loud, homeless, omg.

[perimetercheck]

Alright, soldier. I'm not going to question your judgment because I can tell from the other inhabitants in this dump you call a mind that it's poor. This sorry bunch of sissies and panty-waists would never last five minutes in a Cybug invasion. Don't siddle up to a game you don't have the quarters for, sister.

Right now, your resources are low! Do you think you're playing some platformer? Even those giggly little racer girls need their cars. You need to find me a base of operations, more icons with which to intimidate the enemy, and it needs to be done before you can even think of putting me out on point.

Are we clear?

Good. Now get out there and get yourself ready for war, marine! Don't be a big girl's blouse about it, just do it!

[ Spoilers will probably be all over comments, you are warned. ]

Comments

[icanfixit]

Golly, there's another Calhoun.

[Not that he minds! But he clears his throat.]

Mun's a peculiar people, ma'am! From what I know so far at least...

[perimetercheck]

Felix--

[ Uh, crap. Felix. Think quick. ]

Well, so far they are. And they don't know what they're doing, either.

Wow typing on my phone was terrible on my last post, my bad!

[icanfixit]

[He still smiles none the less.]

Mine's the same way! But I am flattered. Plus, I'm not surprised they picked you up! After all, you're a pretty dynamite gal.

it's fine!

[perimetercheck]

[ ...oh god he said those words. Felix you adorable blue collar man stop saying those two words. She gets all weird and wibbly inside. ]

Flattered. Well, you're a stand up man, for a civilian. [ WELL THAT WAS A BRILLIANT THING TO SAY CALHOUN. ]

[thespartan]

[Here is someone. Seven feet tall, armored with a weapon in hand standing.]

Pretty severe way to be talking to your superior officer ma'am.

[perimetercheck]

She's not my superior officer. Not yet. I'm not signing on a hitch with someone who can't prove they're capable of making the tough calls, of supplying their troops and making sure the men are seen to.

Besides, her barracks are plenty full, if you get my drift. I'm hardly the only hanging around this post.

[thespartan]

So you're looking for an assignment and she's not.. [slowly] obliging you?

[perimetercheck]

She's got to outfit me first, before I go anywhere. I'm not going out there wrapped in tissue paper, son. There are worse things in these games than Cybugs... and I honestly didn't think that was possible.

[keepsthemsafe]

Somebody'sfuckin' fired up.

[perimetercheck]

Wouldn't you be? Picked up like some cheap dock hopper and dropped into a mess of miscreants who wet themselves at the sight of automatic weapon? To do what? Wars aren't won't sitting our our well-armed keisters, son.

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane looks amused. beyond amused.] Wasn't aware we were at war persay. [Running yes, hiding, actual war? Shit.] Arm me ma'am and I'll be happy to see some action.

[He's not armored but he looks like he could handle it.]

[perimetercheck]

First you need to get yourself to a quartermaster and get your kit. You can't go to the front looking like that. They'll rip you to pieces.

[puzzlemethis]

Now now, don't be harsh on your Mun. I'm sure they're doing the best they can offer at the moment.

[perimetercheck]

Their best won't save the lives of me or my men! Some of these places don't even give you the courtesy of a proper respawn point!

[dwightandclean]

[Slightly wide eyes before he looks at his own mun for a second then back at Calhoun.]

Mind tellin' my mun that? I think she missed the memo on 'think before apping'.

[perimetercheck]

Handle your own business, marine! If you can't manage your own mun, you're not going to last very long.

[dwightandclean]

[Just an easy smile.]

Ranger. Not Marine.

[perimetercheck]

Ranger. [ She grunts and nods. ]

I'm so very, very sorry

[turbug]

ha... ha... HE H̭͎͂͜E̤̥̖̗͚̺̺̅̇̍̒͠ H̨̻͚̭̙̣̹̀͆̾̀̂E̲̪̣͇̰̖̮ͭ͛͋́ ̩͇̣̹͔͍̯̌̆̿̓ͦ̈́̕H̶̱̱͉̣̠͗E͚̭̭̤̙̮.͖̟̯̲͓̖͑ͬ͗́͛̽͛́.͉̱͍͕͇̐̄̆.̴͉͇̙̺̙́ͥ͐͋ͦͅ.̆ͮ̅͑ͯ̓͒̕

Ȳ̔ͣͮ͆̚͏OUͪ̀ͫͦ̒҉̫̘ ̞͌̎ͦ̅̋̃ͦ͘Ṡ͉̺̙̭ͫͮ͜O͈ͫ̈̅̍Ü̺̗̱̭̓̚ͅN̞̓͒̏ͅD͖̘ͭ͌ͥ̄͗ ̺́ͦ͢F́͋̒͐ͦ̓ͧA̻̱̝̮̙ͩͤ̏M̙ͭÏ͚͙̉̈͌L͇̘̦͔̰͉̣ͬ͟Î̜̙̦̺A̼̦͍̠͙̥̗R̡̝̊.̅̍͐͏͚̳̟̲.͉͖̰͓̩͙̱̌̀.̭̩̙̮̓̂̇ͣ̃̆.͇̖̋!͙͈͇̥͗̽̍ͪ̊̋

i'm not come atme bro.

[perimetercheck]

You, you miserable little glitch!

Get over here and let me re-arrange your pixels you 8-bit reject!

<3

[turbug]

heh...hehe...
rearranged... pix̻̯̖̓̚͝e̲̮͍͉̱͊̍̔̑̎͛l̻͚̖̻̠̈͒ͫs̺̗̀̇̿ͤ̈́ͭ.̊͂̉ͭͯ̚҉̟.͍͖͉͚̠̬̻ͮͮ̈́ͧ.̛̬̘̲̱̓ͦ͋͒ͩ̎̓.̗̻̻͚ͦ̍ ̠͕̄ͪ̽̔ͨ͒͟D͇̳͕̖̫̊͒̐̅I͍͇ͧͮ́͐̉ͯ͝ͅE̢̯͛̇D̮͍͍̞̰̹̦ͬ͗͒͌̊͟.̤͉̓̐͂̐.̟̠͓̯̗ͭ̀͊͐ͯ̑͝ͅ.͉̗͔̈̿ͦ͘

W̛͇̺̰̺̥͛̅̂̎̓͂ͬH̷̗̝̣̪̜̩ͪ̏ͩͧ̀O̸̭̗͍̩͉̬ͣ̈́̌ͬ̇͊ ̐͆̆͊ͣͤ̌͏W͙̻̱̭̉͗͑͌̉̀͢AS͈̬͙̭̱͚͒ͦ̍̀ͅ ̦̙̗I̤͖̩̩̦̜̬ͣ ̑̒̋ͯÄ̗̭͖̳̬́̇̈́̀G̞̠̩͕͛͒̓̈̚̚Ä̖̱̭͟ͅỊ͈̞̜̗̆ͥN̗̘̗̞̮̲͎?̮̂̆̀̅́

[He flickers, glitching between appearances.]

Re: <3

[perimetercheck]

[ It's hard to make out what he's saying, when he's doing... that. ]

Man, what happened to you, Turbo.

[inept_overlord]

Don't look down on platformers. We're still competitive!

[perimetercheck]

Hey, I have the utmost respect for platformers! I'm married to one of the originals! [ SO THERE. ] You just won't get very far in my game on jumpy skills alone, ya big lizard.

[inept_overlord]

Lizard? LIZARD?! I'm a Koopa, darn it! KOOPA! Like a buncha' silly light guns are enough to scare me. The great Koopa army would easily destroy a buncha' dumb bugs!