just... lays here....

[rocketry]

I hope you're pleased with yourself. I don't want to be there. Edward thinks I'm a stranger and he has his brother, anyway.

Maybe he was right all along. Maybe I really am nothing more than a bad dream.

Comments

[alkahestry]

We never had any idea there were other worlds out there and ones with other versions of ourselves on them.

You're real, Alfons. Don't let him tell you otherwise. He'll come around, you'll see he just needs a bit of time to get to know you.

[rocketry]

I don't think it's a good idea. If he doesn't know me, there's a reason for it. And anyway, I'm not..

Maybe it's for the best.

[alkahestry]

Maybe not right away. You know how Edward can be when he's angry and often times he's too dense to realize that he's hurt someone. You said I'm there? Well, when I find out I'm sure the other me will tell Ed he's over reacting.

[He's already sighing internally and while he has his own insecurities there's no excuse for treating someone like this. Not when on some strange metaphysical level he is Alfons and Alfons is him.]

We're enriched by the connections we make throughout life, each new person we meet gives us a chance to learn something new. You've got so much to offer and after what you went through I don't think you're quite ready to give up on brother so soon. He's worth the trouble.

[rocketry]

[ offer? he can't offer anything. he already sounds pathetic enough, though, so he's not about to say anything else about what he believes. ]

I've already promised him I'll stay away. It's okay. I'm sorry that I sound like this.

[alkahestry]

[Where did he say any of those things?]

I think you'll see after a little bit of time that things will work out. Brother's stubborn, but once you two talk and you mention some of those stories he's told you I'm pretty sure he'll learn you're telling the truth.

[He does his best to keep his smile reassuring.]

You don't need to apologize to me. I just hate seeing you like this.

[rocketry]

I'm okay. Just-- just stressed. You shouldn't-- worry. I'm really not this much of a mess very often.

[alkahestry]

I'm sure you're more than just stressed.

[He's here though, because he's made a point to put himself out there for Alfons. He wants the other boy to know that he is important and wanted. Even if things can been stressful and at times awkward between them.]

Sometimes we can't help but get caught up in our feelings, but I know how you feel. Each time it's always something different when I met the Edward you know and I always feel like I'm stealing him away from the other me and you.

[rocketry]

He was never-- I would.. never.. [ a sharp shake of his head. ] Whatever.. version either of you are, you're still Al and he's still Ed. You still.. fit together.

[alkahestry]

Perhaps it might seem that way to someone on the outside, but our experiences are only the same to a point. We both attempted something horrible and the consequences were the same. However, beyond that our stories are quite different and my brother never left me and gave up his life to bring me back. My brother found a way to do it by giving up his alchemy.

It's easy to pretend sometimes, but he worries he's never good enough and I worry the same. He talks sometimes about things I don't remember or things I remember differently. I smile and pretend I know them so he won't get upset...

[He hates seeing Edward upset, it's his biggest weakness.]

... and then what's worse is he always says he never wants to go home and all I could think about how I would feel if our places were reserved. I'd be lost without Edward.

[It's strange to be admitting this outloud and after all this time, but these are the things that he worries about and he hides from Edward, because if Edward ever knew he's not sure what would happen.]

[rocketry]

[ this is all a lot to take in, and to be honest, alfons doesn't think he's equipped to give advice or comfort as easily as al manages. his first real friend had been ed, and even that relationship had been.. strained. ]

You're both.. very silly. I don't think it's possible for either of you to not be 'good enough' for one another. Whether your experiences were the same or not, you both went through them for the same reason, didn't you? For one another.

[ after a moment, he reaches up to tuck al's hair back, smiling faintly. ]

Really, as different as you are from him, you're quite like him in some ways, aren't you?

[alkahestry]

[Silly is one of putting it, but when both of them are willing to die time and time again just to make sure the other has a chance at living and being happy it leaves both of them in the end with a lot of feelings.]

Maybe and I love Edward no matter where he's from. He's still Edward, but I just worry that the other me won't ever get the chance to have his brother back. He deserves him too.

[The last part just makes the smallest of smiles curl to his lips. All his life he always wanted his brother's love and attention, so to be compared to him - to be told he's like him - well, it makes him happy. His brother is still very much a hero in his eyes and he's proud to have someone like Ed in his life.]

[rocketry]

He might be in the same sort of situation somewhere, with your Ed. And even if he's not, things will work out. You all fought too hard for them not to.

[ he finally allows his hand to slide away, fingers curling loosely together. ]

--In the meantime, you should both really stop worrying and enjoy the time you have together. Right?

[alkahestry]

In general Edward doesn't feel like he's worth it, not with all the things he's done. I try and tell him that despite all that he doesn't need to punish himself so much. He earned a chance to be happy, but ...

[Sighing now, because they're all a bunch of idiots and Alfons knows how bad Edward can be at times.]

The same goes for you. You deserve a chance to be happy as well and once Edward calms down you'll see. You two will become good friends again.

[rocketry]

Your brother is occasionally an idiot when it comes to that sort of thing. It's a good thing he has you.

[ he twitches slightly at the last bit, gaze sliding away. ]

.. Perhaps.

[alkahestry]

[He chooses to ignore that part about it being good that Edward has him. None of this was really supposed to be about him anyway right? So steeling his own emotions and putting back on a happy face he shakes his head to disagree.]

No perhaps. I know Edward, remember? Brother or not he'll realize what he's done and feel bad. He might never admit it, but you'll be on good terms. It'll just take some time...

[Don't make him come over there and hug you.]

Until then enjoy your second chance. Live a little.

[alchimia]

Idiot!!

[ because dammnit, Alfons, stop doing this to yourself;; ]

[rocketry]

[ he kind of slumps against his shoulder, resting his head there tiredly. ]

I'm sorry.

[alchimia]

[ clenches a fist, only to release and drag his fingers through his hair in frustration. it gives him a moment to pause and think before he finally reaches out and tugs Alfons close enough so he can ruffle the other boy's hair. ]

You're not— You're not a fucking dream. You're real, right? Heartbeat, breathing, all of that.

[ slowly pulling his hand away, his angry gaze shifts to the ground which he glares at. ]

It shouldn't matter wherever we end up. I may be an idiot, but... There's no way I'd just ignore you, Alfons.

[rocketry]

.. I do wonder, sometimes. Not often, not.. not very seriously. But you were so adamant for a while, and you never quite-- You were just surviving there. On bad days, I thought.. you know, what if Edward is right?

[ he breathes out at the sensation of fingers in his hair, eyes sliding shut. ]

But what a senseless sort of dream, where nothing happens and there are no happy endings.

[alchimia]

I wasn't right. I was being an idiot. You should know that by now.

[ scowls even more, shaking his head adamantly. ]

And that's not how it was. I wasn't just surviving. It was... What made it bearable was... Was you.

[rocketry]

[ he huffs out a slightly breathless laugh. ]

.. I'm glad I could. [ he lifts his head, swiping the back of his hand over his eyes and taking a shaky breath. ] I'm-- I'm sorry, I'm being so ridiculous.

[alchimia]

[ a beat, and then he reaches out to ruffle Alfons' hair again. ]

Yeah, you are. 'Sfine, though. It's... it's fine.

[rocketry]

[ he offers a slightly shaky smile. ]

--Anyway, at least if that place is.. awful, you'll know me in October, right?

[alchimia]

Damn well better.

[ jabbing Alfons' chest with a forefinger, making a face. ]

'Fyou don't show up, I'll... [ okay, he can't go with the traditional kick your ass method in Alfons' case, so he has to come up with something else. ] I won't teach you alchemy.

[rocketry]

If I don't show up, you won't teach me, anyway, since I won't be there.

[ he folds both hands over the one jabbing him. ]

.. I'll try my best.

[alchimia]

[ and, predictably, that hand pauses. but he's still frowning, even if the frown is more of a petulant frown. ]

You'll be there. Even if I have to kick your mun in the ass to do the app.

[ he says it with certainty because he can't imagine alfons not being there, now that he knows the potential is there. he wants alfons to be there, even if he doesn't say it out loud. ]

'Sides, you gotta be there to figure out how the story ends.

[wrenchmyheart]

[A certain hot tempered Elric is going to get her biggest wrench to his head.]

Ed is an idiot, Alfons. He'll come round.

[rocketry]

Oh, Miss Winry. I'm.. I'm sorry, please just.. ignore that. I'm not even sure I want him to, anyway.

[wrenchmyheart]

Just 'Winry' is fine. You do want him to come around, you just don't know it yet. I was very upset with him when I first arrived as well. It is a lot to take in, even when you're from the same world.

[rocketry]

[ no, he's really not sure he does, especially considering the fact that he knows how hard ed takes it when he loses people. all the same, it's not polite to argue with a lady, so-- ]

Oh, were you?

[wrenchmyheart]

Yes, he is 'from' two years earlier than I am. He doesn't remember so much that I do, but we worked it out.

[rocketry]

I'm glad to hear that. In his stories, I could tell that you're a very important person to him.

[wrenchmyheart]

[A tiny blush]

I hope so.