Kronk's magical adventure in the world of love

[squeak_squeaker]

I'm... I'm scared too, mun.

[After making a post to a The Love Hotel meme, for shame!, Kronk found out that the person who replied to him used this thing as an icon.] You know, I think that's even worse than Yzma! I'm...uhh. Not really getting ahead with my love life here.

Seems like there's really a specific kind of lady that's attracted to me... strange how I go and appeal only to undead creature ladies who're all mutated and stuff!

That's specific. Maybe there's something about my muscles and chiseled features that really speaks to girls who look kinda, well, like that! Just my luck. But life goes on, right? [Riiight.] ...anyone hungry for some chocolate chip cookies? Just made some.

Comments

[topdog]

Sounds like you're having some romantic issues, pal. What kind of girl do you like?

I'd love the cookies, but I'd better not. Chocolate is toxic for dogs, dang the luck.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uhh. I dunno. I'd like a nice, sweet girl who likes animals and someone who'd eat my cooking! Hah. Or at least some of it.

[Kronk couldn't help but smile at the cute doggy.] Maybe I can make you something else, little guy?

[topdog]

Sounds like a great kinda girl! Especially the 'likes animals' part.

[Tail wags eagerly] I'm not a guy to turn down free food! Whatcha got?

[squeak_squeaker]

I'd sure like a girl like that! Wait... do you like animals too? [Kronk beamed at him, liking animals was the best ever!, blissfully unaware of just how dumb that question really was.]

Ohh... I got some dried llama jerky and some llama bacon. Llama bacon's really good!

[topdog]

[Scratches his ear with his hind leg, like maybe he wasn't sure he heard correctly] Uh, yeah, I like animals a lot! Except cats. Rats too. Other animals are okay, though.

Jerky and bacon? Brother, those are two of my favourite words!

[squeak_squeaker]

I love all the little forest animals, but chipmunks are my favorite! And squirrels. But that's kind of the same...uh. The same little animal.

They're fuzzy. [Kronk missed those chipmunks! Sniff. After wiping his eyes with the end of his apron, he managed to compose himself again.]

Great to hear, buddy! [He ran off and returned with a huge, happy plate covered in bacon-y treats for his new friend.]

[topdog]

Oh yeah, chipmunks and squirrels are a riot! They sure can go into funny contortions when you're chasin' 'em!

[Drools at the site of Dog Manna from Heaven] WOW, thanks, pal! [Digs in happily, tail going like crazy]

[squeak_squeaker]

You shouldn't chase those tiny critters! That's only scary to them, not...uh. Not fun. [Kronk didn't approve! He wasn't angry with Tramp but he was dissapointed. A little.]

No problem! [Big, encouraging smile. And a pat on the head too!] You just eat as much as you like! That's all yours and there's some good stuff in there... real tasty bacon. [No lying!]

[topdog]

Aw, I don't mean 'em any harm, it's just sport. It's more fun chasing chickens, anyway.

[Inhales the rest of the food and licks the plate] That was great, thanks again! I've never had a whole plate of bacon before, although sometimes Jim Dear will sneak me pieces under the table when Darling isn't looking.

[cleanse_theworld]

What a curious specimen. [Yes, you human.]

[squeak_squeaker]

I think it's some kinda mouse... rat lady thing. [Kronk was completely oblivious that he meant him.]

[cleanse_theworld]

Really? [Was he disturbed?]

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah... I dunno.

Or did you mean me, buddy? Me, I'm just a Kronk... guy. [Was 'Kronk guy' a normal thing to be?]

[cleanse_theworld]

Yes, you, human. What is your name? Do you have one?

[squeak_squeaker]

My name's Kronk! [Big, vacant smile.]

Huh... do you mean you aren't human? Could've fooled me! [Kronk thought he looked just like a human. A human with yellow hair, which they didn't have in Kuzcotopia.]

[cleanse_theworld]

I am more than a human. So much more. God has gifted me with an Amalgam form. Humans are weak, polluters of society.

[squeak_squeaker]

I just have this Kronk form. [It was kind of great! Kronk understood that he wasn't anything too fancy like an Amalgam or a Gamalam, but... Kronk form. Itwasmagical.]

[corruptedsouls]

[He is torn between OMG COOKIES and his natural distrust of people.

So he's just going to be staring like some kind of squirrel waiting to either pounce or flee.]

...Um...

[squeak_squeaker]

[At least he had some kind of distrust of people! Kronk trusted everyone blindly and it didn't even really matter if they promised him delicious OMG COOKIES or not. Sniff.]

Hey there, little guy!

YES A KRONK REPLY. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

[corruptedsouls]

[Well he was kind of... physically abused, starved almost to death, then mentally broken, so his distrust is actually fairly justified.

His Mun is nudging him forward, though, and she's never steered him wrong, so he's willing to go on a little bit of faith.]

...Hello...

YAAAY :D

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was very, very harmless... but you should really stay away from his boss, Yzma. She wasn't around, though. It was just Kronk and his cookies for now!]

Kinda shy, huh? I used to be shy, when I was a little kid. Still kind of am sometimes!

Not so much shy as just... far too old for his age there, Kronk.

[corruptedsouls]

...I guess.

[Those cookies smell good though. His hunger kind of wins out and he comes a bit closer.]

...I'd like one...

Kronk is mentally three, it evens itself out. T_T

[squeak_squeaker]

Only one cookie? [Headtilt.] You look like you could use some food, buddy.

[Kronk, who always felt motherly feelings towards the small and helpless, wondered if he should cook a full meal for the little guy instead.] What's your favorite kinda thing to eat? I'll make it for ya! No problem. [Dumb smile. It was a friendly dumb smile, though.]

This is true.

[corruptedsouls]

Um...

[He has to stop and think about this.]

...I don't remember. I don't get to eat a lot... so I'm not picky...

[squeak_squeaker]

Do you like pancakes? [Kronk learned a lot of great new recipes that didn't include pillbugs!]

I bet...uh. I bet Yzma doesn't mind if I cook for a hungry child. [...riiight.]