot farm.

[aceofkillers]

Not my personal pick of poison, but I'll admit to appreciatin' The Beard.

Say, you're the fancy magic-guy, you're probably the best to ask on this one. Is it true, the story about how he's got a Great Old One hidden in that facial forest that whispers to him while he's sleeping?

And he returns the favor when it's taking a nap?