help me voice testing is hard

[thatbastard]

I suppose you'd like me to thank you for such an insightful fucking username. Or for not making me share a face with bleedin' 007. It's him you wouldn't be doing a favor, there. I imagine he's got enough problems without being pegged for my numerous good deeds.

Well, piss off. I'm not mad, or grateful, or anything. Not even real, am I? You can't listen to Alan Moore. That man's a nutter.

Comments

[hexappeal]

I liked you better when you were Sting.

[thatbastard]

Yeah, I'll bet. What's not to like?

[hexappeal]

I also just like being contrary for the sake of being contrary.

You'd have worn it, admit it.

[thatbastard]

You're a woman of many layers, it's true.

I'm afraid to ask under what circumstances you're imagining this. A desperate need to attract magpies to my cock?

[hexappeal]

I'm flattered that you think so highly of me.

Why, John! You should know better than to think that I would kink shame you.

[thatbastard]

It ain't shame, love, you're free to fantasize about whatever you wish, up to and including a re-enactment of The Birds starring my nether regions. Though I hope we're on better terms than that.

... we are, right? [ CONSTANTINE'S LIFE: he actually has to check. ]

[thegrifter]

Hey, it's better than mine. You always complain this much?

[Comics Constantine? Yes!]

[thatbastard]

Well, yours is a job title and mine's me given first name. Given to me by loads of people, I should say. We're about on level.

[thegrifter]

"Timmy fell down the well! Call That Bastard!" Guess it's got a ring to it.

[notthedoctor]

[There's someone he hasn't seen in roughly forever. Not on the Charon, that ship of horrors he's now on, but elsewhere. Not this Constantine either, but in the end, aren't they all one?]

It could always be worse. Not sure how, but it could be! Better to be remembered somehow than forgotten.

[hexappeal]

Again, thinking of me. I'm touched. That being said, I'd be more inclined to exact revenge myself than allow an animal to. If there's anywhere in my life that I feel I should indulge in further, it's harassing you.

And we're fine. [UNSURES, THOUGH. :|a] Is there a reason we shouldn't be?

[thatbastard]

Well, I'd be mad to say no to that.

[ Cue a moment of automatic shiftiness at the question, but he can't think of anything in particular. Which is not to say there couldn't be something. There could always be something. It's him, after all. ]

No? You know how it is, I never write, I never call, I never rope you into horrible demonic rituals which imperil the world's safety. Inconsiderate, like.

[thatbastard]

I can see how you'd mistake these shampoo commercial locks for that of a collie, but I've never rescued a slow child from any water system. On the other hand, I could certainly see you serving up a good three card monte.

[thatbastard]

Forgotten might be best. But thanks for the words of wisdom. I'm heartwarmed. Or possibly that's just heartburn.

[notthedoctor]

Heartburn most likely! They have things for that now. I've heard they're very effective.

[A quick grin and eyes that have seen too much on John and then elsewhere. Even he doesn't look at the Hellblazer for too long. There are things that lie beyond the circle of even Time Lords, or half Time Lords. Too often those things like the darkness and have sharp teeth.]

I would ask how you ended up here in the mid-worlds, but I don't think I'd like the answer.

[thatbastard]

[ The inattention — deliberate, he thinks — is interesting. Combined with his manner, it has the taste of cultivated absentmindedness. ]

The world's never solid, squire. It's only an illusion, you can walk right through the holes whether you mean to or not. But I suppose you know that.

[hexappeal]

Oh, it would just depend exactly how that harassment goes. Just be glad that I like you most of the time.

[She's frankly not shocked that it takes a moment to answer a question that should have been a simple answer, but it could be worse. He could have said there was.]

And I can teleport and regularly perform in London. I'd say I'm just as inconsiderate. Then again, you're always busy. Always jetting off to wherever, dumping pre-teen magicians off on my doorstep and the like. You're clearly the more busy and important of the two of us.

[ahandinthedark]

Good evening, John Constantine.

You are always real somewhere. One would assume that by now you would remember something like that.

[thatbastard]

You're only the den mother for a superhero boy scout troupe. I thought you'd appreciate a genuine boy for a change. And you did, didn't you? Nice kid. Probably going to end the world on accident some day, but nice kid.

[thatbastard]

Blow me, you're around. And don't get all cutesy metaphysical with me. Or do you enjoy having a hand up your arse? Don't answer that.

[hexappeal]

Hey, hey, hey. As much as I like some of them, don't lump us all together.

That being said, yeah. I like him and I liked Molly. Tim's a good kid. It just would've been nice of you to put some effort into his training. You know, like helping him beat E's ass or letting him crash at your place for a while. That sort of thing.

[notthedoctor]

[A scratch of the back of his head follows, the grin not wavering. It was as if they were two people meeting on High Street, not in other places.]

You might say that I know a little something about it. Would it be too forward to ask how you've been, what you've been up to?

[There's a care not to press, not to ask questions no one wanted the answers to.]

[ahandinthedark]

I am always around. [This is the face of an ethereal being that plays Candyland with Hal Jordan's niece.] There was somewhere I was meant to be, but it would seem that my history is more convoluted than the one behind me is willing to tackle -- at least in a short period of time.

It really is unfortunate. I do always enjoy showing up just in time for an end of the world celebration.

[thatbastard]

Now that is impossible. Couldn't lump you together with another soul in the world. Don't make me flatter you more, we'll both get cavities.

[ The idea that he should have trained Tim more makes John laugh in a strangled way. He assumes she's joking, but has a horrible suspicion she may not be, at least a little. ]

Zee, come on. I thought you said you liked him. I couldn't keep a puppy alive for three days, let alone a student. Little bastard almost got me killed, I'll have you know. Took me straight to hell, then bluffed us back out. Important part is that he knows he shouldn't be anything like me. I wouldn't begrudge him a place to stay, but he's never come knocking. Keen on not contracting lung cancer, I expect.

[hexappeal]

I've got time. If you want to spend it on wooing me, that's up to you.

[There is a fraction of seriousness to her words and she's a little surprised (pleasantly) that he bothered to address them instead of disappearing into the night!!!]

You know what I mean, John. He could use another role model other than Magician That Makes Stupid Decisions While Drinking Very Expensive Wine -- which is me, by the way -- and you know it. I'm not saying you play Dad, just to reach out every now and then. He's still pissed at me and you know the paths he has the potential of walking.