voice testing this sulky jerk

[smilederek]

Just so we're entirely clear on this: You do not need an icon of me rolling around on the floor shirtless, and no I do not do it all the time.

And just for the record? There is a difference between undergoing involuntary bodily spasms due to being electrocuted and "rolling around".

Comments

[selich]

Stop, drop and roll is a fucking valuable technique in life. Maybe your mun is just concerned for your safety.

Or perving, whatever.

[smilederek]

She's not concerned for my safety. All her favorite episodes involve me almost dying.

[selich]

See almost.

Wait - how shirtless were you then? Maybe there's some kind of dying-nude algorithm going on here?

[smilederek]

I was shirtless the first tw--

[Wait]

We're not talking about this.

[selich]

The first two times? So it was definitely more than that the third. [tut tut.]

[smilederek]

What part of "we're not talking about this" was confusing for you?

[rarr rarr no revisiting his near death experiences!]

[selich]

[eye roll]

It's a wind-up? Banter? What blokes do? You're the one bringing up electrocutions and being in the skud in the first place.

But if it's, like. A thing then. Alright. 'Cause everybody's got those.

[smilederek]

[Derek does not banter! HE IS TOO GRIM.]

It's not a thing. I just didn't think bringing it up was going to invite data collection.

[selich]

It was for science. And you're kind of yelling it out to everyone, what'd you think would happen? [and at this point he purposefully sniffs.] Everyone fall down at the big bad wolf routine? Not likely.

[smilederek]

[...Oh no you didn't.]

Oh, believe me, you haven't seen the big bad wolf routine yet.

[But he's prepared to give you a little taster. Enjoy the sound of a werewolf growling at you.]

[selich]

[Lochlann just. Looks at him. Head tilted as if to say 'really?']

Fey creatures are worse.

[smilederek]

[You're not making him want to growl any less at you.]

Are they now? And I suppose I should just take that as a friendly warning?

[selich]

Take it however you bloody like. You're the touchy one.

Jesus, how do you lot find out what's what in your world if you don't fucking - I don't know. Use the senses the great whatever-you-believe-in gave you?

[smilederek]

I've never met fey before.

[But believe you me, his nostrils are flaring like crazy and he is STARING AT YOU and trying to listen to your heartbeat and all of that good stuff.]

And personally I'd rather be paranoid than caught off guard, if it's all the same to you.

[selich]

Selkie, if you want to really get into it. Actually no, let's not - politics.

Angry dog on land, meet angry dog in the water. [And he gives a small, mock-bow.] Generally we're an alright lot so long as you keep the fuck away from our skins and the bairns.

[Except for the part where they sometimes drown people for their pretty hair c:]

[smilederek]

[Derek's just going to lean forward, and sniffsniffsniffsniffsniff. He's going to remember what a Selkie smells like, damn it! Then he'll lean back again, slightly, still regarding you with the grumpiest face of all existence.]

I don't know if you've noticed it, but right now we happen to be on land.

[aka: arooooo I am an alpha male and I need to make it clear that I think I could take you.]

[rainfading]

Are they, now?

[selich]

Yep. [and he makes a thumbing gesture over his shoulder in Derek's direction.] With that lot it's all huff and puff.

Now, the real monsters. They smile kindly first.

[rainfading]

Why don't you educate me a little? About these real monsters.

[ bad faqra stop trolling :C ]

[selich]

[No, troll and stay forever c:]

Well. Okay. So, a couple of years back when I was first pissing about and getting up to stuff, this kid drowned by the beach. And it niggled at me, because the papers said similar accidents kept happening. I went looking through archives and things and some of them were accidents, but there was always one about every seven years, right at the same time.

So...I went looking. It was. There's not really a word for it? I think the best thing I can describe it as a type of water sprite. It could look child sized and I think that's what it used to do, it used to make itself look like another lonely kid on their holidays or whatever and lure them out there. It was nice to me at first.

The worst thing is that Bertrand - um, he's a mate - said that they were usually people themselves at one point, sacrificed by some settlement and bound by whatever ritual. And the belief gives them that little something extra. But when that starts to die out, they find something else to live off. And it's just sad no matter what way you look at it then.

[rainfading]

A little child to lead them. Right into death, as per.

We call those the children of Carthage, the ghosts of sacrifices. What did you do with it?

[lupa]

[Good-naturedly--]

Yeah, crisse, you don't fuck with fairies.

I mean, you don't fuck with werewolves either, but at least we're not imaginative about it.

[selich]

Thank you! [wait] I think.

This is like the worst thing to boast about. But yeah, and you guys win in numbers anyway.

[lupa]

Yeah, yeah, it was a-- yeah, a really bad compliment.

[awkward.]

That's true, but it can go either way. We might kill for each other or just kill each other.

[awkward.]

[selich]

Eh, human standards.

[shruuug.]

It's just life for the rest of us.