sam does not feel like p diddy apparently

[nonononono]

Okay. Yeah, all right, let's get some stuff straightened out. I know how much you like lists, so I'll try to make a really simple one that you can understand. I hope it's not over your head.

1) I don't listen to Ke$ha usually so the idea of bumping into Simmons there is a pipe dream. I don't give a crap about how a meme could set that up, I don't listen to her. And writing her name with the dollar sign? Stop. Just. Why?

[you're a lying liar who lies]

2) The whole "your face smells like Doritos" thing came from a robotic version of that girl from the Teeth movie. I don't think it holds any weight. But you can keep eating Doritos, because they're fucking delicious.

[thank you for the permission i was hoping i could continue enjoying doritos i'm so glad you approve]

3) Bilbo's as good a nickname as any for Major Colonel Lieutenant Can Never Remember Keeps Getting Promoted Lennox. Great. Good. But the hero worship thing? No. Nope. I don't...no. He's a good guy, but I don't—and I don't listen to Everclear, either. My parents are still married, why would I listen to them?

[yes because their only song is "wonderful" sam you are on top of this shit]

Are you ever going to see the third movie or what? There might be something important—maybe. You should get on that. Like, tomorrow.

Or now, even.

Comments

[onemanaloooone]

Kid, I dunno who that is, let alone what kinda songs are comin' out of her mouth.

So let me assure you. That I?

Would not be at this concert. Ever.

[nonononono]

That's what you think until you find out your mun's not as on your side as you think they are.

Or...maybe yours is. Mine's a bit of a project that's not worth projecting effort to continue with the project. Part of it.

[onemanaloooone]

Yeah. I kinda get the feeling my mun ain't getting caught near no kesha either.

Sucks to be you. Don't it?

[nonononono]

[...

...]

I never thought I'd be jealous of you. Is this Opposite Day?