on Fourth Wall Day at Last Voyages

[fearthepackingchips]

...You're not gonna make me talk to myself, are you?


Be honest, would you even notice? Or complain?


SHUT YOUR TRAP, pardner, I got enough people in here, I don't need EXTRA voices from the peanut gallery.  And anyway, I mean somebody else in here.  There.  Writer-lady's head.  You know, pronouns get really fucked up in this business, has anybody ever noticed that before?

Maybe if I wear a disguise nobody'll notice. I know I've got a dress I've been waiting to use for AGES, and this sounds like a special occasion.


It really brings out the blue in your eyes.


That's what I said!  Thanks, crazy voice in my head!  I'm glad somebody's listening in there.  Here.  Somewhere.

What's that, Writer-lady?  ...Can I call you Evil Overlord?  I feel like that's more appropriate.  ...no?  Okay.  Well can't blame a guy for trying!

Anyway.  Didja say something about Bea being there?  I heard you chatting with somebody.  'Cause if she is, then I'm gonna have to get a nicer dress.

I can bring my guns though, right?  Pleeeeease?  I promise I'll be good!

Comments

[routemistress]

Where's the fun in being good, lovey?

[fearthepackingchips]

Depends on your definition of good.

Me, as far as I'm concerned "good" just means "why yes, I CAN hit an elephant at this distance".

[Squinty eye is squinty. Yes, you can still tell through the mask. Mainly because his forehead gets all lopsided.]

You're not Bea. I was promised Bea.

[Not that he seems too upset.]

[routemistress]

That's right chuck, I'm not Bea. Who's she when she's at 'ome?

And what did the elephant ever do to you, eh?

[fearthepackingchips]

It's an elephant. Its got a nose like a snake and ears like a satellite. It's weird.

And she's still Bea. Bea Arthur.

[Siiiigh. Ohhh Bea. Be still his perpetually beating heart.]

Unless that's a trick question, in which case you heard nothing.

[Jedi finger wave.]

And these are most definitely not the droids you're looking for.

Smooth move, Obi-Wan. That should definitely confuse her. But who is she if she isn't Bea? Huh?

...so who are you if you're not Bea? And Evil Overlordress, if you're listening we are SO having words later.

...not that this lady isn't equally wonderful and charming. Probably. Even if she calls me Chuck for some reason. Did the writers rename me without asking?

[megamind]

Hey, hey, there is only one evil overlord on that boat and it's me.

[fearthepackingchips]

Well maybe there can be two! You, and she's the Evil Overlordress, and you can have two point five kids and have one big happy Evil Overlording family and live happily ever after!

I'll bring the chimichangas.

[megamind]

Yeah, uh, I'm not really looking for en Evil Overlady and the moment. Kinda enjoying the swinging single thing.

[fearthepackingchips]

Aw, but I already started working on the invitations! It's kinda too late now, I'm booked every other day.

...what's your favorite color?

[inharperwetrust]

...You own a dress?

[Yes, Harper, because that's the most important thing.]

[fearthepackingchips]

Well sure. Because sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you just want to wear a dress and feel pretty!

[inharperwetrust]

Well, you'll forgive me if I suppress that urge and bury it deep inside me.

[As well as that mental image...

...And this conversation.]

[cackling_overlord]

As if a Mundane could ever cut it as an evil overlord!

[fearthepackingchips]

I dunno, have you been watching the political ads on tv? They make pretty good cases for it. LINDA MCMAHON HATES WOMEN. Why would you hate women? They're squishy in all the right places and make other things less squishy. What's to hate?

[cackling_overlord]

I find it hard to believe a woman could hate women. Political ads will say anything to defame someone, and I speak from experience!

[tora_olafsdotter]

I have a friend named Bea too! I've been missing her a lot though, I haven't seen her in a long time.

[fearthepackingchips]

Oh, she's not really a friend. I'm just the president of the fan club. Got a signed photo and everything.

[*Swoon*]

[theonlyresponse]

... And they call me crazy.

[fearthepackingchips]

Hey, that's my line! Got it trademarked an' everything!

Pretty sure you don't.

I don't? Well. I should!

Heya, extra-crazy-Bats. How's it hangin'?

[theonlyresponse]

It's not. [hanging, that is.]

[falsehoods]

I see you have yet to find a conversational partner that you prefer over thyself.

[fearthepackingchips]

Hey, ain't my fault if I keep butting in!

[falsehoods]

I suppose it has some merit, if one happens to be a man of wit.

I would rather converse with myself than with most others from my Realm.

[arach_nerd]

I'm pretty sure a promise from you to be good means about as much as the points on "Whose Line?".

[fearthepackingchips]

Hey, those are very valuable points! You can buy...all kinds of things with them. Somewhere.

[arach_nerd]

Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed up multiverse of ours is a place where the points on "Whose Line?" matter and you're capable of behaving yourself. However, that place isn't here.