just... lays here....

[rocketry]

I hope you're pleased with yourself. I don't want to be there. Edward thinks I'm a stranger and he has his brother, anyway.

Maybe he was right all along. Maybe I really am nothing more than a bad dream.

Comments

[rocketry]

He was never-- I would.. never.. [ a sharp shake of his head. ] Whatever.. version either of you are, you're still Al and he's still Ed. You still.. fit together.

[alkahestry]

Perhaps it might seem that way to someone on the outside, but our experiences are only the same to a point. We both attempted something horrible and the consequences were the same. However, beyond that our stories are quite different and my brother never left me and gave up his life to bring me back. My brother found a way to do it by giving up his alchemy.

It's easy to pretend sometimes, but he worries he's never good enough and I worry the same. He talks sometimes about things I don't remember or things I remember differently. I smile and pretend I know them so he won't get upset...

[He hates seeing Edward upset, it's his biggest weakness.]

... and then what's worse is he always says he never wants to go home and all I could think about how I would feel if our places were reserved. I'd be lost without Edward.

[It's strange to be admitting this outloud and after all this time, but these are the things that he worries about and he hides from Edward, because if Edward ever knew he's not sure what would happen.]

[rocketry]

[ this is all a lot to take in, and to be honest, alfons doesn't think he's equipped to give advice or comfort as easily as al manages. his first real friend had been ed, and even that relationship had been.. strained. ]

You're both.. very silly. I don't think it's possible for either of you to not be 'good enough' for one another. Whether your experiences were the same or not, you both went through them for the same reason, didn't you? For one another.

[ after a moment, he reaches up to tuck al's hair back, smiling faintly. ]

Really, as different as you are from him, you're quite like him in some ways, aren't you?

[alkahestry]

[Silly is one of putting it, but when both of them are willing to die time and time again just to make sure the other has a chance at living and being happy it leaves both of them in the end with a lot of feelings.]

Maybe and I love Edward no matter where he's from. He's still Edward, but I just worry that the other me won't ever get the chance to have his brother back. He deserves him too.

[The last part just makes the smallest of smiles curl to his lips. All his life he always wanted his brother's love and attention, so to be compared to him - to be told he's like him - well, it makes him happy. His brother is still very much a hero in his eyes and he's proud to have someone like Ed in his life.]

[rocketry]

He might be in the same sort of situation somewhere, with your Ed. And even if he's not, things will work out. You all fought too hard for them not to.

[ he finally allows his hand to slide away, fingers curling loosely together. ]

--In the meantime, you should both really stop worrying and enjoy the time you have together. Right?

[alkahestry]

In general Edward doesn't feel like he's worth it, not with all the things he's done. I try and tell him that despite all that he doesn't need to punish himself so much. He earned a chance to be happy, but ...

[Sighing now, because they're all a bunch of idiots and Alfons knows how bad Edward can be at times.]

The same goes for you. You deserve a chance to be happy as well and once Edward calms down you'll see. You two will become good friends again.

[rocketry]

Your brother is occasionally an idiot when it comes to that sort of thing. It's a good thing he has you.

[ he twitches slightly at the last bit, gaze sliding away. ]

.. Perhaps.

[alkahestry]

[He chooses to ignore that part about it being good that Edward has him. None of this was really supposed to be about him anyway right? So steeling his own emotions and putting back on a happy face he shakes his head to disagree.]

No perhaps. I know Edward, remember? Brother or not he'll realize what he's done and feel bad. He might never admit it, but you'll be on good terms. It'll just take some time...

[Don't make him come over there and hug you.]

Until then enjoy your second chance. Live a little.