Holmes is expanding his vocabulary! \o/

[sherly_no_mates]

Madam—

Since you are incapable of registering discontent in any other form, let this note stand as my firm refusal to engage in any activity under that heinous term, 'Mpreg'.

Your grasp of anatomy alone beggars the bounds of incredulity. To think that I would be a willing accomplice—.

I will not accept female reproductive responsibilities, woman!

Comments

[no_gentleman]

That is revolting. Ugh, to think of a man getting pregnant. I certainly shouldn't go about with you anymore if you did find yourself in such a state.

[sherly_no_mates]

Bosie.

[Wonderful; your temper shall improve the lucidity of this subject. No matter.]

You needn't fear on that front, my good man, as I have no intention of permitting it. Nor possessed of the . . . capacity to develop such a condition.

[daughters_of_janus]

Aw, we won't be hearing the little pitter patter of mini investigator feet?

[sherly_no_mates]

Absolutely preposterous. [And he doesn't wish to speak of it any further.]

I do not believe we have been formally introduce, madam.

[no_gentleman]

I should think not. Your writer must be a vindictive bitch, mustn't she? Proposing to take away one of the few natural advantages to being of our disposition.

[daughters_of_janus]

I think it would be fun. [Jeanette will tease him mercilessly about it later.]

I am Jeanette.

[sherly_no_mates]

The male disposition, indeed, seems not to occur to her. Despite the correct allocation of organs or temperment. [Darkly; it's grotesquely absurd. And certaintly you must be referring only to the advantages of their sex and no other . . . disposition. If he won't acknowledge it, it can't be anything else.] The idea is ludicrous.

[no_gentleman]

[Come now, Holmes, it's not like you to be coy.]

It is entirely unnatural, is what it is. I expect you will get her in hand before she gets any other distasteful notions?

[sherly_no_mates]

Fun? [Have a sneer.] Entirely incorrect. Perhaps violating, not to mention biologically unfeasible.

A pleasure, Miss Jeanette. Sherlock Holmes. Male. [Ergo: not capable of producing children.]

[sherly_no_mates]

[They're in public.]

Naturally. She may be stubborn at the moment but there's nothing to be done but press on. It's not be borne. A man of my position, of my physicality—! My work would suffer.

[Not to mention if it did occur, you stand at present the most likely co-contributer to the dilemna and that is--complicated.]

[daughters_of_janus]

Jeanette Voerman. Malkavian.

[She decided to tease him a little with just that. Now he'd have to figure out what a Malkavian was.]

[no_gentleman]

[He's aware, yes, given that it seems doubtful that Holmes would go around sleeping with anyone else, given the current absence of his... eternal, preoccupying interest. The notion of fathering such an unnatural child is as disturbing as the concept itself.]

Not to mention the scandal.

[Although that's added more or less as an afterthought.]

They might wish to dissect you in the interests of science.

[sherly_no_mates]

Malkavian. [That's new; he's not heard of that before. If you wanted his attention, now you have it.] I've not come across that term before. If you will elucidate: is it a tribal designation?

[daughters_of_janus]

Oh wouldn't you like to know duckling? It will take more than that to get that information out of me.

[sherly_no_mates]

[There is no eternal, preoccupying interest beyond his work. They are not discussing it because there is nothing to discuss.]

[Imperious handwave.] The gossip columns may have their fill or not. Public opinion shifts like the tides. It has done no harm to your intrepid spirit; it won't affect mine. [Smirking, but fondly: you're no stranger to scandal.]

The interests of science—mm, yes. It would be most fascinating as a case study. The adjustments to the body chemically would open a new venue of scientific exploration.

[sherly_no_mates]

Duckling. What a curious name. Is that a common usage amoungst your people? [Because it has to be a group of people. There is no place on Earth called Malkavian, and it's obvious you aren't British.]

[daughters_of_janus]

My people? Duckling I think the fact I knew you were an investigator should of been a hint.

[And now for a change of topic.]

Though maybe you're more of a kitten. I haven't decided that.

[sherly_no_mates]

That information could be learned from any one of London's newspapers. [He's famous; what of it?] Did you discover it from another venue?

You had been more accurate with 'investigator', sweet thing. You are avoiding the question. [Tell him what it means. He wants to knooooow.]

[daughters_of_janus]

Well you're assuming I'm from a tribe when I'm clearly Caucasian at the very least.

[She's usually not one for these long conversations but teasing him was fun.]

Mmm I think I'll go with kitten. [She smirked at him a little.]

Well what do I get for sharing my secrets? You have to give something to get something.

[amongthedead]

...Wait what? Female Reproductive responsibilities? You-

Your writer is insane. You ought to sue. [Or you know, maybe kill but she's that kind of cop unfortunately. :( ]

a+ username.

[holmesboy]

Well, it's nice not to be considered the mother hen for once. ( SNERK. )

[unsway]

[just this face, holmes. it speaks volumes.]

oh holmes LOVES it

[sherly_no_mates]

You're far too hard on yourself, old boy. I would think the suggestion would engender some sympathy given your current . . . state. [Male pregnancy being of course the same condition as marriage.]

HI MARY

[sherly_no_mates]

[It does speak volumes. Is it bad form if he ignores you? It might appear petty. He's certainly above not being petty.]

Miss Morstan. Or should I say Mrs Watson.

[You are the last person on earth he expected.]

[sherly_no_mates]

[Sue? He's not American.]

Not officially. We haven't had her institutionalised yet.

A lawsuit, while sound in theory, may prove difficult given the metaphysics of the situation.