no1curr

[therealgenius]

Oh God, wow. A show about SHIELD. I'm totally going to tune in and slobber over every scene while holding onto my Captain America body pillow and Hulk plushie. It'll be like watching Big Brother, only without all the random hot tub sex—

—God, I hope it's not like that Big Brother. The other Big Brother. The actual Big Brother, you know what I mean; 2 + 2 = 5 and all that doublethink. That might be interesting. Maybe. And, maybe, if it's on late enough at night, they'll have actual interrogation scenes played, in black and white with a table of utensils and some ass in a suit saying, We have ways of making you talk, Mister Ha—

And who the hell cares about Coulson that much anyway? He's a minor character that—

[minor character you say]

It's going to be shit.

Comments

[manofiron]

Interrogation?

That table of utensils makes it sound a little closer to torture to me.

[therealgenius]

That was how it started in 1984, wasn't it? Interrogation with force being very present and...you know, I haven't read it in a dog's age. I don't actually remember the end all that well.

Except that he loved Big Brother.

[manofiron]

At the end, Big Brother won. Two plus two was five. Not a very happy ending.

[likeamonster]

My mun just made a very shrill sound when she saw this post. I'm not sure why.

[Speaking of minor characters...]

Oi! I'm not "minor".

Anyway, why a show for SHIELD? Seems like it'd be downright boring.

[therealgenius]

[sir you're talking to yourself]

Because of money.

[likeamonster]

[better to talk with the voices in his head than raging out?]

Well that figures. Cut funding where its needed, but support entertainment. Genius.

[therealgenius]

There's already continuity issues, you know. This is just going to fuck it up worse, Sarah Michelle Gellar will guest star, Seth Green will be on the writing time for some crazy infestation of singing and dancing werealiens, and it

will be

shit.

[rhodeing]

Well, maybe they'll ask you to guest star and put your head in a cage with rats.

[therealgenius]

Too bad you're too busy singing about buttsex to show up yourself, right?

[slyest]

Presumed death has a way of making more valuable those who were thought lost.

[therealgenius]

Yeah, it does a good job at bring about all the feels. Not much more than that.

[sweet_riiiiims]

Don't worry, Starscream and Megatron have the same pesky habit of surviving.

[Damn their main character status.]

[therealgenius]

[Wait Knockout did your engine die...]

Shouldn't you be saying that about Optimus and Bumblebee? Or do all the Decepticons have a huge hatred for those two?

[norussianplz]

Of course it's going to be shit. It's about SHIELD. What else would it be?

[therealgenius]

[Someone understands! Of course it's himself, but. There's someone out there...!]

We all know how obvious marketing ploys tend to work out, right? It's crystal clear to you, isn't it?

[the_nanny]

I'm sure there are some people who care about me, Mister Hammer.

[therealgenius]

Caring is fine.

It's that they care too much.

[widowsbites]

You'd would be the leading expert in that field. Wouldn't you?

[therealgenius]

Oh my God, you went for the basest, lowest joke you could make, one I've never heard ever before at all whenever I've called something shit. Good job, there! I'll send you a gold star in a week.

[like_a_gerbil]

[Steve is horrified that 1) there are body pillows of Cap and 2) that Hammer cuddles one.]

I think I need a shower now.

[therealgenius]

[It was a joke. Oh my God, Steve. Learn to take a joke.]

...why?

[arach_nerd]

♫You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Gri-inch,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!♫

[therealgenius]

I'm not bald and I don't have daughters crawling all over Anthony.

I'm okay with being the Grinch.