re: sortinghat_rp shenanigans

[selfhatred]

MY LIFE IS A ROMCOM.

HELL. FUCKING. YES.

Comments

[fuckmackandme]

do i get to play the overprotective brother when i find out jade is my sister?

[selfhatred]

DOES THAT MEAN I GET THE 'IF YOU HURT HER' LECTURE?

[fuckmackandme]

that's what overprotective brothers do, right?

[selfhatred]

I'LL GIVE YOU A FUCKING SPOILER, EGBERT.

I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.

[fuckmackandme]

aww...
well, i guess i'm not the one you should be scared off...
that's dad!

[selfmakeout]

oh my fucking god, john
stop trying to scare off my boyfriend!!! :\

[fuckmackandme]

but his life's a romcom, i have to!
even if our life is more like the parent trap.

[selfmakeout]

you are more like my derpy little brother than my overprotective brother if we are going to apply any movie tropes here
so in that case i should be pulling your trousers up to your armpits and calling you pantsbert

[fuckmackandme]

fine!
then i'll go read your diary and be the most obnoxious fuckass i can be!!

[selfmakeout]

:o


hehehe
but i don't have a diary, john!

[fuckmackandme]

if we're acting out movie tropes, you do now!

[selfmakeout]

oh noooooooooooo!!!
i need to set a little brother trap!!!!

[fuckmackandme]

ha!
i'm a master prankster, no trap can get me!

[selfhatred]

HMM...NOPE.
STILL NOT SCARED.

[fuckmackandme]

you're not cooperating, karkat.

[selfhatred]

HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU EGBERTS AREN'T INTIMIDATING.

Sorry Karkat but you're about to be introduced to AUs

[elegant_clown]

I wAs WoNdErInG wHeN i WoUlD uP aNd SeE yOu kAr BrO

[And then Karkat would get hugs, hugs that would involve breasts squishing into him.]

unsure if this is the best thing ever or what

[selfhatred]

[Whoa that's a new thing]

GAMZEE?
WHAT THE FLIPPING JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST?

Well I love it, I doubt Karkat will if his game allows AUs and multiples

[elegant_clown]

iM uP aNd BeInG gAmZeTtE kAr BrO :o)
I aM uP aNd BeInG fRoM aN aLtErNaTe UnIvErSe WhErE wErE aLl MoThErFuCkInG oPpOsItE gEnDeRs Of WhAt YoU uP aNd ThInK iS nOrMaL

[Still hugging you, you look and act like her moirail and she has missed her a lot.]

haha thankfully not :3 city_of_keys does though

[selfhatred]

IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER I'D SAY YOU FLIPPED YOUR SHIT.
BUT SINCE I'M FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE WE'RE NOT ONLY HUMAN BUT FUCKING WIZARDS I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT.

[He's just going to let her because fuck it, it'd just happen anyway.]

yay

[elegant_clown]

WiZaRdS?
AmPoRa MuSt Be ThE oNe DoInG tHe ShIt FlIpPiNg RiGhT nOw.

[She smiles a bit at that, he was either really happy or in constant denial.]

WeLl Im Up AnD tElLiNg ThE tRuTh.
ThOuGh I gUeSs YoU wOuLd Up AnD bElIeVe Me MoRe If KaRkAtA wAs HeRe

[selfhatred]

...KARKATA.
REALLY?
WELL I GUESS I'VE HEARD WEIRDER BUT STILL.

[elegant_clown]

YeAh It WaS wEiRd SeEiNg BrO mE sOmE oF tHem WeRe NiCe BuT oNe WaS uP aNd ReAdY tO kIlL mE

[You get tighter hugs.]

I uP aNd MoThErFuCkInG mIsSeD yOu EvEn If YoU aRe ThE bRo VeRsIoN.

[selfhatred]

[He's just going to pap her head gently.]

UH
WELL, I'M HERE NOW?
I MEAN I'M NOT YOUR KARKAT BUT IT'S ALL THE SAME ACROSS THE FUCKING MULTIVERSE, RIGHT?

[elegant_clown]

[She smiles, the gesture is comforting.]

YeAh YoUrE aLl Up AnD rIgHt
StIlL tHiS iS uP aNd GoInG tO cOnFuSe ThE fUck OuT oF qUaDrAnTs If KaRkAtA gEtS hErE

[Your perfect Kismesis would be here Karkat.]