(no subject)

[conspiracytheories]

Hey Lady?

Look if you're some kind of Fed - I didn't do anything. Nothing to justify being left here anyway. If I wanted to hide out somewhere I'd go to Monday. I mean you have aliens in here, real aliens. Fine, maybe if they were closer to the Close Encounters kind it wouldn't be so bad but they've both got really sharp swords. No amount of late night movies on SyFy can prepare anyone for that.

And let's be completely honest here - you don't have the time. Sure, you kid yourself but we both know better. So why don't you just take a break, kick back with something that isn't two dollar bottles of wine (for which you should be ashamed of yourself for even having in your house) and just leave me be?

Seriously, it'll work out for the benefit of both of us.

- Mozzie

Comments

[wallets]

Two dollar bottles of wine? Ouch.

[conspiracytheories]

It is truly one of the greatest crimes of our generation.

[conspiracytheories]

I take that back - boxed wine is the greatest. Then the two dollar bottles. Did you know they're packaged in plastic?

[wallets]

Are there even corks at that price? I think you have to pay more than two dollars for corks.

[conspiracytheories]

Screw tops. Like I said - travesty.

[wallets]

Yeah, I don't know how you're going to survive that one, Moz. What if you're forced to drink it?

[conspiracytheories]

You're not supposed to say things like that, Neal. What if she gets ideas? Now that we're actually in their heads there's no place that's safe.

[wallets]

I guess it's a good thing mine belongs to a wine club, then.

[no okay but seriously:]

You'll be fine.

[conspiracytheories]

That's just not fair. How come you get every good deal and I'm stuck with the short end of the stick even here?

( mozzie is always serious. )

The thought's appreciated, really. Best I can do is go into hiding and hope this strange urge of her's passes quick. How long do we want to give it?

[wallets]

Some people just have good luck.

What, are we taking bets, now?

[conspiracytheories]

It's your hair, isn't it? I still can't believe you talked me out of wearing a toupee.

Call it a friendly wager. We can put a bottle of your wine at stake, seeing as you have plenty and I have none. You could be Robin Hood - helping out those less fortunate than yourself.

[wallets]

Mozzie, I'm going to be honest with you because we're friends, and I care about you - but that toupee looked like a rat died on your head.

But, fine, alright. One bottle of wine, your choice, if she gives up within the month, Little John. Or is it Friar Tuck?

surprise 2/3

[wallets]

No, definitely Friar Tuck.

[wallets]

Either way, I still didn't catch what you're putting on the table. I am pretty sure I don't want to win a bottle of her corkless wine, thanks.

[suitable]

If you think we'd hire out of the players around here, you're offer than usual, Haversham.

But yeah, keep talking. I'm sure that'll work out just swell for both of you.

[conspiracytheories]

One can never tell with you suits. I'm not letting you put anything past me.

It doesn't hurt to try - some of us aren't resigned to never breathe freely ever again. It's like prison, only I've never been to prison. Which is probably for the best concerning my dietary needs.

[conspiracytheories]

Also the lack of bendy straws.

[suitable]

I'm sure the supermax chef du jour would entirely understand your gluten-free needs. [ suit-brand sarcasm. live it, love it. ] You'd probably be out of luck with the straws, though.

Then in an effort for full transparency, I've been trying for years now. And prison would be better than some things they come up with.

[conspiracytheories]

And lactose intolerance. I have a very specific plan, you know. ( a shudder ) There is no way they're getting me to drink anything straight from a glass.

No offense, but I'm kind of getting that feeling already.

[thewife]

I'm really impressed with your ability to play innocent, Mozzie. [What? She totally is!]

And a two dollar bottle of wine really is a travesty.

[conspiracytheories]

Hi, Missus Suit. I didn't expect to see you here as well. ( it's because he is innocent, obviously )

That's what I told her! But she says she doesn't want to spend the money towards something better for reasons beyond my understanding.

[thewife]

Oh, I'm definitely here. Luckily things tend to stay a little low key for me.

Maybe you could expand her horizons. Help her understand that a girl's allowed to spoil herself with good wine every once in a while.

[conspiracytheories]

No kidnappings, attempted arson, nothing?

It might be worth a try, but then what if she just gives up wine all together? I'm not sure of which is the lesser evil here - none or terrible?

[thewife]

Well, if you ask a lot of my clients, no wine is always worse than bad wine.

And thankfully not. It's been very quiet and enjoyable lately.

Mozzie!!!!

[retrieverchef]

I only wish these muns were Feds. They'd be easier to get away from. Although my mun has aspirations of becoming a Fed which is less than encouraging.