This is what happens when I can't sleep or do game tags. Guys like him take over and get voice test.

[before_his_ruin]

DAMN YOU TO THE DEPTHS! I will not quiet down, not so long as you continue to play him as well. Are you mad to think the two of us can live in this "headspace" as you continue to call it and that I will not sink my axe into his belly?


[A raucous laugh.]

Oh, so I see you find it amusing, how amused will you be when I do it? Don't you look at me that way! I will do as I please and you can not...[Robert suddenly finds himself unable to talk because oh yeah boy, mun has all the power. When he can form words again he is livid.]

I will have your head for that you bastard! Never do such a trick on me again!

Comments

[halfhorse]

You truly are a boy sometimes. [Secretly laughing. Only not so secretly.]

[before_his_ruin]

A boy? [Robert is worked up and his tone is anything but polite, good gods he could shatter windows if he starts bellowing]

Fear not My Lady, I am a man grown, as you will find out.

[halfhorse]

I will find out no such thing. [She scoffs at him.]

[before_his_ruin]

[He just smirks.]

Less you plan to gut me on our wedding night, Lady Stark, you will be.

[warden_of_the_north]

Robert, you do realize that this is a common state of affairs among these scribes, yes? I myself have...him and several others I would prefer not to interact with, but they rarely approach me. The difficult part is dealing with the ones played by others.

[before_his_ruin]

Damn you and your stoic face Ned Stark, I'll not settle down just because she's brought you here. Would you sit and watch while a man made his way with the woman you are to wed?

[warden_of_the_north]

[ There's a flash of emotion across his face but he schools his expression.]

I do not like it either, but raging about it will only play into the hands of your scribe. Direct your energy towards something more useful.

[burnsobright]

I find myself questioning the taste and intelligence of your mundane.

[before_his_ruin]

[Well she looks a little familiar, judging the coloring he guesses Lannister but must be some distant cousin in the line that he's never seen.]

What's it to you sweetheart? Don't tell me we've met and I've forgotten, if so hope it was a good roll.


[Sorry Cersei....]

[burnsobright]

[Eyes narrowing at that sweetheart? You better believe it. An arrogant tilt of her head at those cold eyes meet his.]

Cersei Lannister. Your wife. Or should I state former wife, given your demise.

[lobsters]

[ ...well, it is good to see that little has changed with you since your time with Lord Arryn.

...Or perhaps not. It would always infuriate him that he could behave in such a brash manner. But still... he was his lord. ]

You will come to realize that you cannot always do as you will, brother.

[before_his_ruin]

[Robert throws his head back with a bawdy laugh before he claps a hand to Stannis' shoulder.]

Damn you Stannis you're as stiff as Eddard Stark, when will you learn, I'll have what I want even if I have to take it.

[lobsters]

[ Instinctively, Stannis flinches, not at all impressed. ]

Did you ever pay attention to Maester Cressen's history instruction? With little exception, men who attempt to take what they desire solely for themselves only achieve ruin.

[ofthehollowhill]

[Just...]

... muns are annoyin'.

[before_his_ruin]

[Hey kid who looks like him, cept yeah, too old to be his, if only Robert knew.]

Finally, someone gets it, the bloody fools, whole lot of them.

[ofthehollowhill]

[And Gendry isn't that much better at putting those sorts of things.]

'course they are. Never leaving you alone.

[fawning]

[While the thought of an axe sinking into anyone's belly would normally make Renly ill, that will never stop him from staring in awe at his brother.

Never. Right?]

Whose belly are you gutting, Robert? Is it the Mad King's? I heard that King Aerys' insides are made of wildfire and soot.

[before_his_ruin]

[Ah, there is his baby brother, so much more endearing than Stannis he scoops the boy up and to his shoulder immediately, wide grin in place..]

I'll gut the Mad King and his brood, show you he's like any other man inside, nothing but blood and waste.

[fawning]

[Of course he's more endearing than Stannis. A rock is more endearing than the middle brother. When Robert picks him up Renly slides his little leg around to be properly seated on his brothers shoulders, leaning down upon his head. From up here, Robert can't possibly see the wrinkle of his nose at the thought of blood and waste.]

But he's a King. Kings can't be like everyone else inside, they're Kings.

[mydaddyissues]

[ oh my god robert

oh my god oh my god you're just too cool

don't mind this kid just quietly idolizing this vicious, warrior-like and not fat person that you are while trying to contain his hero worship drool. wow, this is even better than stories of your victories make it out to seem. weird, but better. awesome. godly.

wait, there should be some talking instead of just blatant staring. um. ]

Who else is in the headspace you speak of?

[before_his_ruin]

[Excuse Robert while he sizes the kid up, he had the look of that Lannister boy, what was his name again Jaime, that's right, little snot.

Robert however just smirks, axe resting comfortably in his hands. Yes Joffrey, the old man used to be seriously bad ass, are you proud now?]

Gods be damned I'm stuck in here with the Dragon Prince himself and the bloody mun thanks to stay my axe, I'll show them a thing or two about how a real man does it.

[mydaddyissues]

Rhaegar Targaryen?

[ knock down drag out fight

knock down drag out fight

knock down drag out fight!!! joffrey's quite sure he isn't the only member of the generation born after the rebellion that would pay to see the king in all his glory reenact the battle of the trident. people spoke so poetically about the way rhaegar's rubies had fallen from his breastplate, but for as clearly as he imagined other parts of the historical battle, that's one he'd always had a little trouble visualizing and would love to see for himself.

and those damn muns... ]

I'm sure they don't know what they've gotten into. They'll not be able to stay your axe for long! [ right? right? right, dad, right? ]

[doery]

[Renly loves you dearly, brother, even if the Septa tries to shield your littlest sister from your rough tongue.]

You let someone trick you?

[before_his_ruin]

[Blink, blink, Renly when did you get tits? Well, when in Rome, takes a drink and rolls with it.]

I'll be a damned fool the day I let this idiot trick me, they used some sorcery to silence me, but you see who's talking now.

[doery]

[Yes, just go it with bro.

Anyway, this talk of sorcery makes her face brighten.]

Real sorcery, brother? Maester and Septa said there are no more sorcerers.