#voice-testing #tw: cronus

[thetrollwholived]

dear mundane,

it looks like ivwe been unfairly blamed for that talk i had vwith mituna the other day, as if i said anything to him evweryone else vwasnt already thinking. and believwe me, it's not evwen that i dont like the guy. i meant it vwhen i told him i felt like i could actually talk to him, and thats pretty rare considering howv many jerks have turned out to be in our crewv. just compare him to his moirail and already youvwe got one jerk and one re... guy vwho needs some extra help. but its really hard not to flip out at him wvhen he makes it so easy with that back and forth act of his. at least hes funny vwhen hes spazzing out for no reason, but then he decides to go all demure vwhenevwer he messes me up, as if thats some magical get out of trouble free pass vwhen vwe all knowv magic doesnt exist. im pretty sure on alternia it vwould be against the LAWV for me to evwen think about apologizing to him, but here i am, considering it just like anyone else vwould despite the incident not being my fault.

heavwy is the crowvn some vwould say but im not complaining because hes my friend and easy on the eyes if you knowv vwhat i mean. the helmet doesnt help but he vwont listen to me on that one. no one really seems to take my advwice, i guess im just not pushy enough about it to get their attention. or maybe they think im too sensitivwe to come up vwith something incredible. ill have to talk vwith kankri about it and havwe a thinktank about what privwileges they may be letting get in the vway of realizing how helpful ivwe been all this time.

thanks for listening--

oh. great. shes gone.

[The fact that shouldn't be possible when the mun is the one writing this doesn't really matter. Cronus' player refuses to deal with this garbage.]

Comments

[lockjaw]

[thetrollwholived]

hi there, kurloz. uh i hope you didnt get the vwrong idea based on anything i said up there.

[cronus]

vwell, vwhos THIS handsome devwil?

[lockjaw]

[thetrollwholived]

just the coolest cat to evwer stride across this great nowv dead univwerse of ours
hi other cronus. i knewv this day would come sooner or later and its about as killer as i thought itd be.

[biwinning]

nope.

[lockjaw]

[thetrollwholived]

oh, hey, you must be mitunas descendent! kankris shouty lil mini me mentioned you a couple times.

[tumutuous]

OH. MY GOD.
NOT ONE OF YOu ASSHOLES.

SPOILER ALERT: NO ONE GIVES ANY SHITS ABOuT YOuR PITIFuL ATTEMPT TO INCITE SOMEONE INTO GIVING FuCKS. JuST. SHuT. uP.

[thetrollwholived]

vwowv dont you think thats a little harsh vwhen vwe dont knowv each other?

[kismefish]

too long didnt care

[thetrollwholived]

hi meenah! you sawv the part vwhere i said i vwas going to set things right, i see. i knewv thats vwhat you vwould vwant someone to do in order to show that theyre mature enough to knowv vwhen to step back, vwhich also means theyre probably mature enough for a longstanding relationship

#or at least the sex part

[nubsmcshouty]

SOMEONE SERIOUSLY JUST NEEDS TO COLLECT ALL YOU AMPORAS UP AND PUT YOU IN YOUR OWN PRIVATE BUBBLE SOMEWHERE

[thetrollwholived]

youre karkat right?

[brokenbowfetish]

D --> It would be against the law to apologize to who on Alternia, e%actly

[Yeah, that's what he got out of that.]

[thetrollwholived]

a yellowblood like mituna though im not sure if thats the pc term. youd have to ask kankri

[fintastic]

O)( wow
It's like someone took -Eridan and turned )(im up to 11!
I did not even t)(ink t)(at was possible!

[thetrollwholived]

eridan? that sounds familiar
hey, you look like meenah. that happens to be one of my favworite sassy looks.

#TW #implicati9ns #p9tential advice-shaming ahead

[sjwignless]

If y9u really wish, we may m9st certainly have a nice lecture... I mean sit-d9wn and figure this 9ut, Cr9nus. That is, 9f c9urse, assuming that y9u feel y9u actually require my c9unsel. Despite my missi9n t9 dispense w9rldly and cultural advice t9 any wh9m I think deserve it, I w9uld never dare to imply that y9u are incapable 9f regurgitating hivespun wisd9ms 9f y9ur 9wn, 9r even merely that y9ur witticisms are inherently inferi9r to my 9wn. I w9uld never d9u6t y9u at all, s9 th9se are things 6est left unsaid and indeed even unimplied.

H9wever, in the event that y9u d9 indeed wish to seek a less9n - 9r, rather, disc9urse 6etween us, I am m9re than willing t9 96lige. Pr9vided, 9f c9urse, that we first set d9wn s9me gr9und rules and clearly define any warnings pri9r.

[thetrollwholived]

can we have a rule about frea... unusual miming clown trolls that may or may not be givwing you the stinkeye? like that they cant join in? it vwould make the talk a safer place for me, personally.

[1nc0h3r3n53]

Y0U 74KL 70 MUCH3 48N D 1 F5UCK1GN 4H73 0Y0U

[thetrollwholived]

there you are mate! ivwe been looking all ovwer for you. howvs your noggin holding up?

[wwhatevver]

im goin to be real honest in wwhat im about to tell you
tldr

[thetrollwholived]

haha, thats fair. kind of a mean and pointless thing to HEY! thats a slick haircut youvwe got. vwowv.

[arachnesweb]

[Sorry Cronus, not even Aranea felt like listening to all that tripe.]

[thetrollwholived]

[But... what if he paid her to listen?]

[tyrians]

crodogg
shut the fuck up

[thetrollwholived]

hello again, meenah. vwhats shaking?

[radglare]

why
4r3 th3r3 2 of you
>:?

[thetrollwholived]

all the better to be rad for you, my dear.







nailed it. finally. do you knowv howv long ivwe been vwaiting for you to givwe me a decent setup?

[consider8]

[It's come to this. She's throwing a balled up piece of paper at your head to avoid actually talking to you.]

[thetrollwholived]

[What's this!

A love note??

Is it a love note????]

Not a troll, but hope you don't mind!

[terreifying]

[The not-reall-human girl is standing to the side staring calmly at Cronus.]

Would you like...to play a game with me?

I'm fine with anyone, dude!

[thetrollwholived]

vwhat kind of game?

[#because if its human chess #i can think of something vway better #for both of us]