Voice test redo, still not joining ink_city yet

[minor_setback]

[Following this conversation and eventually making it to Dreamwidth(Just assume it's weeks later), Evil comes striding in confidently. He's wearing a boy scout's uniform. He clears his throat and gets a box of cookies out of hammerspace.]

Greetings, fellow citizens of Dreamwidth. My name is John Smith, and I'm not a cat. I'm from Boy Scout troop #616, and I'm here to tell you all about the wonderfully tasty cookies that I wish to sell you. Did I tell you I'm not a cat?

Anyways, just look at this box of mint cookies! They look tasty, don't they? The first 20 buyers get another box free! Buy them now before they're all gone!

[He didn't mention at all how the cookies contained rat poison. Rat poison that would turn everyone into mindless rats.]

Comments

Re: OMG I LOVE YOU! CHILDHOOD!

[minor_setback]

Yes! Really! I've even got more than mint cookies! What flavor would you like? Buy one get one free!

[defendsearth]

If humanity believes this I fear for it and no. I don't want any of your cookies.

[minor_setback]

Why not? They're tasty! I'm sure many others will agree!

[He shoves a box into Dib's hands. Chocolate chips.]

I'll even let you have a free sample.

[defendsearth]

Why do you want me to have them so badly alien cat.

I bet you're trying to brainwash me in some way with your cookies.

Is that it? Is that your scheme? Huh? Huh?

[minor_setback]

I'm a boy scout. ...Who just so happens to be a cat.

[Seriously, what's with everyone being so smart?]

And why on earth would I want to brainwash you? I have no need for some slave. I'm merely selling some cookies for my boy scout troop.

[defendsearth]

You know you remind me of Zim that's why.

[minor_setback]

And who, pray tell, is this Zim?

[defendsearth]

An Irken bent on destorying huminaty and having his race rule the universe. He tries to blend in like you do and claim he's normal and tries to pass things off.

[minor_setback]

I can assure you that I never plan to subjugate anything. I'm just a normal little talking cat who just so happens to be in Boy Scouts. But enough of this prattle. I might suggest to have a little taste of those cookies I gave you.

And this... Irken... He sounds rather... how should I say this... Not that intelligent.

[defendsearth]

Boy, are you evil. I'll give you that.

[minor_setback]

[WHAT?!?]

...How can you possibly know that I'm evil? I never knew that being a boyscout and selling cookies was evil! Oh, how I loathe the smart ones...

[defendsearth]

Tempting me with cookies.... When I know there's something wrong with them. You know something I will keep them but not for eatting.

[minor_setback]

Hmph. And what exactly is wrong with my cookies? You never even opened up the box.

[defendsearth]

[Opens the box cautiously. They look so good. No! This whole thing is too suspicious]

I'll find out when I run some tests on them.

[minor_setback]

[Hmm...]

Very well. Run your tests on them, but just let me remind you that there is absolutely nothing behind you.

[And there isn't.]