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[oathtotheking]

Player-

You've committed yourself, already. If you want to seek a second game, even that will not be with me. I have work to do and a charge to fulfill; you can't just pluck me up to toy with because you're re-watching the series and you see him somewhere.

- Zero

Comments

[oathtotheking]

[It's all a very long story, and not one he's terribly willing to recount. The suspicion is valid, though; he'd be suspicious of himself if he didn't know the life he'd led.]

Oh? What interest could I hold for them?

[bursting]

[ His eyes flash briefly with interest, but that's the only visible sign he shows that Suzaku's words have registered at all. ]

You don't think you're an interesting person?

[oathtotheking]

[It's enough to pick up on.]

It's a subjective quality, one decided by the onlooker. Additionally, I am scarcely a person. I am a reminder and remainder.

[bursting]

[ Aren't you insightful, then? Yet Setsuna remains stoic, firm, unyielding, and unwavering in his reserved expression. ]

Scarcely a person... you really believe that?

[oathtotheking]

[He has to be. Zero stands still--not so much at ease as controlled. He is impassive behind his mask. His head tips back at the question, a fraction towards a shoulder.]

A person lives; I exist.

[bursting]

[ Setsuna notices that as a soldier, yes, the near professional level of control, but now he will be letting a trace of emotion shine through his otherwise blank countenance. A mild, sympathetic twitch to his brow that says what his words don't—isn't that sad? ]

That's a terrible attitude to have. You're still a human being, aren't you?

[oathtotheking]

[He pledged an oath to a young man who once was his dearest friend. Who once was his most hated enemy. Who once was his companion in an attempt to right a world of wrongs. To whom he pledged an oath that would grant him both vengeance and penance.

Behind the elaborate mask, behind the black half-mask, Zero's lips twitch; it's the price he pays willingly.]

I am Zero.

[He hasn't been a human being in quite some time.]

[bursting]

[ Setsuna shakes his head, in blatant refusal of this assertion. He of course doesn't understand that Zero is a name for Suzaku, a moniker, and so... ]

No. No one is a "Zero".

[ Good luck with this one, Suzaku. A complete stranger you may be, a complete lack of existence, but Setsuna won't be hearing any arguments to the contrary. That's just how he is, like a certain emperor you once knew. ]

[oathtotheking]

[He doesn't really expect Setsuna to understand, so that's alright; Zero is a symbol to those who fell under the grip of Britannia. Strangely, this refusal brings out a small chuckle. "A" Zero?]

You misunderstand. "Zero" is what I am called, for I am not one individual but one who represents something for the many.

[It's that familiar quality that actually prevents Zero from immediately dismissing their conversation. Genuine, perhaps innocent, before they unleashed Hell. He doesn't wish to taint it, even with the meaninglessness of this space, so he'll omit those certain details.]

[bursting]

[ Setsuna is unaware of his mistake until Suzaku points it out, and even when he does, he just shrugs. Setsuna is indeed genuine, though he's far from innocent. The hardened look in his eyes says about as much. ]

My point stands.

dw y u gotta break? -chews on itttttt-

[oathtotheking]

[Very much like Lelouch, and perhaps himself in the past. ]

As does mine. Would it mean anything if I said this was an oath I took and will fulfill for the duration of my lifetime?

[Because some people stand so close to their ideals that they don't see those around them.]

CHEWS ON YOU

[bursting]

[ Nostalgia can be awfully bittersweet at times. With gold faintly ringing his eyes— ]

It is a foolish oath, then. You cannot cease to be a person. It is not your decision to make.

OH DAMN--

[oathtotheking]

[Foolish? A knot forms, but it's pushed away; it's not like he's been particularly direct about why he lives the way he does. The laughter is short, cut off after what seems like little more than the first breath.]

Only to someone who doesn't know why it has been taken, and it is my decision; that person died, defeated by one who hated him. And now, this is my punishment: to carry the weight of this name and this mask, to exist as the symbol the people still need in this uncertain and newborn time. There will be a day when the world remembers these ideals on its own, but until then I will wear this mask and bear the name of Zero as I pledged.

[bursting]

[ Another shake of his head, dismissive of every word the masked man has said. ]

You use too many words. They're unnecessary, here.

Answer me this, and only this: is there a heart beating in your chest?

i'm going to bed now i swear

[oathtotheking]

[Like so many have done before. But being Zero does come with a bit of a tag that says "WORDS WORDS WORDS", more or less... Had to learn how to do that better. But such a simple question; not that he can give a simple answer. There's too much that's happened for that.]

Somehow.

spanks you!!!

[bursting]

[ It's not as if Setsuna is disparaging of verbosity, per se, can indulge in philosophical musing himself on occasion, but there's a time and a place for it, and it isn't now. ]

Then you are alive. And until your heart stops beating, it has decided for you.

[ Setsuna extends a hand to Suzaku, less as an offer for him to take it and more as a symbolic gesture. ]

You are alive, the same as me.

/crai

[oathtotheking]

[Isn't it? He did ask for an explanation. Nothing in Zero's life is quite simple enough (besides that "geass") to answer with less than four words. That answer he gets, though... It draws forth a resigned sort of laughter, and Suzaku peers through the cracks for a moment.]

Only in the sense that my heart is beating. My life is not mine to live any longer.

[He's sure he'll never be able to convince him of this, not at the rate they're going.]

sexyface.jpg

[bursting]

[ Setsuna's life is as far of a cry from simple as you can get, indoctrinated as a child soldier by force, witness to countless atrocities, men and women and children torn apart. They are not so different in what they have seen and experienced, and perhaps a pessimistic side Setsuna also professes to be dead.

But that is not the mask he wears for the world to see. The mask he wears is one of strength, and he will get Suzaku to listen, one way or another. ]

Come to Ariel, and you'll see. I'll prove you wrong. And someone else will prove you wrong, as well.

[ A pause, and then... ]

Lelouch vi Britannia is there. And I know that you are the one he once called knight.

/swoon

[oathtotheking]

[No; in that case, they are quite similar. The difference is that Zero exists through the corpse of a corrupt knight. It isn't... as--no, simple isn't the word for it, but it's more complicated than Setsuna seems to be taking this to be. Zero wears his mask because he needs to.

With as sensitive and delicate as the new peace is, there needs to be a unifying symbol to keep everything from shattering. He can't just... let Nunnally scramble. He can't.

That place; behind the mask, his gaze lowers. He can't leave his place.

Even as that name is mentioned, form tensing. Especially, his mind supplies, frantic, not with him there. Complications aside...]

His knight died in combat.

[bursting]

[ Bluntly, once again, because honestly, Suzaku, you're wasting your breath here. And turning aside from him, his back to him, as if to leave. ]

His knight is alive and speaking with me now. Regardless of whether or not you choose to believe it, that is fact.

[oathtotheking]

[And behind his mask, Zero smiles. It's frustrating, being told that which you try so desperately to convince yourself isn't true. But his punishment is to deny himself, in essence, and serve the role he stands in.]

No, he isn't.

[Shame that they can't carry the discussion somewhere it matters. Because Dear Mun is like Vegas, clearly.]

[bursting]

[ He won't go quite yet, but he will remain where he is. Unmoving. Unflinching. ]

Who told you to believe this? Was it him?

[ Yes, he knows all about your little Requiem, too. Spoilers: he can look into hearts and minds, and is quite familiar with the Lelouch you've been speaking with recently. ]

[oathtotheking]

"Him"?

[He'll draw the conclusion, though; amusingly, that "him" could easily apply to Suzaku as much as Lelouch. It was the conclusion they both drew, not one over the other--not really. If he knew about that whole brain-peeping-Tom thing, he likely wouldn't speak so much.]

The Knight of Zero and 99th Emperor needed to die for sins committed, you could say. And so they did.

[bursting]

[ And that does it, makes Setsuna snap and turn swift on his heel, a tiger that has been provoked into a pounce. ]

This sort of masochism... disgusting. You don't even realize it, do you?

[ He stalks back in front of Suzaku, gets in his face, in his mask. He won't punch or slap or otherwise physically attack, but his eyes are glowing fiercely, infuriated. ]

You claim to be justice, yet look how selfish you are. You think this is what he wants? Maybe then, but not now. I don't care about titles or crowns, but you were his knight once. You still are, he tells me. You can swear an oath to your grave, but this isn't an oath. It's just satisfying yourself, what you believe your punishment should be.

[ Actually, no, he will give him a shove, more of a push to wake him the hell up than to be aggressive. He's not trying to start an altercation, just trying to get Suzaku to see reason. ]

You aren't a sword. You're just a shell. You're trying to bury your heart, and it's disgusting. What do you think makes a knight a knight, a sword a sword?

It's his heart. And to throw it away as if it's nothing... you can never protect anyone like that.

[oathtotheking]

[Zero is impassive through the lecturing; this "selfishness" that Setsuna calls it: it's one of the few things he's held with any certainty in what feels like ages. They'd made amends, made a pact--a plan for atonement which there'd been no alternative. But the mention that this isn't what Lelouch wants? Anger simmers beneath the surface, though whether at those words or the presumption that this is done for either of them and not the world they helped tear apart...

Suzaku, for a brief instant, is the one to grab for Setsuna's wrist as he's shoved. Zero would be the one to hold onto it.]

You're wrong.

[He can't be emotional, can't be pushed by this.]

This isn't for me. This isn't even for Lelouch. It doesn't matter if it's what he wants--we were knight and emperor in name only. It was a formality, never real.

[We were friends. Breathe, Zero.]

This is for the lives we destroyed. This is my sentence, to persist like this. It can only be disgusting because this is meant to be punishment for a disgusting series of choices made in life.

If I were to live as Suzaku, I would never be able...

[To give back to the scores of dead, to give back to his homeland for all he'd done against her. Breathe.]

...Do you honestly think I enjoy this?

[His words sit low, and Zero fights to gather himself around this central emptiness, the part of him that absorbs the impact of his existence and reaffirms that this is the punishment he faces for his crimes. He acts only for others, for the civilians who managed to survive, for the memory of those lost, for her because she is the one to whom the world turns now.

He puts up with it willingly, serves his sentence without complaint. It's what he deserves for being as selfish as he was in the past.]