voice testing this sulky jerk

[smilederek]

Just so we're entirely clear on this: You do not need an icon of me rolling around on the floor shirtless, and no I do not do it all the time.

And just for the record? There is a difference between undergoing involuntary bodily spasms due to being electrocuted and "rolling around".

Comments

[selich]

[--! Now that he hadn't been expecting. His cheeks go just the tiniest bit red; the shirt gets dropped back down.]

We have a loose definition of the word.

[smilederek]

[With very great effort, Derek manages to resist the urge to look smug about this tiny victory.]

So I can see. Do you want a hand up, or are you planning on staying down there?

[aka: do I manhandle you to your feet, or do you spend the rest of this conversation on the floor?]

[selich]

Um. Yeah. Okay.

[Manhandling is good! His hand shoots out.]

[smilederek]

[Manhandling it is! Derek doesn't take Lochlann's hand, but he does reach down and grab his forearm with one hand, and a fist full of the Selkie's shirt with the other. Hope you were up for being physically hauled up off the floor, Lochlann, because that's what's happening.]

[selich]

[Yes, yes he definitely was.]

On the bright side, at least someone else was rolling about on the floor for a change?

[smilederek]

[Well, he's not going to smile, but there is a brief hiatus in the scowling.]

Mm. I'm sure you were just trying to make me feel at home. You got a name?

[selich]

Let it never be said we Scots aren't known for our hospitality. [smirk!]

Lochlann.

[smilederek]

Derek.

So, you're a Selkie. That's a seal person, isn't it?

[selich]

The very same. And no, you don't get to see the skin.

[Speaking of paranoid people.]

[smilederek]

I wasn't planning on asking.

[But now he's just going to lean forward and... sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff, again. Not that he's planning on using Lochlann's scent to find his skin or anything, that'd be a terrible thing to do.

...Trying to make Lochlann think that he's going to do that, on the other hand? PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.]

[selich]

[kindly:]

It takes less than thirty millimeters of water for someone to drown face down in and guess what I can manipulate.

[c:]

[smilederek]

You'd have to hope I drowned very quickly if you wanted that to work.

[Sniff sniff sniff sniff not backing off.]

[selich]

You do realise most of the people who do that want to use us as sex slaves?

[eyebrow raise]

[smilederek]

You have a bit of a one track mind, don't you, Lochlann?

[selich]

[Now it's his turn to make an inhuman noise.]

Does it sound like I'm fucking joking to you?

[smilederek]

[There's a tilt of his head, and his tone changes very slightly, as he replies:]

Selkie, I have absolutely no intention of going looking for your skin, or trying to use you as a sex slave.

[He's not being flippant. He doesn't say it as if it should be obvious, he's just straight out saying it.]

[selich]

I know that! [it's snapped in reply.]

But there's some things where you just don't fucking go there and saying that I like the thought of - [he's not even going to say it] well that's fucking one of them!

[smilederek]

I did think you were being flippant. Making another innuendo.

I'm sorry.

[Tone's not changing here. He mistook a genuine concern for another attempt to make him feel uncomfortable, Lochlann's pretty thoroughly entitled to snap at him for that shit.]

[selich]

[breathe]

Look, I like winding folk up and messing with straight guys as much as the next person - 'cause let's face it, if we were both human, you could boot the shit out of me and get away with it.

But I'm not some sicko. That's just... Yeah, I know what the stories make it sound like. But stories lie.

[smilederek]

I could do that and get away with it anyway.

[DEREK NOW IS NOT THE TIME.]

I don't think you're a sicko, and at no point in this conversation have you given that impression. You just seem like a flirt.

Have people made those decisions about you before?

[selich]

Oh, fuck off.

[That time it was flippant and jokey. The Art of Swearing.]

Not me. [Someone close to him, then.]

[smilederek]

[You get the smallest, ghost of a smile, before it gets chased away by seriousness again.]

Someone else, though?

[selich]

Yeah.

[But that's about all he's getting out of someone who's usually chatty. So, non-sequitor.]

Is it just wolves where you're from? We've got the whole lions and tigers and bears thing going on.

[dum-dee-dum, because they're not talking about that.]

[smilederek]

[He'll leave it for now. But yep, he's putting this conversation in his little book of memories to be pried into later.]

You hear about other things, from time to time. Occasionally something else'll come passing through and need to be dealt with, but I've certainly seen more wolves than anything else.

What else is there?

[selich]

[He cay try, anyway. In the meantime, Lochlann starts to reel off.]

Vampires and werewolves are sort of like America and Soviet Russia - the two main superpowers and a Cold War going on. Then you've got every other were-being you can think of. And I mean that. Bears, birds, big cats. Even spiders and elephants, I've been told.

You've got the Fey, although there's not many that interact with the human world. Most of us hate cities. They stay within the Seelie and Unseelie courts in their own realms, but now there's a faction called the Abseelie court, which is just a huge clusterfuck.

Oh, and witches. They won't let you forget them in a hurry.

What you encounter depends on where you are. Edinburgh has more ghosts than a couch has spare change. Not a lot of vampires - that's Glasgow. We attract an international crowd, what with the universities and just the world being what it is today. Not as big as London obviously. Fuck, don't even get me started on London.