[Canon is the SCP Foundation. For Ink City's 4th Wall Event.] Commencing epic fail in 3...

[amajorchord]

So you're asking yourself: "What the fuck am I doing?" Which is the multimillion dollar question here. But whatever it is, the answer is no.

Honestly, you should have something better to do with your time than Photoshop a third eye onto a man who looks nothing like me for an event that's a month away.

[It sounds bad when you say it like that. Besides, it's your fault for having three eyes in the first place.]

Hey. Don't hate me because I have dubious properties attributed to myself.

Comments

[amajorchord]

Hmm. Not to mention the survival of human society.

[Thinking not-so-fondly of you, SCP-1548.]

[caesarcipher]

And my survival, as well.

[amajorchord]

Yes, and... non-human societal things that really should be documented, I suppose.

[caesarcipher]

Go ahead and attempt to document me if you wish. You'll know only as much as I will allow.

Be aware, however, that one thing you will not be doing, is containing me.

[amajorchord]

In my line of work, threats don't really work against me.

[caesarcipher]

Not a threat! I am simply providing information so that you are not under any false impressions.

I have only the utmost respect for you and your organization, Director Clef. But freedom is something I require.

[amajorchord]

That's actually a relief.

I'm sure that we could come to an... agreement.

[caesarcipher]

I would assume. You certainly seem to be a reasonable man, Director Clef.

Now, what did you have in mind?

[amajorchord]

Only on Fridays.

A simple request of staying in a general area where we can casually monitor you. Log anomalous activity, perhaps request some... tests, here and there?

[caesarcipher]

I'm afraid that won't be possible.
As I have said, you will only be made aware of what I will allow.

Besides, I already have a general area in which I am occupying.
And it is not your facility.

[amajorchord]

Of course. I meant monitoring in the area you have chosen to inhabit.

And... I suppose that could work. Of course, it might be a bit hard to explain to the Administrator.

[caesarcipher]

While I'm certain my current home is somewhere your foundation has previously taken note of, perhaps even on several occasions, I'm afraid that as well is information you will not be provided.
You see, it's a very special place, Director Clef. A place with a delicate balance. A balance I cannot allow to be disturbed. A place with a purpose.

And after all, there's already someone there doing your job.
More or less.

[amajorchord]

...Hm. We don't have any documented organizations located there...

I cannot promise that others from the Foundation will not attempt to coerce you otherwise.

[caesarcipher]

Located where?

I can assure you, it is for inarguably necessary purposes that they do not. But if they insist, I will have to simply make them understand, and see things my way.
And if I cannot do so on my own...
Well, I have friends in high places.

[amajorchord]

Oh, I just was hoping the ambiguity of my statement would make you to unwittingly answer that question, my bad.

I'll be sure to pass the message along.

[caesarcipher]

[A soft chuckle.]

I'm not so easily fooled, Director. And more often than not, try to stay at least one step ahead.

I am also not the only one who would quite appreciate if you did so.