Kronk has an epiphany

[squeak_squeaker]

Hey... mun. Mun lady.

I just had a big thought! [Kronk gasped, before smiling brightly.] Yeah, I know! Doesn't happen very often. But it's a great one... I think it's the best thought I ever had! Real important stuff too. Okay, here it comes:

What if I don't speak squirrel, but squirrels SPEAK KRONK?

Yeah. That's...uh. Something else, huh? So much for all those Yzma people who think I'm kinda dumb! [He beamed at whoever was listening, clearly proud of himself.] Would a dumb guy come up with something as great as that? I don't think so. Hah. He'd probably think squirrels can't talk... because he's dumb. But I'm smart!

Smart... Kronk. Yeah.

Comments

[wise_lil_wolf]

I didn't know squirrels used words.

[squeak_squeaker]

That's because you're not smart people smart yet, little buddy!

[Friendly, encouraging smile.] But don't worry, I wasn't smart people smart at your age... smartness is something that needs to grow with time. Like handsomeness.

[wise_lil_wolf]

[Dad said it wasn't polite for humanoid EVOs to growl. Rafe was sorely tempted.]

Hmph.

I am a plenty smart person!

[He can sense this person means well. His emotional spectrum reads pleasant and not malicious.]

[Still.]

I don't mean they don't communicate, I mean... They Squeak and stuff.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was only trying to inspire him! If he, Kronk, could be a smart Kronk... anyone could, right?] O-oh yeah, you sure are! And better looking than me. Way better looking. And muscularer. [Aww, you where frightening Kronk! He was always kinda scared of angry people... was muscularer a word?]

That just means you got to squeak back. Squeak... squeaker? [Expectant headtilt.]

[wise_lil_wolf]

[Head tilt.]

I wouldn't go that far, sir.

Oh.

Well, I guess you are right.

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah... you're right! [Oh well. Kronk tried! He knew that good self-esteem was very important in young people.]

What's your favorite food, buddy?

[wise_lil_wolf]

Okay.

[There is a lot of good intentions behind everything the stranger was saying.]

Oh, that's hard.

I like chocolate covered peanuts and roasted rabbit..but not together! You know? How about you?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was, other than who he worked for, a very sweet guy. He wasn't smart enough to have any kind of evil ambitions of his own.]

Ohh... I could make you all that stuff, no problem. Do you think it'll cheer you up? [Big smile.]

Mine's spinach puffs! Or chocolate cake. Or cookies. Or...uh. Gee. Everything's great!

[wise_lil_wolf]

Really?

Are you a chef? Is that your gift?


[He smiles, genuinely interested.]

What is a spinach puff?

[celadon_skin]

Hasn't anyone invented universal translators where you're from?

[squeak_squeaker]

I dunno what that is yet, ma'am. Sir. [Kronk also couldn't tell what he was talking to... but he liked that spinach-y green skin color a lot!]

[celadon_skin]

A universal translator is a device that allows creatures of different species to communicate with each other.

[her eyes narrow in mild annoyance] And yeah, it's Ma'am. You got it right the first time, human.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh... woah. I wish I had one of those! I always wanted to talk to the little butterflies and... and the pet goldfishes. [Kronk smiled slowly and then he looked very relieved for guessing it right!]

You kinda remind me of my boss, ma'am, but green instead of purple.

[celadon_skin]

It's easy enough to get a translator if you're a space-faring specie. But by the looks of things yours hasn't quite reached that level of technology yet.

[she's been mistaken for a male before. Also by a human. She's starting to see a pattern here... however her head tilts slightly in interest] Oh? You work for an alien? [she's not angry, but without eyebrows it's kinda hard to tell]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was from Ancient Peru and they only had small canoes, not even real ships yet! Space travel was miles away, especially for a not so bright young man like Kronk.]

What's...uhh. What's that, space? [He looked awfully puzzled, before shaking his head.] Yzma's just an old lady, I think. But a funny looking one!

Gee... I sure hope she didn't hear that! She's not going to be happy with me if she did.

[celadon_skin]

[oooh, she's dealing with one of those types. This may prove to be very interesting. At the very least her mun is thoroughly entertained]

Space [she gestures upwards] is that part that's above the sky. Where the stars are.

Do I remind you of your boss because I look funny? [she folds her arms across her chest, staring at him pointedly. She has a theory that this Yzma may well be an alien in disguise]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk's slightly unfocused eyes followed her gesture and then he spend a good ten minutes trying to find stars... even though it was a clear, sunny afternoon. Yes, one of those types!]

...space. [He almost toppled over too, but managed to catch himself just in time.]

Ohhh...uh. [He fidgetted with his large hands, clumsily and clearly ashamed of ever calling Yzma funny and then implying that this green creature lady looked funny too! What was he thinking?] I didn't mean it like that! Hah. You don't look funny. You look pretty!

[kingofkeepers]

Those would be some pretty, uh... talented squirrels.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh yeah, they're good at squeak-

[Wait... what where those stripes on his face? Why where they there? Could Kronk POKE?]

[kingofkeepers]

Huh? What's the matter, something on my face?

[COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS. And they're totally manly tattoo-- ooh... oh. Just facepaint. But MANLY facepaint!]

[squeak_squeaker]

...hate to be the one to tell you, little buddy, but yeah. You do. [Comforting, careful pat on the shoulder. There there!]

But...uhh. It's not the end of the world! I have flaws too. [Quickly dabbing some spinach onto his nose.] My nose's all green and... and lumpy.

You're not all alone with your horrific deformity. Kronk's with ya! [Thumbs up?]

[kingofkeepers]

[Watch the hair now, it's POINTY~ going to stare up at Kronk, raising a brow]

Uh... Kronk, huh? Right. I don't know what Fudou's told you, but it's seriously just battle paint. Y'know, for sports and stuff?

Aha... ha.

[thumbs... up?]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Was that good, pointy hair? Kronk was just going to blink dumbly at him, before wiping the spinach off of his nose.]

Riiight. Mine was just spinach! You know, the vegetable?

I'm not really deformed. In fact, I'm a real strapping guy! But...uh. I didn't want you to feel bad about yourself.

[kingofkeepers]

[Well. Kinda the pokey-cactus-ends kind. Like a hedgehog only bigger. Watch your hands, bud!]

Right! The.. that's the super healthy one, right? Or... something. I'm more a meat kinda guy.

And I can tell, heh! Even if neither of us are deformed, that's still a cool thing to do, so thanks. [Genda grins, patting the big guy on the arm. Holy muscles batman]

Hey, do you play any sports? You're like... super strapping, man.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk knew better than to mess up someone's hair, since he lived with Yzma and Emperor Kuzco in one palace! That'd be a death wish.] Meat's good too, but you got to keep it balanced... vegetables and meat and bread stuffs and cookies. [Cookies was a seperate food group, right?]

[He looked puzzled for a bit, before smiling again.] No problem, buddy! [Also no problem with the bicep patting; Kronk was used to it.]

Yeah... super strapping. I don't play any sports, though I bet I'd be okay at them! [But Kronk was currently wasting his youth on serving Yzma, the world's ugliest old woman. Because hey... WHY NOT?]