Kronk's magical adventure in the world of love

[squeak_squeaker]

I'm... I'm scared too, mun.

[After making a post to a The Love Hotel meme, for shame!, Kronk found out that the person who replied to him used this thing as an icon.] You know, I think that's even worse than Yzma! I'm...uhh. Not really getting ahead with my love life here.

Seems like there's really a specific kind of lady that's attracted to me... strange how I go and appeal only to undead creature ladies who're all mutated and stuff!

That's specific. Maybe there's something about my muscles and chiseled features that really speaks to girls who look kinda, well, like that! Just my luck. But life goes on, right? [Riiight.] ...anyone hungry for some chocolate chip cookies? Just made some.

Comments

[topdog]

Sounds like you're having some romantic issues, pal. What kind of girl do you like?

I'd love the cookies, but I'd better not. Chocolate is toxic for dogs, dang the luck.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uhh. I dunno. I'd like a nice, sweet girl who likes animals and someone who'd eat my cooking! Hah. Or at least some of it.

[Kronk couldn't help but smile at the cute doggy.] Maybe I can make you something else, little guy?

[topdog]

Sounds like a great kinda girl! Especially the 'likes animals' part.

[Tail wags eagerly] I'm not a guy to turn down free food! Whatcha got?

[squeak_squeaker]

I'd sure like a girl like that! Wait... do you like animals too? [Kronk beamed at him, liking animals was the best ever!, blissfully unaware of just how dumb that question really was.]

Ohh... I got some dried llama jerky and some llama bacon. Llama bacon's really good!

[topdog]

[Scratches his ear with his hind leg, like maybe he wasn't sure he heard correctly] Uh, yeah, I like animals a lot! Except cats. Rats too. Other animals are okay, though.

Jerky and bacon? Brother, those are two of my favourite words!

[squeak_squeaker]

I love all the little forest animals, but chipmunks are my favorite! And squirrels. But that's kind of the same...uh. The same little animal.

They're fuzzy. [Kronk missed those chipmunks! Sniff. After wiping his eyes with the end of his apron, he managed to compose himself again.]

Great to hear, buddy! [He ran off and returned with a huge, happy plate covered in bacon-y treats for his new friend.]

[topdog]

Oh yeah, chipmunks and squirrels are a riot! They sure can go into funny contortions when you're chasin' 'em!

[Drools at the site of Dog Manna from Heaven] WOW, thanks, pal! [Digs in happily, tail going like crazy]

[squeak_squeaker]

You shouldn't chase those tiny critters! That's only scary to them, not...uh. Not fun. [Kronk didn't approve! He wasn't angry with Tramp but he was dissapointed. A little.]

No problem! [Big, encouraging smile. And a pat on the head too!] You just eat as much as you like! That's all yours and there's some good stuff in there... real tasty bacon. [No lying!]

[cleanse_theworld]

What a curious specimen. [Yes, you human.]

[squeak_squeaker]

I think it's some kinda mouse... rat lady thing. [Kronk was completely oblivious that he meant him.]

[cleanse_theworld]

Really? [Was he disturbed?]

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah... I dunno.

Or did you mean me, buddy? Me, I'm just a Kronk... guy. [Was 'Kronk guy' a normal thing to be?]

[topdog]

Aw, I don't mean 'em any harm, it's just sport. It's more fun chasing chickens, anyway.

[Inhales the rest of the food and licks the plate] That was great, thanks again! I've never had a whole plate of bacon before, although sometimes Jim Dear will sneak me pieces under the table when Darling isn't looking.

[cleanse_theworld]

Yes, you, human. What is your name? Do you have one?

[squeak_squeaker]

It's nicer to be...uhhh. To be NICE to smaller animals! [Kronk was trying to teach him how it was great to be nice and snuggly to small fuzzies. Even though Tramp was a dog. Yeah.]

That's great! Hah... Jim Dear, that's a funny name. I mean, it's different from the names we got back home! My name's Kronk.

[squeak_squeaker]

My name's Kronk! [Big, vacant smile.]

Huh... do you mean you aren't human? Could've fooled me! [Kronk thought he looked just like a human. A human with yellow hair, which they didn't have in Kuzcotopia.]

[cleanse_theworld]

I am more than a human. So much more. God has gifted me with an Amalgam form. Humans are weak, polluters of society.

[topdog]

Hey, Kronk, I'm Tramp. People always called me 'the tramp' when I was a stray, so I guess it evolved into my name.

I'll make you a deal. Since you gave me all that great food, the next time I see a chipmunk or squirrel, I won't even bark at him.

[squeak_squeaker]

I just have this Kronk form. [It was kind of great! Kronk understood that he wasn't anything too fancy like an Amalgam or a Gamalam, but... Kronk form. Itwasmagical.]

Forgive Xargin XD

[cleanse_theworld]

[Obviously this man lacked a degree of intelligence.]

What is it that you do, Kronk?

[squeak_squeaker]

People call me Kronk! But...uhh. That's because my mama named me Kronk after the flying llama delivered me to her. [True story!]

That's great! I'm proud of you and the chipmunks and squirrels are real happy too. I'm kinda... kinda fluent in chipmunk. And dog! [Headtilt.]

I found out about that one because I'm talking to you and you're a dog.

He only speaks the truth. XD

[squeak_squeaker]

Me? I'm...uhh. I'm Yzma's henchman servant... guy. Man. [Kronk loved his job, except for Yzma's unkindness. If only she was a little nicer!]

[topdog]

You're a pretty remarkable human, Kronk. I didn't used to trust humans, but I'll bet if I'd had a master like you first time around, it would have been different.

Re: Of course.

[cleanse_theworld]

Ah, I see. A servant man. [He nodded.] Do you enjoy your line of work?

Re: Of course.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh yeah, it's great! I get to work in the palace.

But Yzma's not the easiest lady to please and stuff. [Looking down at his feet.] She's always calling me names and then she thinks I'm too dumb to feel sad about it, but I do. I'm not... not that dumb. [Sniff!]