Kronk is a little puzzled by modern clothes.

[squeak_squeaker]

Mun, uh... what are zippers? And shoelaces? And buttons?

I kinda like buttons, they got something lovable about them like little gumdrops that you can't eat for on your clothes, but shoelaces look like they're awfully complicated!

You don't suppose I can just keep wearing my own stuff? I know most people I meet here are modern people, but most of them are also kinda skinny and a lot paler than me and... and isn't it a good thing to be yourself, mun? That's what the Junior Chipmunks taught me, growing up... yeah. [Slow blink.]

I bet those guys that make fun of my purple man skirt are just jealous they can't pull it off! Maybe I should just sew some buttons on it, so everyone's going to think it's new? [Kronk thought it was real smart of him to think of that. He was bound to fool EVERYONE with his buttons!]

Comments

[shiningascent]

Oooh, ooh! Get some really shiny ones! I know I'd be impressed!

Huh, maybe I should get some buttons too... but I dunno where I'd put them.

[squeak_squeaker]

You'd be impressed, REALLY? [Kronk figured that if this boy, who looked all Emperor-y, would be impressed... everyone would be!]

Maybe...uh. Maybe on your nose or something. Or on your cape thing! [Big smile.]

[shiningascent]

Absolutely!! Besides, I hear it hurts when you get stuff caught in zippers, so buttons are definitely the way to go! [Biiiig smile right back! Pit feels so smart right now~]

Hey, yeah, the cape thing! That's a good idea, the ol' toga could use some coolification. That's a word, right?

[squeak_squeaker]

Ohh... I'll remember that, about the zippers! [For as long as he could. For Kronk, that was about five minutes.] Coolifaction. Yeah, I think that's a real word! What does it mean?

[Then, he noticed something stange about the other.] HEY! You have wings!

Are you part bird? [Kronk was incredibly confused, amazed even and he had a hard time not reaching out and poking those feathery wings. But that'd be rude! Kronk was a polite young man, that was the way his mama raised him.]

[shiningascent]

It means 'making something totally awesome and cooler than it used to be!' so... coolification! Something like-- Huh?

[Flappity flappity. It takes Pit a second to process, but--] No! Nononono, heh, I'm an angel! There's a big difference~

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh... I wish I knew how to do that! [Kronk really hoped his new best buddy, Angel Guy, could teach him how to 'cool' his own outfit up a bit!]

I've got two angels, little angel Kronk's. But they're on my shoulders and I dunno if anyone else gets to see them!

[satdownbesideher]

Of course you should be yourself. Why not chew on one of those dainty little buttons, hm? They should fit nicely down your throat, little fleshie.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk listened to that without his expression noticably changing, up until 'little fleshie']

Aren't I a big fleshie? I'm...uhh. Kinda big! And I dunno if buttons are very delicious.

[satdownbesideher]

You're not that big compared to me. I could squish you like a little bug, in fact.

I was telling you to choke on that button, by the way. I think you're to moronic to notice.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uh. You shouldn't squish me! If you squish me, you don't get to try my signature spinach puffs or my delicious chocolate cake! You'll really miss out.

[Kronk raised his eyebrows in disbelief.] That's... that's not very nice, ma'am.

[satdownbesideher]

Why would I miss out? I don't eat your 'food'.

Did I give off the impression that I'm a nice person? Please tell me you've figured out that I'm not. I hated trying to pretend.

[squeak_squeaker]

I was kinda hoping you'd be a nice lady! [Kronk gave her a big smile. He was always under the impression that people would become nicer if he was nice to them... it didn't always work out like that.]

[satdownbesideher]

I'm neither nice, nor a lady. Try again, fleshie.

[squeak_squeaker]

Huh. You're not a lady? [Now he was really confused!]

But you've got lipstick on. Right? [The only person that Kronk knew who wore lipstick was Yzma.]

[satdownbesideher]

Humans wear lipstick. I'm not human.

[squeak_squeaker]

You're not? That...uhh. That probably explains why you're so big! [Kronk felt awfully clever for figuring that one out.]

What's your name? Mine's Kronk.

[satdownbesideher]

You want to know my name?

Tell you what. I'll trade you for it. You give me something and I'll tell you my name.

[squeak_squeaker]

Okay! [Kronk smiled his usual vacant smile, before digging through his skirt pockets.] I got two silver coins, one little gold coin and some cookies.

[satdownbesideher]

I don't want those. I want your head. I collect them, you see. Souvenirs from other fools I've met.

[squeak_squeaker]

You can't have my head, I kinda like it. It's handsome. [Kronk didn't want someone else's head!]

[satdownbesideher]

Not especially.

What if I just decide to take it instead?

[squeak_squeaker]

Now that's just not nice... I know my chin's on the big side, but-

Take it where? [Headtilt.]

[satdownbesideher]

... are you really that stupid?

[squeak_squeaker]

HEY. I'm not stupid. I'm...uh. I'm just really, really confused!

[satdownbesideher]

No, you're a moron.

Forget the head. I wouldn't want such an empty thing anyway.

[squeak_squeaker]

We're not going to be besr friends, are we? [That made Kronk very sad!]

[satdownbesideher]

I don't do friends, especially with idiot fleshbags.

[squeak_squeaker]

...ohh. [Kronk just looked sad. It was a shame they couldn't become friends!]

[satdownbesideher]

Run along now, before I decide to squash you like a bug.

[squeak_squeaker]

Don't you want a hug first? I give great ones!

[satdownbesideher]

No.

[squeak_squeaker]

Alright. Uhh... bye then! I hope you have a nice day and stuff.