musing on recent(ish) drop & missing.

[couldbeavoided]

I hope you know what you want is impossible.

I don't deserve any of their forgiveness, and I don't think I've earned the right to another chance, either. I made a lot of promises. They trusted me and I lied when I said I was better. You shouldn't--

...

I don't even know how many people that I... that he... I let them all down.

What kind of hero can't win against his own villain?

Comments

[asongwithin]

[Jean gives him a sad, gentle smile.]

More than you'd think.

[couldbeavoided]

[ Jean no. 8( ]

I hope not.

[asongwithin]

[Suffice to say, Bob, she knows that feel :c]

The important part is what comes next.

[couldbeavoided]

I don't know what happens next. [ That's not necessarily true, but it's a slightly more optimistic spin. ] ... How many terrible things can a person be responsible for, and still be considered a hero?

[asongwithin]

[After a moment, quite and blunt.] I destroyed a planet.

[It's not completely true. But it was part of her, and it was what she could have done, and it will always, always haunt her.]

Nothing - you don't really make up for that.

What you can do is...is make sure that they didn't die for nothing. Make sure that it matters that you came back from that.

[A slight shrug.] I don't think it matters if we're heroes or not.

[couldbeavoided]

I'm sure I'd do something like that, one day. I mean... [ Sighs, so complicate. ] He would. I know what's supposed to happen to me, eventually. I thought that I could change my future.

[ nope.jpg, canon point torments. ]

In the end everyone else was right not to trust me.

[asongwithin]

I've had a lot of people tell me what's supposed to happen. That doesn't mean it does.

[Just for a moment, her hair lifts, and her eyes turn gold.]

We don't just accept our fate. We take control. Sometimes that means accepting part of ourselves we never wanted.

[invoking]

But that...

That wasn't you. [ He doesn't want to believe it, okay. :( ]

[couldbeavoided]

[ Oh how does he even... ]

I'm sorry.

[invoking]

You don't--

You shouldn't have to say that.

[couldbeavoided]

It's my fault. I'm responsible for what he does. I'm the only one who...

[ He's not, really. He can't stop the Void, can he? He never before; not forever. ]

I should have done something sooner.

[invoking]

I'm sure you tried.

What... was he? It?

[couldbeavoided]

The Void, he's--

He wasn't supposed to be there at all. [ Hesitantly: ] He's a part of me.

[professorlionface]

Not all villains are created equal. Certainly, we'd like to think we can always prevail despite how the odds are stacked against us, but circumstances conspire against us.

I'm sorry I couldn't have done more.

[couldbeavoided]

Don't be sorry. I'm the one that should have done more.

[professorlionface]

Perhaps, but we could have paid better attention. We should have realized something was wrong sooner.

[couldbeavoided]

I don't know what you could have done. [ A pause. ] I can't rely on other people for help with this... this problem.

[professorlionface]

I don't know. I could have been a better friend, perhaps. Offered my support, looked into ways to ease the situation peacefully.

You don't have to necessarily rely on us, but you didn't need to suffer it alone, either.

[couldbeavoided]

You were a good friend, Hank. I'm the one who let you down.

[olympic_lion]

[Nope, Herc is completely unable to have any pity for this schlub. He took down the Shining City out of someone else's spite. And if Herc had been there, he would've done his level best to kick the man's 'little suns' until they exploded.]

No kind worth having. In the end, Reynolds, you did vastly more ill than good- and with that as the case, the best you could do now is just to stay gone.

[couldbeavoided]

You don't have to worry. I don't want to make the same mistakes again. I--

[ What can he say. ]

I'm sorry it went as far as it did.

[olympic_lion]

Not sorry enough to stop. Not sorry enough at all.

And dealing with your all-new mistakes is no better, boy. This world is no longer for you.

[couldbeavoided]

I'm not expecting forgiveness. Or a second chance. I'm just sorry.

[olympic_lion]

Yes. Yes, you are.

And given the circumstances, letting you lay about and feel sorry for yourself is the best that can be hoped for.

[couldbeavoided]

I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry that I let down the people who trusted me.