loud, homeless, omg.

[perimetercheck]

Alright, soldier. I'm not going to question your judgment because I can tell from the other inhabitants in this dump you call a mind that it's poor. This sorry bunch of sissies and panty-waists would never last five minutes in a Cybug invasion. Don't siddle up to a game you don't have the quarters for, sister.

Right now, your resources are low! Do you think you're playing some platformer? Even those giggly little racer girls need their cars. You need to find me a base of operations, more icons with which to intimidate the enemy, and it needs to be done before you can even think of putting me out on point.

Are we clear?

Good. Now get out there and get yourself ready for war, marine! Don't be a big girl's blouse about it, just do it!

[ Spoilers will probably be all over comments, you are warned. ]

Comments

[icanfixit]

Golly, there's another Calhoun.

[Not that he minds! But he clears his throat.]

Mun's a peculiar people, ma'am! From what I know so far at least...

[thespartan]

[Here is someone. Seven feet tall, armored with a weapon in hand standing.]

Pretty severe way to be talking to your superior officer ma'am.

[perimetercheck]

Felix--

[ Uh, crap. Felix. Think quick. ]

Well, so far they are. And they don't know what they're doing, either.

[perimetercheck]

She's not my superior officer. Not yet. I'm not signing on a hitch with someone who can't prove they're capable of making the tough calls, of supplying their troops and making sure the men are seen to.

Besides, her barracks are plenty full, if you get my drift. I'm hardly the only hanging around this post.

[thespartan]

So you're looking for an assignment and she's not.. [slowly] obliging you?

[perimetercheck]

She's got to outfit me first, before I go anywhere. I'm not going out there wrapped in tissue paper, son. There are worse things in these games than Cybugs... and I honestly didn't think that was possible.

[keepsthemsafe]

Somebody'sfuckin' fired up.

[thespartan]

Cybugs.

[perimetercheck]

Wouldn't you be? Picked up like some cheap dock hopper and dropped into a mess of miscreants who wet themselves at the sight of automatic weapon? To do what? Wars aren't won't sitting our our well-armed keisters, son.

[perimetercheck]

Cybugs. Hideous mutations, become what they eat, eat and breed are the only things they know how to do? [ Come on dude you look like an armored guy who sees action. ]

[thespartan]

[He's been out of touch for almost...four years now? He's lost track.

By way of response however, hideous mutations that eat and breed? His hand is on his gun.]

We called them convenant in my time.

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane looks amused. beyond amused.] Wasn't aware we were at war persay. [Running yes, hiding, actual war? Shit.] Arm me ma'am and I'll be happy to see some action.

[He's not armored but he looks like he could handle it.]

Wow typing on my phone was terrible on my last post, my bad!

[icanfixit]

[He still smiles none the less.]

Mine's the same way! But I am flattered. Plus, I'm not surprised they picked you up! After all, you're a pretty dynamite gal.

[puzzlemethis]

Now now, don't be harsh on your Mun. I'm sure they're doing the best they can offer at the moment.

[perimetercheck]

The best thing to call them is dead, in my book. First book of Calhoun, "Suffer not a Cybug to live". My vengeance on them gets downright biblical!

[perimetercheck]

First you need to get yourself to a quartermaster and get your kit. You can't go to the front looking like that. They'll rip you to pieces.

[perimetercheck]

Their best won't save the lives of me or my men! Some of these places don't even give you the courtesy of a proper respawn point!

it's fine!

[perimetercheck]

[ ...oh god he said those words. Felix you adorable blue collar man stop saying those two words. She gets all weird and wibbly inside. ]

Flattered. Well, you're a stand up man, for a civilian. [ WELL THAT WAS A BRILLIANT THING TO SAY CALHOUN. ]

[icanfixit]

[OH CALHOUN you make his cheeks hurt with how much he's smiling right now]

Gee, thank you ma'am! [He holds his hammer proudly and puffs out his chest] I do my best when I can!

[keepsthemsafe]

[He blinks] I'm armed. Shot gun, handgun -

[They're real, and they're fully loaded. He killed things with them. Lots of things.]

[perimetercheck]

And when a Cybug stuffs you in it's mouth and starts to chew? Then what? You think your rugged jaw's gonna chip its tooth?

[perimetercheck]

[ AHEM, oh lord why is she even-- ]

You always do. Admirable quality. [ THIS IS AS CLOSE TO FLIRTING AS CALHOUN WILL EVER GET. She's a fighter, not a lover. ]

[thespartan]

[So much for thinking he'd taken care of it. Shit.] Who do you work for?

[keepsthemsafe]

[oh no you didn't] That'd be when you put a bullet in a-


The fuck's a Cybug.

[icanfixit]

[His chest swells up, he swears he could fly into the air, beaming. His cheeks become a darker rosy color, flattered.]

Jiminy, ma'am... You're too kind! Saying that about little ol' me. Thank you.