[Canon is the SCP Foundation. For Ink City's 4th Wall Event.] Commencing epic fail in 3...

[amajorchord]

So you're asking yourself: "What the fuck am I doing?" Which is the multimillion dollar question here. But whatever it is, the answer is no.

Honestly, you should have something better to do with your time than Photoshop a third eye onto a man who looks nothing like me for an event that's a month away.

[It sounds bad when you say it like that. Besides, it's your fault for having three eyes in the first place.]

Hey. Don't hate me because I have dubious properties attributed to myself.

Comments

lkzjdfkhsadnfk CLEF somebody get Kondraki in here

[nagant]

Third eyes ain't that weird, all things considered. It could always be worse.

OH MY GOD A CLEF. /ultimate SCP fanboy

[ponyoftime]

Uh... do you mind, er, explaining to me why my mun has suddenly started freaking out at the prospect of your arrival?

[caesarcipher]

I must say, I find your organization quite fascinating.

Seeking out so much supernatural phenomena and keeping it all secret from the world...

The Illuminati would be proud.

Neck snapping all over this place!

[amajorchord]

Apparently, you haven't seen me painted like a French girl.

[amajorchord]

My incredible wit and ability to be genre-savvy would be my first guess.

As long as he doesn't claim to be Satan again...

[nagant]

... [That earns a full-body shudder of revulsion.] Ugh. Pass.

[amajorchord]

It'd be a lot more effective if everyone didn't know about it. Someone really dropped the ball on security somewhere.

Does quoting the Rolling Stones count?

[amajorchord]

I had a feeling that would be your reaction.

[wondertainment]

Kids! Is your game feeling dull lately? Is science progressing at a slow, boring, and far too ethical rate? Do the women in your area feel at ease and unharassed? This can change!

Now, for a limited time only, order your own Dr. [REDACTED]®! He walks, he talks, he sleazes just like the real deal!


Disclaimer: For external use only. May contain nuts. For best results do not use in conjunction with Dr. Dogbot®. Dr. Wondertainment is not responsible for any injury, accident, illness or death resulting from misuse of Dr. Wondertainment's Dr. [REDACTED]®.

[caesarcipher]

Perhaps, but all those who know become secret keepers themselves. Lest risk confiding in those unable to handle the truth.

Such is the burden, and the honor, of the enlightened.

"Pleased to meet you..."

[nagant]

Smart man. Either that, or you're a psycher. -Means mind-reader.

I love you.

[amajorchord]

Oh, for the love of -- SCP Foundation scientists are not Wondertainment property!

...May contain nuts?

"I'm a man of wealth and taste~"

[amajorchord]

How'd you know? Oh, next you're going to guess how I grew up in the wilds of Russia and survived the end of World War II by lying about my age and working in the concentration camps before illegally immigrating to England.

[ponyoftime]

That might be it. Might just be it...

Just, ah, he requests that you don't bring in any... what did he call it, "Keter-class baggage" on your way in.

Aah, great, now that's gonna be stuck in my head all night.

[nagant]

The hells is a "Russia"? And if you fought in some giant war, you look free of bullet holes. And scars. Sorry, I ain't buying it.

[amajorchord]

Yes, but it's our job to keep people from being "enlightened" lest the world crumbles into chaos and ends.

Basically, keeping that incident from last Tuesday from happening again.

8)

[wondertainment]

Litigiousness not included!


Disclaimer: Not for people who clearly hate fun.

You're welcome!

[amajorchord]

I like you. You're not gullible.

Although how you've never heard of the largest continent on the planet Earth is a bit beyond me.

[amajorchord]

Damn, I just lost some entertainment.

Although from what I hear, a good amount of people would do well to get a visit from... say, 682.

[nagant]

[Snort.] I investigate crazy shit for a living. If I were gullible, I'd've died years ago.

'Cause I ain't from your neck of the woods, so to speak.

[anonasu]

[Shoving the pony aside.]

Ahem. Well. As true as that might be, it's still probably not a good idea to put 682 into a pocket dimension with... no... escape...

Uh, hm. Y'know what, that might not actually be a bad idea.

Re: 8)

[amajorchord]

Someone's gotta play sane man here and there. I can be litigious with the best of 'em.

[amajorchord]

It'd certainly get him out of our hair.

[amajorchord]

Right. Extraterrestrial, I assume?

[anonasu]

Yeah... though I shudder to think what'd happen if he accidentally realized he was fictional.