Identity crisis. Castmates of both canons welcome.

[skullcrushingthighs]

...Huh. You say you are player but you are called mun. Alright then. Why do you not think Zangief is bad guy? I am bad guy! I am massive, fighting machine! I crush men's skulls between my thighs like sparrow's egg! What does Zangief have to do for you to call him bad guy? Zangief is good guy, why Zangief crush men's skulls like sparrow's egg between his thighs? ...What do you mean Zangief is only bad guy in adaptations? Zangief is from game!

Comments

[casanovakitty]

Hm Well well someone sounds rather desperate. Trying to prove how badass you are, are you?

[skullcrushingthighs]

...oh, look at you, being all teen-rated and edgy with your profanity. Zangief knows he is badass. But Player One up there says Zangief is not bad guy. As in, antagonist. The black in the black and white morality on which the escape of arcade gaming rests. The thing that makes gaming catharsis, that keeps the Players coming back.

[casanovakitty]

Oh no if I wanted to be edgy I'd be trying harder, like swearing in different languages. I can manage a little Russian if you'd like.

Hmm yes muns seem to have their ideas about us, and we don't always agree. Unfortunately there's not much we can do about it. Yelling and picking a fight certainly won't help.

and erm....okay either you're actually a video game character or you've got some massive delusions going on there mate. Might want to see a doctor about those.

[skullcrushingthighs]

...Yes, I am video game character. My player says he... hacked me into this game. On purpose. Have you ever heard of Street Fighter II? Zangief is Bison's right hand from that game. Representative in tournament from Mother Russia. I love the job. Lots of fighting, lots of skull-crushing, and good dental too.

[casanovakitty]

*snaps fingers in recognition* street fighter,,,,oh yeah! I played that a few times, when I was a kid.

only time I could ever beat up some of my larger cousins

[skullcrushingthighs]

[He chuckles]
Really? Who did you usually use?

[casanovakitty]

....um...huh...the meditation fellow I think..Dhalsim

learned the moves backwards and forwards until I could beat Logan....Led him to twist my arm backwards after...but the satisfaction of winning soothed my sore muscles.

[skullcrushingthighs]

Perhaps Zangief could help you learn to really fight. Zangief learned from being bullied as child.

[highclassgal]

You come from a violent game? I know someone who would love you, bad guy or not.

[skullcrushingthighs]

Well, it's no Mortal Kombat, but yes, Street Fighter II is... how would ESRB put it... animated violence.

[highclassgal]

Violent but not TOO violent, eh? That sounds nice. So are you looking for a game here that could provide a similar sort of entertainment?

[skullcrushingthighs]

I suppose it would be nice to fight again, yes. Well, other than with this player who insists I am good guy, that is.

[highclassgal]

[giggles] But you do seem like a good guy to me!

[absolute_kold]

[Just stare. Was that a crack at his world, Zan?]

[skullcrushingthighs]

Not that anything is wrong with Mortal Kombat, is just not my area of expertise. Am better at injuring outside of body, not inside.

WELP

[roadblasted]

... Wow, do you ALWAYS talk like that? Because holy hotrods that's ANNOYING!
I think you might've crushed your OWN skull between your thighs! Hahaha~!

Re: WELP

[skullcrushingthighs]

[Turbo was a bit before Zangief's time- 1987 was when it happened, and everyone thought he was dead. Zangief showed up at Litwak's in 1991 at the earliest, so he doesn't know him on sight.]
Я гораздо более красноречивый и болтливый в качестве докладчика в моем родном русском языке.
[He pauses.]
English is second language, идиот. Zangief is better at the speaking and word picking in his native Russian, but not many others speak it around here.

[letsgoladies]

Hey even bad guys can be interesting, actually if your enemy isn't at least a little ruthless then there's no challenge in it.

Although I've never seen a man's skull crushed like an egg between someone's thighs...sounds impressive.

[skullcrushingthighs]

Is one of my special moves. Great finisher.
[He slaps his thigh self-depreciatively]
And not too difficult, when you are built like Zangief, heh.

[letsgoladies]

I prefer guns myself, but you must have thighs of steel.

On second thought I don't want to think about that.

[notaglitch]

Pffftftfff, yannow- ..you look like yer just about as bad'a'guy as Ralph is, and he's just a big ol' teddy bear. But I'm sure you're already pretty familiar with how he is, huh big guy?

[skullcrushingthighs]

Ah, Ralph, yes. Came to Bad-Anon once in the 30 years, and goes out and restores your kingdom. Quite a guy, Ralph. Though Zangief must remind him next time he must bind man and steal clothes, not to leave man in my spare wrestling trunks.

[notaglitch]

Yeah, I don't think there's many people out there that can say they did all that pretty much in what-

Two days? ...

[She pauses, blinking a few times.]

Wait, what?

[She's not sure if she heard that last part right.]

[skullcrushingthighs]

...A Hero's Duty marine was found unconscious in the closet of Tapper's afterwards... and Ralph had shoved him into my spare trunks.
[He chuckles]
Had to walk the sap home so he could get fresh clothes back.

[notaglitch]

[There's a beat before Vanellope bursts into totally uncontrollable laughter at that.]

W-wow! Yannow, somehow I'm not surprised!! ...Sounds like Ralph wanted that stupid ol' medal really badly.

[Really badly.]

Let's just say for the duration of the thread that Spidey's from Marvel Vs. Capcom

[arach_nerd]

...but you aren't a bad guy.

Re: Let's just say for the duration of the thread that Spidey's from Marvel Vs. Capcom

[skullcrushingthighs]

...Who in the world are you, and how do you know Zangief?

[arach_nerd]

Spider-Man. I'm from Marvel Vs. Capcom.

[skullcrushingthighs]

...A sequel. Interesting... That would lend credence, but... the only explanation then, is just slightly less scary. Someone's been messing in the game code...

[arach_nerd]

Or you're from the game that was based on the movie.

[skullcrushingthighs]

[He shakes his head.]
I am from Street Fighter II. I know that much, Spider-Man. Says it in big flashing letters at Game Central Station.

More Marvel vs. Capcom shenanigans!

[flyonadog]

Man, there's a face I haven't seen in a long time. Kinda surprised you didn't make it into our last crossover, big guy.